Is there such a thing as trying TOO HARD to be a Christian?

[Questioning Christian]

I have noticed that when I have gone all-out for God in my life, that people seem turned away, and they make it socially uncomfortable for YOU because you made it socially uncomfortable for THEM. I noticed that I seemed to have more favor with people and got along with them better when I just lived my own life, and toned down the whole "serious Christian" thing somewhat.

This has been a hard journey for me to strike this balance between the earthly and the heavenly.

I mean, you WANT to live for God, but when you really go all out, it gets really hard for you. And what is mystifying to me is that Jesus lived all out for the Father, but the only people who gave him problems were his own disciples and the religious leaders. The large majority of people accepted him.

Then when you sit and think about that, you wonder, "Is there something wrong with my Christianity? Have I been taught wrong?"

Also, there is this disturbing trend I find that when I get more serious for God, more into the Bible, more attending church, more intense about spirituality, the more negative, angry, disappointed, and bitter I become, and I don't seem to be able to enjoy myself. I have had this problem all my life, and I only seemed to be able to enjoy myself in life a few years back when I became less spiritual and started becoming more earthly. I found that the more I was in church, the more I prayed, the more I read the Bible, et cetera, the more I became "on edge" with everyone and everything.

Now I find myself less spiritual, and I wish I was more spiritual with God without having all the negatives. Yes, at times I am negative now, but believe me, it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to be. When I was all up in it a few years back, I was very depressed and very down at times. I find it easier to forgive now than I used to. I find it easier to laugh, and I don't get offended now when people use profanity on TV or in the movies. I find things funny now whereas I used to look for a spiritual application in them.

I was raised in a fundamentalist household dad was a 4-year grad of BJU in 1971], and way back in the mid-to-late 1970's, when beer commercials would come on television, dad would turn the sound all the way down. So one day, when I was at my grandparents' home spending the day with them, a beer commercial came on the tube. So what did my four-year-old little butt do? I marched right up to THEIR television and turned THEIR sound all the way down.

Another time, when I was eight years old, I was on a baseball team sponsored by Duffy's Pizza of Wilmington, NC [my hometown, lived there 35 years until December 2007]. So anyway, there was this old man who would sit in the dugout with us with a jug of water which he passed around to the boys so they wouldn't get too hot in the 100-degree temperatures with 100 percent humidity. Well, I knew this man drank alcohol, and I was SO paranoid about alcohol, I declined his offer of water from the jug, because I feared that he might have spiked it with some alcohol to give to us underage kids.

That's how extreme I grew up in the fundamentalist background.

Anyway, fast forward to my current situation ...

Some people would be sad, and would say I have fallen away to a point, but to me, these past 5-7 years have been some of the most enriching I have ever had in my life.

So now, I wonder what to do, going forward in my life with God.

I want to be pleasing to God.

But I also want to get along with people.

It's hard for me. I pray I can find this balance so I can have good relations.

 

[Alpine]

Balance is important, at the same time I think there is some truth to the saying that sometimes we can be so heavenly minded, we’re no earthly good.

 

[Cassidy]

I'll never forget a movie I saw about Jesus...and although he lived 'all out' for God (as you put it)...he was also human. It was the most human portreyal I've seen of him. He was litterally playing around with the disciples and went to a fountain and they were splashing water...like "ha ha got ya" type thing. Not saying that Christ did behave this way...but why not? Why do people think that in order to live all out for God that we have to somehow come across like these buttoned up stiff people with no joy in their lives...everything serious and tut tutting about everything?

 

[whatfor]

Have got me thinking , thanks

 

[rob64]

I have noticed that when I have gone all-out for God in my life, that people seem turned away, and they make it socially uncomfortable for YOU because you made it socially uncomfortable for THEM. I noticed that I seemed to have more favor with people and got along with them better when I just lived my own life, and toned down the whole "serious Christian" thing somewhat.

This has been a hard journey for me to strike this balance between the earthly and the heavenly.

I mean, you WANT to live for God, but when you really go all out, it gets really hard for you. And what is mystifying to me is that Jesus lived all out for the Father, but the only people who gave him problems were his own disciples and the religious leaders. The large majority of people accepted him.

Then when you sit and think about that, you wonder, "Is there something wrong with my Christianity? Have I been taught wrong?"

