Hi QC,
I have noticed that when I have gone all-out for God in my life, that people seem turned away, and they make it socially uncomfortable for YOU because you made it socially uncomfortable for THEM. I noticed that I seemed to have more favor with people and got along with them better when I just lived my own life, and toned down the whole "serious Christian" thing somewhat.
Well mate, when you do this in need to know whether you are standing in front of wayside, stony, or thorny Christians, and I thats what they are, then of course they will feel uncomfortable, because many of them like their comfort zone.
This has been a hard journey for me to strike this balance between the earthly and the heavenly.
But, what part, natural or supernatural?
I mean, you WANT to live for God, but when you really go all out, it gets really hard for you. And what is mystifying to me is that Jesus lived all out for the Father, but the only people who gave him problems were his own disciples and the religious leaders. The large majority of people accepted him.
Yes mate, when we live for our LORD JESUS CHRIST we do make many uncomfortable even some of the 30-fold and 60-fold.
We need to have a balance what living all out for our Lord Jesus Christ really means. DO you mean like a monk?
When one of His Disciples get amongst the fold, at times its like as though you pulled a pin out of a grenade and let the clip go, and hand to someone. Ha-ha-ha!
Then when you sit and think about that, you wonder, "Is there something wrong with my Christianity? Have I been taught wrong?"
No mate, its that you are a rough diamond and you need to grind away against the face of other rough diamonds, sometimes called stones!
Also, there is this disturbing trend I find that when I get more serious for God, more into the Bible, more attending church, more intense about spirituality, the more negative, angry, disappointed, and bitter I become, and I don't seem to be able to enjoy myself.
Well mate, when that happens there is possibly the wrong spirit in your church.
Ive fallen over backwards to please people and to be accepted and to be a service, and sadly if you dont belong to the clique then you OUT!
I have had this problem all my life, and I only seemed to be able to enjoy myself in life a few years back when I became less spiritual and started becoming more earthly.
Ah mate, the Body of Christ is more earthly and New Age than what you may think!
I found that the more I was in church, the more I prayed, the more I read the Bible, et cetera, the more I became "on edge" with everyone and everything.
Mate, Ive been an out-of-church believer for a long time, and it does hurt at times when you have no fellowship. SO, I went to our church last Sunday and it was like walking into a refrigerator. Nobody walked up to me and said Gday, where have you been havent seen you for a long time? And when I walked up to other people, they uncomfortably spoke to me and looked around just in case someone caught them talking to me.
Mate, in most churches there are more people who have their feet in TWO CAMPS!
Mate, I came to God in 1957, and I found our Lord Jesus Christ in 1991.
It all comes down to our foundation, and sadly those who are suppose tend and feed His lambs and sheep have failed HIM, and you and others just like me are not expressing their concerns, and begin to berate and badger themselves that they are to blame.
You are not to blame at all mate, those who are suppose tend, feed, and lead are the ones to be held accountable and responsible for your demise.
Now I find myself less spiritual, and I wish I was more spiritual with God without having all the negatives.
Mate, the negatives that you are talking about may be positives. Have you ever thought that our Lord Jesus Christ is giving you insight to what the Body of Christ is really like?
Your not the first person to express these concerns.
But, when our Lord Jesus Christ gives us insight into seeing things in other people, we need to also see the same things in ourselves.
Yes, at times I am negative now, but believe me, it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to be. When I was all up in it a few years back, I was very depressed and very down at times. I find it easier to forgive now than I used to. I find it easier to laugh, and I don't get offended now when people use profanity on TV or in the movies. I find things funny now whereas I used to look for a spiritual application in them.
Mate, many of us still carry many deep down hurts and offences in the layers of our hearts.
I was raised in a fundamentalist household dad was a 4-year grad of BJU in 1971], and way back in the mid-to-late 1970's, when beer commercials would come on television, dad would turn the sound all the way down. So one day, when I was at my grandparents' home spending the day with them, a beer commercial came on the tube. So what did my four-year-old little butt do? I marched right up to THEIR television and turned THEIR sound all the way down.
Another time, when I was eight years old, I was on a baseball team sponsored by Duffy's Pizza of Wilmington, NC [my hometown, lived there 35 years until December 2007]. So anyway, there was this old man who would sit in the dugout with us with a jug of water which he passed around to the boys so they wouldn't get too hot in the 100-degree temperatures with 100 percent humidity. Well, I knew this man drank alcohol, and I was SO paranoid about alcohol, I declined his offer of water from the jug, because I feared that he might have spiked it with some alcohol to give to us underage kids.
That's how extreme I grew up in the fundamentalist background.
Anyway, fast forward to my current situation ...
Some people would be sad, and would say I have fallen away to a point, but to me, these past 5-7 years have been some of the most enriching I have ever had in my life.
So now, I wonder what to do, going forward in my life with God.
I want to be pleasing to God.
But I also want to get along with people.
It's hard for me. I pray I can find this balance so I can have good relations.
Mate, what makes you so different to others? I bet if you talked to others, you will find that they are experiencing the same.
Mate, after 71 years of life, my life has been lonely to, like the other 260 million people around the world. This is life mate, and only you can change that life.
But, as sad as it, the enemy is always there stealing, destroying and killing anything that may resemble the CHURCH of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessings