I am 26 this year, a woman, and i'm busy. I want to do get my phd and there are discoveries and contributions i want to make in my academic field, also, i am working towards owning a bentley or a lambo. i am upper middle class and i aim to be in the upper classes, or at least i want to be known in my field of study, i want to accomplish something. i think i could make progress in less than a decade, then i will be ready for a relationship.
OK, but it sounds like you're chasing a lifestyle and an academic dream at the same time. Why the Bentley or the Lambo? Do you seriously expect to be able to pay for those out of your own pocket?
throughout the years, i have met many men (at least 2 new men each year) who show interest in me, and whom i have been, too, interested in. i admit it, i want a relationship. i am emotionally ready, but i will not have time for one. i have much to do, much to study, not to mention i am not firm in God's word yet. How will i be able to provide spiritual protection and guidance for my spouse and children? Besides that , i just have no time, it's true in less than 10 years i may not have accomplished everything yet but i will have accomplished what i have to in order to be available for a significant other.
You've been meeting 2 interested men a year up to age 26. That's going to fall off. You will not be as attractive at 36 as you are now at 26. Your academic achievements, and your income and your dream car will not make you more attractive to most men. Furthermore, a Christian man doesn't want a Christian wife for spiritual guidance and protection. He understands that is
his job. Now, he will want her to be strong in her faith so that she can help with spiritually guiding, protecting, and teaching the children and he will appreciate her spiritual tenacity in backing him up, but he is the high priest of the home. Wives can and should be spiritually strong, but he is the spiritual leader, that is his responsibility to her (Ephesians 5:25-30). And from what you've shared, it really sounds like spiritual growth is behind your career and your lifestyle in terms of priorities. Since those two are going to take so much time, how will you be in a spiritually good place at age 36 when your physical attractiveness has already begun to fade?
Also they must be the wrong men right ? When the right one comes i will be ready.
I don't believe in "the one" as it's not a Biblical teaching. People are allowed to remarry after their spouses die. If one or more spouses dies, it wouldn't necessarily be "one" for a person, it could be two or more, depending on how many times the person was widowed. Therefore, there can be multiple right people for a person. Therefore, you could be meeting some "right men" right now.
It's ultimately your choice if you want to pursue your career and lifestyle at the expense of relationships, but when you finally feel that you want to settle down in 10-15 years remember that the caliber of men who might be interested in you will be different than the men you're meeting today. They will likely be old enough to still consider 35-40 young and attractive (so mid-40s and up). Maybe they'll have children already from previous relationships, if we're going with Biblically legitimate we'll assume they had wives that died. If you want them on your economic level and you've got the Bentley, that's going to be harder because men with that much money can generally date younger women than 35. These younger women might not have your money, but those men don't need your money. These younger women might not have your credentials, but men generally don't marry women for their academic and professional credentials. If I meet two equally young and attractive women tomorrow, one with a Ph.D and another without, that Ph.D is not the tiebreaker. Similarly, if I meet two equally young and attractive women tomorrow, one with a Bentley and one without, that Bentley is not the tiebreaker. You might be very intelligent, and intelligence is a good thing to have, but you're applying your intelligence to your field and to making money as your first two priorities. I as a man would much rather have a woman who applies her intelligence first to growing in God and to being a better wife and mother. That woman won't be prioritizing the higher income brackets and won't be dreaming about a Bentley (1 Timothy 6:6-10). If I could choose between an attractive and intelligent 35 year old who invested her intelligence in growing as a Christian and as a wife and as a would-be mother for the last 9 years, and an equally intelligent and good-looking 35 year old who pursued career and possessions first, I'm going to choose the one who didn't choose career and possessions first. The one who did isn't as ready to make a home, and she has to mentally switch gears from her old priorities which is not going to be an easy adjustment; she's less mature in the areas that matter. And of course, if there's a third who is just as attractive & intelligent, and put the last 9 years into growing in God and becoming a better wife and mother instead of lifestyle and possessions, and she's 30 instead of 35, I'll pick that one. More so if she's in her late 20's.
So you can choose this path if you want to, but understand that your options will be limited, and being in your late 30's, female, single, and starting mentally where many women in their early to mid-20s have to start in terms of learning to make themselves available to a man is not an enviable place to be. Count the cost, and go your way.