Also, there is this disturbing trend I find that when I get more serious for God, more into the Bible, more attending church, more intense about spirituality, the more negative, angry, disappointed, and bitter I become, and I don't seem to be able to enjoy myself. I have had this problem all my life, and I only seemed to be able to enjoy myself in life a few years back when I became less spiritual and started becoming more earthly. I found that the more I was in church, the more I prayed, the more I read the Bible, et cetera, the more I became "on edge" with everyone and everything.

Now I find myself less spiritual, and I wish I was more spiritual with God without having all the negatives. Yes, at times I am negative now, but believe me, it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to be. When I was all up in it a few years back, I was very depressed and very down at times. I find it easier to forgive now than I used to. I find it easier to laugh, and I don't get offended now when people use profanity on TV or in the movies. I find things funny now whereas I used to look for a spiritual application in them.

I was raised in a fundamentalist household dad was a 4-year grad of BJU in 1971], and way back in the mid-to-late 1970's, when beer commercials would come on television, dad would turn the sound all the way down. So one day, when I was at my grandparents' home spending the day with them, a beer commercial came on the tube. So what did my four-year-old little butt do? I marched right up to THEIR television and turned THEIR sound all the way down.

Another time, when I was eight years old, I was on a baseball team sponsored by Duffy's Pizza of Wilmington, NC [my hometown, lived there 35 years until December 2007]. So anyway, there was this old man who would sit in the dugout with us with a jug of water which he passed around to the boys so they wouldn't get too hot in the 100-degree temperatures with 100 percent humidity. Well, I knew this man drank alcohol, and I was SO paranoid about alcohol, I declined his offer of water from the jug, because I feared that he might have spiked it with some alcohol to give to us underage kids.

That's how extreme I grew up in the fundamentalist background.

Anyway, fast forward to my current situation ...

Some people would be sad, and would say I have fallen away to a point, but to me, these past 5-7 years have been some of the most enriching I have ever had in my life.

So now, I wonder what to do, going forward in my life with God.

I want to be pleasing to God.

But I also want to get along with people.

It's hard for me. I pray I can find this balance so I can have good relations.

IMO;
Your, "can we try to hard" question doesn't actually fit what you are going through.

When we "try" to be a christian, is when we try to "clean up our own act".
Or attempt to make ourselves righteous.

Excluding your title, your post is describing the way you aren't letting your light shine. You're trying to "put it under a bushel"

When our light shines, the world will persecute us. And Jesus told us to "rejoice and be excedingly glad", when we are mocked, ridiculed, made fun of, ignored, beat up...

I went through a spell just like you're describing.
Do you find that you cant get along with anyone? That was me. It was everyone around me. They all had attitudes.

One day i was clashing with a christian friend and he said, "I used to be just like you, until I came to terms with the fact that my problem wasn't everyone else. My problem was ME."

So I humbled myself, and asked God to change me, because I sure couldn't do it.

Every once in a while it- pride, creeps back up and i rebuke it and everything's cool

 

[Optimax]

I believe "all out" is the way to do it.

Jesus said that persecutions would come.

We make sure that Love(caring about people) is above protecting our "all out way".

 

[GrapeGirl]

I think that people do try to be a Christian rather than just letting it come from the wellspring that the Father has put inside of them. When we "try to be a Christian", then in our human minds, we put life in terms of what we do or do not do or how we behave. We separate ourselves from the human race because, after all, it is "the world" and we are to not become as the world right? So whether or not we realize it, our mind is thinking in absolutes. Either all or nothing.

In the world = far from God
Completely separated from the world = close to God

Unfortunately, being separated from the world also means that we are separated from the people. Because people are in the world. Then we get the thought that we are "different" which in our minds, whether we realize it or not, equates to an appearance by the world of being smug and "holier than thou". That is the turn off. And the "world" wants someone it can relate to. Not someone to look at. They have role models in sports and entertainment and in daily life that let them down regularly. These are the people they place on the pedestals, who fall. They want someone who will identify with them. Everyone seeks a "soul mate", and they don't realize that the "soul mate' is Christ.....

But Christ is in you. That is why you have the desire to be with the people.

Just my thoughts.

 

[AudioArtist]

Also, there is this disturbing trend I find that when I get more serious for God, more into the Bible, more attending church, more intense about spirituality, the more negative, angry, disappointed, and bitter I become, and I don't seem to be able to enjoy myself. I have had this problem all my life, and I only seemed to be able to enjoy myself in life a few years back when I became less spiritual and started becoming more earthly. I found that the more I was in church, the more I prayed, the more I read the Bible, et cetera, the more I became "on edge" with everyone and everything.

