Is this morally Wrong

[carboncopy]

The only reason girls go on these sites is to find a new partner, guess you better talk to her quickly, if you think she is worth fighting for

 

[longleg]

Exactly right carbon!! Soul you better get talking to her, or dump her before she dumps you!!!

 

[peepnklown]

If you are not practicing safe-sex, I would start now. I would either dump her, or start seeing other females behind her back.

 

[soulfulman]

I could never cheat on her, but get what you mean by safe sex !!!!!

 

[Eudaimonist]

Hi All,

Just gaugin opinion on this, I have just discovered that my Girlfriend of 4 years is a member of 2 dating sites and has corresponded with other men on these sites, I do not know whether she has met up with them or not, She is unaware that I know about her membership, Should I actually challenge her about it???

Sometimes people go to these "dating" sites simply in order to find friends. I'd have a talk with her and find out why she's going there. It may not be what you expect.

 

[ThatRobGuy]

Hi All,

Just gaugin opinion on this, I have just discovered that my Girlfriend of 4 years is a member of 2 dating sites and has corresponded with other men on these sites, I do not know whether she has met up with them or not, She is unaware that I know about her membership, Should I actually challenge her about it???

What I would do is:

1. Register on one of those sites under a name she won't recognize.
2. Get a fake picture - post it on there
3. Send a message to her, see how she responds

It's a deceitful plot, but drastic circumstances call for drastic solutions.

Good luck!

 

[carboncopy]

Great idea Mini !!! at least you will know for certain what she's upto Soul !!!

 

[ebia]

.
The only reason we don't get married is because we cannot afford to buy a house of our own or the cost of a wedding, which in any case would not be held in a church as we are both divorced from failed previous relationships, neither of which failed due to either myself or my girlfriend !!!

Forgive me if someone else has picked up on this before, but I couldn't see anything so,...

These are pathetic reasons not to have gotten married. You may well have good reasons for not marrying, but these are not:

• You don't need to buy a house of your own to get married. Heaps of people have got married without owning a house of their own. So long as you can find somewhere to live together, that's sufficient.
• Weddings do not have to cost a lot of money. Most of them do, but that is only because people choose to blow absurd amounts of cash on it. You can get married (and have a memorable wedding) for very little money.
• There are a fair number of churches that will marry divorced people, particularly when the failed marriage were not the fault of the people getting married.

 

[ebia]

What I would do is:

1. Register on one of those sites under a name she won't recognize.
2. Get a fake picture - post it on there
3. Send a message to her, see how she responds

It's a deceitful plot, but drastic circumstances call for drastic solutions.

Good luck!

Or you could just take her to see Cosi fan Tutti, and then discuss how plausible the plot is.

 

[Hispath]

If there is anything good to your relationship and you have plans to stay together and get married, then talk to her.

Were you digging for dirt on her? If so, you already feel that there is an issue.

If this is a relationship you want in the future, talk to her, don't yell, scream, accuse, just talk. Express your feelings tactfully, listen to what she has to say, then respond thoughtfully.

If this is not a relationship you see for the future, then it is time to go.

Good Luck! I definitely know that relationships are not easy and take a boat load of work! Is she worth it? Are you worth it?

Jim

 

[Illuminatus]

She's a monstrous harlot! Talking with men! On dating sites! Even though you're not even engaged! And having blatantly immoral sex! Decapitate her quickly!

 

[carboncopy]

Sometimes people go to these "dating" sites simply in order to find friends. I'd have a talk with her and find out why she's going there. It may not be what you expect.

Hi Euda,

I agree with you that he needs to talk to her to find out what she is doing, but there are plenty of friendship sites she could join if she was looking for friends, Dating sites tend to be if your looking for more than friendship, Don't you think ??

 

[AtheistPerson]

Whats the point of going on a dating site when you have a relationship? Your girlfriend must like meeting people online or something...

 

[HisEagle]

Hi All,

Just gaugin opinion on this, I have just discovered that my Girlfriend of 4 years is a member of 2 dating sites and has corresponded with other men on these sites, I do not know whether she has met up with them or not, She is unaware that I know about her membership, Should I actually challenge her about it???

Depends. If you both agreed to date each other exclusively, then yes you should confront her to find out why she is on those sites. If you have not agreed to date each other exclusively, then you could simply ask her if she wants to pursue that route...unless of course you don't want to yourself - in which case you really have no right to get upset with her.

 

[carboncopy]

So come on then soul, all this good advice, Don't keep us in suspense have you decided what your gonna do ????

 

[knightlight72]

.

I was not asking if dating sites were immoral, I was asking if her going behind my back was immoral, perhaps you ought to try reading the thread before replying to it, and while we are on the subject can you please tell me what is immoral about two people who are in love, making love?? The only reason we don't get married is because we cannot afford to buy a house of our own or the cost of a wedding, which in any case would not be held in a church as we are both divorced from failed previous relationships, neither of which failed due to either myself or my girlfriend !!!

You don't need to own a house to be married. And to get married costs about 50 dollars, if you elope. To be honest, if you were in a church as a member, the pastor would do the ceremony for free, and the church would be allowed to be used for free as well.

If you just want to elope, then there's the 50 bucks for the justice to marry you. I think most people can afford to come up with a few dollars to be married. I think you might be referring to a ceremony, and supper for a reception of severl dozens or hundreds of people. that is not needed to be married.

 

[Eudaimonist]

I agree with you that he needs to talk to her to find out what she is doing, but there are plenty of friendship sites she could join if she was looking for friends, Dating sites tend to be if your looking for more than friendship, Don't you think ??

Some sites are a combination of dating and friendship. I'm simply suggesting he check reality and not jump to easy conclusions out of fear.

 

[Mystman]

You don't need to own a house to be married. And to get married costs about 50 dollars, if you elope. To be honest, if you were in a church as a member, the pastor would do the ceremony for free, and the church would be allowed to be used for free as well.

If you just want to elope, then there's the 50 bucks for the justice to marry you. I think most people can afford to come up with a few dollars to be married. I think you might be referring to a ceremony, and supper for a reception of severl dozens or hundreds of people. that is not needed to be married.

Ofcourse, most people (say, like 99.9999999999999999999% of everybody living in the western world) want their wedding day to be special.

While marrying in your normal clothes is certainly "special", it isn't really the kind of special that most people want.

Anyway, as for the OP: just subtly bring the subject up sometime. This is something that you should talk about, but it has no use to do it in a confronting manner so to say..

 

[levi501]

bad sign man... depending on the relationship and how open and upfront you are with each other I would either confront her or if you think she'll lie, sign up on the site and contact her.

Either way, NO WOMAN should be on a dating site if she's happily committed.
"To meet friends" excuse is simply bs. She could join local groups in town or if online friends is what she wants, join nondating forums and post.

Regardless, you may need to face the reality that what you feel for her isn't mutual. Sorry, and g'luck.

 

[levi501]

Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 7:2
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.


Since you ask about a relationship having a sexual content, the Christian answer would be that sex is moral within a marriage. If (for whatever reason) you aren't married, the question of morality with a girlfriend exploring dating sites is somewhat moot if the sexual morality and commitment within a marriage is not present.

Sorry can't let you get away with posting this without it being challenged.
I can see no reason to assume that these passages preach against pre-marital sex. The first one describes the union of marriage and what it entails and the other shows favor to these types of unions. Neither say anything for or against pre-marital sex. YOUR christian perspective is noted but unsupported by the passages you sited.