Is this a valid theory?

[Macrina]

Okay, I know this isn't going to be universally true, but I'm trying to see if I have any kind of a general trend here. Let me know what you think...

The theory is that you have a guy and a girl and one says to the other "I really value your friendship."

1) If it's the guy speaking, he's dropping a hint that he wants to be "just friends," nothing more.

2) If it's the girl speaking, she's dropping a hint that she wants to be "more" than friends.

So how about it? Might there be something in this theory?

 

[Melbelle]

I think you nailed it, I mean men are hard to figure out anyway but usely when a woman says "Close friends" we mean "CLOSE" Friends like b/f and g/f so hummm lol

 

[the_man]

I think for guy/girl relationships, if frienship has to be spelled out (by either party) the implication is that they are not looking for a gf/bf relationship.

 

[Stanfi]

I think it depends on the person. In either case, I don't think it is a statement is hinting that they want something more. Here are my translations.

1. I really do value your friendship. Your are a good friend, and I mean it.

2. I don't want to date you, but I am to big of a coward to tell you that, so I am just telling you that I value your friendship, hopeing you will be dissapointed, and walk out of my life, and not bug me and the person I really like. However, my conscious will be clear, since I told you I was your friend.

 

[Apollonian]

Yeah, I think the easiest way for a girl to communicate that she is interested in a guy is to augment talk about "friendship" with personal praise "you're awesome". On the flip side, girls - be careful about praising guys too much, they may think you're coming on to them.

 

[TriptychR]

I don't think one side more commonly means a certain thing when they say that. I think it depends more on the confidence and ettiquette of the individual.

 

[chanis]

I think it depends on the person, in some cases it might be true, but I know for myself I've told frineds and I was never implying anything but the fact that I truly valued their friendship...

 

[LongingForLight]

The only times I have said that were a) telling an insecure friend that they were important to me b) Thanking someone for standing by me through thick and thin (including guys, but not a come-on), and c) Right after breaking up with a guy who I really wanted to remain friends with - just not b/f, g/f friends.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I (as a woman) would mean just exactly what the statement says, "I really value your friendship." Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Macrina]

Hmm, interesting diversity of opinions here. No wonder men and women get so confused when we talk to each other.

 

[RadicalJeeper]

Everytime I've ever heard that statement from a girl it has ment that she only wanted to be friends, but then I never hear from that girl again. I believe girls and guys are equally hard to read by the opposite sex.

 

[Macrina]

Everytime I've ever heard that statement from a girl it has ment that she only wanted to be friends, but then I never hear from that girl again. I believe girls and guys are equally hard to read by the opposite sex.

probably so, lol

 

[Stanfi]

Look at it this way, If someone is into you romantically, the you will know it. They will want to talk to you and spend time with you. Actions speak the truth. If they just keep giving you the run around with words, they aren't in to you, don't matter what they say. Some just don't have the guts to tell the truth.

 

[Green Orchid]

I think your theory is right.

When I was single, I would only talk about "our friendship" with a guy if I was interested in him.

Otherwise, I would just not bring up the topic of friendship at all, I mean, you know you're friends when you're friends with someone, if that makes sense. lol

 

[newcreature]

A guy saying to a girl that he really values her friendship, is like a girl saying to a guy that he is really sweet. My husband told me that if a girl tells you this, that it is the kiss of death.lol

 

[soda]

it depends on the prehistory of the two, but (with this speical guy in mind) your probably right. it really depends on their relationship so far. I guess.

 

[unimportantbuthisnameis]

Hmm, interesting diversity of opinions here. No wonder men and women get so confused when we talk to each other.

glad to know I'm not alone on the confusion.

 

[the_man]

glad to know I'm not alone on the confusion.

Even tho opinions vary, we all agree on a lot more than we disagree (atleast from what I gather fromt he statements). What we agree on is that "I value our friendship" can mean less than it means or can mean exactly what it means. It can never mean more than it means.

 

[JPPT1974]

glad to know I'm not alone on the confusion.

Me too!!

 

[fishstix]

Okay, I know this isn't going to be universally true, but I'm trying to see if I have any kind of a general trend here. Let me know what you think...

The theory is that you have a guy and a girl and one says to the other "I really value your friendship."

1) If it's the guy speaking, he's dropping a hint that he wants to be "just friends," nothing more.

2) If it's the girl speaking, she's dropping a hint that she wants to be "more" than friends.

So how about it? Might there be something in this theory?

I think the situation and context has more to do with the meaning than does gender. For example:

Person A: "I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level."
Person B: "I really value your friendship..."

In that case, you can be pretty sure that there is going to be an 'and I wouldn't want to lose that, so let's just be friends' coming up, regardless of whether Person B is male or female.