Now I find myself less spiritual, and I wish I was more spiritual with God without having all the negatives. Yes, at times I am negative now, but believe me, it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to be. When I was all up in it a few years back, I was very depressed and very down at times. I find it easier to forgive now than I used to. I find it easier to laugh, and I don't get offended now when people use profanity on TV or in the movies. I find things funny now whereas I used to look for a spiritual application in them.

Even though I am younger than you, this seems to be a frighteningly accurate description of my own Christianity. I personally go through a week or weeks where I am very "intense" regarding God, and talk about Him all the time and get very excited about the possibilities of having a relationship with Him. I suppose it's a good thing - it's resulted in me knowing the Bible pretty much inside out, and Church history and theology and all that, and I do possibly hear from God during these periods. But, soon, I find it hard to relax in normal social situations, and I feel conflicted in the most basic circumstances between the "worldliness" of the moment and Christian spirituality. Then I begin to "sin" again, if I am honest - you know, bad habits, drinking, and "small" sins (if there is such a thing.) I wrote "sin" because I'm not sure all the things I regard as sin in those periods are actually sins, though some of them definitely are.

After this stage, I get guilty about the attitudes and actions I've started embracing, and try and get back to being faithful. And, once I am more obedient, I get frustrated with the whole process of Christianity, and I even wish that I cared less about God, because living without worrying about Him can seem easier (though, I know for sure that this is an illusion, because being away from Him ultimately ends up feeling far more shallow and empty and depressing than "trying too hard".) And this cycle goes round and round.... This obsession, followed by a falling away, followed by another obsession, followed by a falling away. I want God, and like you, I wish I could find a balance where, if I were to be relaxed, I wouldn't feel like I wasn't taking my faith seriously; where I was intense in the right way, where I heard from God, and where I was able to exist on this planet without overspiritualizing or underspiritualizing everything.

What would you suggest? I'm glad you're in a better place, but I'm not sure how I could get there. I think I am in a good place with God right now, but things are always changing....

 

[mandyjw]

I think that some people make their religion their "identity". For example I am a glass artist, that's my "identity" now. When I was a kid I was a good cross country runner. Those were things I depended on for my self esteem, they were what made or make me unique, they are what people know me for. I think everyone needs something like that.

I don't think God wants us to make Him our identity, I think he wants us to make him our life. He wants to live in us. It's a fine line. When God becomes our identity we get competitive about it. We think our God is the best, our God is the right God. That kind of sucks the love right out of fellowship with other believers, and makes it even harder to have relationships with people who aren't believers.

 

[cyberlizard]

when it comes to being a chrsitian it does not matter how hard you try, you are either a convert or you're not....

however, when it comes to being a disciple, trying hard is a very good thing... trying hard, working hard, showing discipline and putting in the training required are definately the signs of being a disciple.

convert and disciple are vastly different concepts.


Steve

p.s. I am both!

 

[KleinerApfel]

I think that people do try to be a Christian rather than just letting it come from the wellspring that the Father has put inside of them.

QC, you have regularly shown the heart of God since I've known you, and often spoken prophetically, encouraging many. We love you as you are, so don't go getting all religious on us now will you?

I didn't know that about your upbringing. Must be hard to begin to live free in Christ after that start. You're making a good journey brother.

 

[HoneyComb Son]

Hey all, I can relate to you all,

the last many years been a struggle

Though I have not been a christian all my life, I have struggled with legalism, and perfectionism, and with fear in obedience. so when I became a christian.this all transfered onto God and what i thought was what i had to do

...Though I was preached grace and love. i always felt i had to obey God and try hard. i didnt try too..but underneath..subconsciencely that is what i did.i tried to love obey God in my own strength..and it utterly failed..badly

you cannot try hard and be christian on your own strength.i know this now.its not about what you can do..its about what He can do..you or we cannot do crap without God and His changing power

I know this first hand, i was all about what I shouldnt do. I woud say to myself, oh i better stop this or that..cannot do this or that..Christianity became rules and laws to obey..it became dull and unfilliing always worrying what i could do wrong...
all this just strengthen sin inside of me..the more i tried to stop..the more i sinned.lol funny how laws and rules work

I fell away from God..still am to a degree..i fell away cause of this reason amongst others..but it was all cannots rules laws..etc..no fun being christian...over the years I began to realize..its not about rules and laws...not abou that at all...i realized i cannot overcome my sin or struggles in my own power.the flesh or my strength..I realized only God could truly change me inside in order to change the outside and wht i did...though now i would admit.there are few if not any changes..but inside something is happening


I realized..the more i tried to sin..the more i just fell..the more guilty and condemned i felt..how bad i sinned..then I realized..this gota stop..God forgives me..im still here.surely he must not be mad at me.im only human im trying..I realized he loves me as I am..even though i mess up.I am realizing maybe its not what I can or cannot do..but His grace.sure sin is evil and He hates it.and the sin in my life will end..but He sees a bigger picture..maybe the fear of punishmetn i dreaded of God.the blesssings i thought He wouldnt give me..was in fact..my fear of myself and how i could not attain my level I thought i should be at..What I thought he was at.Maybe God accepts me as I am..with the mess.and in time Through His power..He will change me inside.so I can do with His strength to stop sinning..


Maybe I should just have fun..dont worry about doing wrong.and enjoy life..even if i mess up..I beat if i dont worry or dweel on sinning..being sin conscience.i beat if i wake up.not worrying about all my problems..about sinning.and messing up.i bet il sin less..and wont give it power by trying to live by my own strength and by the law

that be my piece

God bless

 

[HoneyComb Son]

point of my thread is to show you..can relate and hope i can show a light to you all..that we really should stop worrying about what we do...God loves us..Yes we do gotta care if we do wrong..thats common sense.but I am saying..stop worrying about if ya sin or not.only give it power..tempting yourself

maybe we should just go have fun..i beat we sin less

 

[AudioArtist]

I find Philip Yancey helpful:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm3GGNg5SQk

 

[JimB]

How hard is it for me to be Caucasian or an American? I mean, either I am or I’m not.

Here is my favorite verse. I think it applies: for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phil. 2.13). God is helping us live for Him, one day at a time, one success or failure at a time we grow stronger and stronger, little-by-little, almost imperceptibly.

The problem comes when we try to be Mother Teresa all at once.

~Jim

Christianity without signs and wonders is just another religion.​

 

[loved33]

well...lots of opinions....Im sorry youve had so much pain, I really am. I guess Jesus is even sorrier since He died for liberty for all of us. beleive me, I have dutifully been as miserable as you in church. One thing I was forced to wake up to thru the suffering of trying, it came as a revelation-from God. Jesus' blood covers my sin, past , present, future.it doesnt give me license to sin...lets say,if im your friend, im not going to disrespect you or the friendship will suffer, there l be something unloving between us.i dont want to take advantage of you cos i love you. NOT BECAUSE IM SCARED OF YOU. until i realised the scripture, while we were yet sinners, he died for us. this scripture and john 3:16 speaks of something God has done FREE FREE FREE FREE OF CHARGE.
We can never earn it by being good enuf. We ve been adopted by a sweet loving father who wont abandon us, jesus has done all that needs to be done to earn our right to be adopted sons, co -heirs with Jesus. We are in a loving family. At home I kick my shoes off, lie on the sofa, sprawl out, eat crisps, watch tv shows i enjoy, with my dad. Im not worried if Im being a good daughter the whole time, unable to watch tv or eat cos of inner harrassment in my mind about have i tried to be a good daughter today.Ienjoy being with my dad, and sometimes we say nothing to each other, but we just know and trust the love that s there. The trouble with many churches is that they like the pharisees of jesus day , are pointing to do' s and dont's and law. the law is not what we live by....Jesus fullfilled the law, and then came to live in us, who simply beleive on him. So we seek to know Him in us, and be grateful he made us with gifts ,desires, preferences etc all so different. I heard a preacher say once-if youre not enjoying God then whats the point? That was when i started to be honest. I didnt like the pointing of the finger i heard so often at many pulpits-so sin focussed and trying to get people to improve their behaviour. i beleive if you hang around with someone wonderful, you start to become wonderful, you dont even notice the changes happening.love transforms.well...i beleive Jesus is the word, i can learn a lot about him thru the word ,the bible. when i see the bible as my window into knowing jesus intimately as a person , to enable my enjoyment of him and fellowship with him ...its nothing but a joy.he is the bridegroom and i love the bridegroom. but if i listen to the voice of religeon, accusing me and demanding i be better for God, im done for...i worry and I cant rest. religeon demands i be in love with the marriage certificate.The word says if you fall down in one part of the law, you are gulity of all of it. to hear some preachers who are sin focussed.......well .......we should pray for their eyes to be enlightened... i guess that is the blindness of being a pharisee. I think that s why Jesus spoke so harshly to them, or to the spirits ruling them, brood of vipers, whited walls....because they are bringing fear to the people and calling it God. As it says in the word, there is no fear in love. God is love. I beleive you are not backsliden, how can you be backsliden or separate from Jesus who you love and is in you? you became a new creature, one new man in union with him when you beleived? you have gotten out of religeon. It happened to me too. the trick is to praise Jesus for the blood , be thankful for the law of liberty and grace which he bought for you with the price of his blood....he bought you the space to be a child learning and being taught by a loving patient father. be glad that accusation is and never will be anything to do with our loving God.This good news Jesus said.... little kids can grasp it, its not hard, and kids loved being with Jesus.
Lets be-loved !and refuse fear at every turn. God will guide you to a good church where they understand that Jesus is the message, not crowd control or presenting lists of do s and donts shoulds and shouldnts.id never swaer in front of my mum- she s loved me and i know it would hurt her. relationship rules!! rules should never rule!! Thanks for your pic of abbot or is it costello, it really made me smile

 

[JimB]

I find Philip Yancey helpful:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm3GGNg5SQk

Thanx, for this AA.

~Jim

Christianity without signs and wonders is just another religion.​

 

[JimfromOhio]

I have learned in my almost 40 years as a Christian trying to understand what Jesus said: "If any man come to Me and hate not his own life, he cannot be My disciple." Over the years, I have learned to understand the true nature of the Christian life which is unpredictable and expanding called "sanctification". If we come to Christ primarily to find fulfillment or to escape from bad habits, Jesus may not be what we are looking for. Victory is the Holy Spirit convicted us and Christ is us, we all experience the power of the Holy Spirit to gain victory over sin, we may never attain total dominance over our drives and passions.

Having Jesus Christ inside you sanctifies us. Progressing in our sanctification and our spiritual growth and it only happens as we live in the environment of the truth and respond to that truth, and obey that truth, and avoid anything that diminishes our understanding of that truth or perverts that truth.

One of the heaviest problems in the Christian life is that of sanctification: how to become as pure as we know we ought to be and must be if we are to enjoy intimate communion with holy God. A.W. Tozer

It would be nice not to have any regrets. If I had no regrets, I would never grow. Pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes. When studying the Word, I have to be careful because my flesh is always searching for pleasure, pride, passions and selfish motives. Sinning by accident is part of our sinful nature because those who are in Christ Romans 7:18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Galatians 5:17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

I am learning that "holiness" is the balance between my nature and the law of God as expressed in Jesus Christ within me. True "sanctification" is only through the Holy Spirit who produce the evidence of my own true spiritual condition, humility and intimacy with God that my flesh CANNOT DO. We need to guard our minds, emotions, and wills, "bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). I will never be perfect as long as I live in my body which is why God's grace is more than sufficient.

In God's Grace that I have great spiritual and eternal freedom to grow. I have learned to understand that while God wants me to be Spirit-filled that God's desire that I should reflect His own holiness and goodness (not my own flesh's efforts).

 

[JimfromOhio]

I find Philip Yancey helpful:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm3GGNg5SQk

I like Philip Yancey.

 

[JimfromOhio]

How hard is it for me to be Caucasian or an American? I mean, either I am or I’m not.

Here is my favorite verse. I think it applies: for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phil. 2.13). God is helping us live for Him, one day at a time, one success or failure at a time we grow stronger and stronger, little-by-little, almost imperceptibly.

The problem comes when we try to be Mother Teresa all at once.

~Jim

Christianity without signs and wonders is just another religion.​

As we Christians are training for our spiritual growth, we look NOT AT our faith but in Christ of WHO we have faith in, who is THE author and finisher. "Let us run with patience the race that is set before us." (Hebrews 12:1). The Holy Spirit tells us to keep our eyes on Jesus not on others who are also running the race! There are important things each of us should know and understand about our struggles as the faithful people of God.