Is there such a thing as "Christian divorce?"

[HuntingMan]

If that's the choice I've got.
I guess I'd rather burn then put my little one through a divorce and broken family.

I guess Im different.
Id want my child raised by BOTH parents (male and female) and if the biological parent was a cheating, abusive neanderthal...a step parent would be the next best thing.

But I guess Im biased seeing that as a step parent myself, I did my best to raise three kids that werent mine because their pathetic father would have only damaged them beyond repair....and their mother wasnt much better of an influence.
My step daughter has told me many times that had I not been there for them, that she doesnt really think they had a chance since daddy was a drunken womanizer and mommy was a dope head who kept abandoning them with babysitters and disappearing for weeks and months at a time ( before I even married her I had to go get her kids a number of times from b babysitters she ditched them with who were threatening to call children services).

Step parents arent the end of the world for many kids. Many times they are better than the biological parent could ever be.
Course, thats not the truth in the case of the drunken barbarian step father who raised me. But he was my inspiration, tho, since I used everything he WAS to determine what I DIDNT want to be

 

[Verity.45]

So all those who have remarried after divorce,should divorce again, and then become single and celibate?

There are people who have.

 

[catlover]

If that's the choice I've got.
I guess I'd rather burn then put my little one through a divorce and broken family.

I think "broken family" is a bit unfair of a label...but I understand where you are coming from.

 

[HuntingMan]

There are people who have.

People that have the right to make that choice, for sure.

 

[catlover]

There are people who have.

...so those with children etc should divorce and uproot their family to satisfy your definition of Biblical?

 

[catlover]

I guess Im different.
Id want my child raised by BOTH parents (male and female) and if the biological parent was a cheating, abusive neanderthal...a step parent would be the next best thing.

But I guess Im biased seeing that as a step parent myself, I did my best to raise three kids that werent mine because their pathetic father would have only damaged them beyond repair....and their mother wasnt much better of an influence.
My step daughter has told me many times that had I not been there for them, that she doesnt really think they had a chance since daddy was a drunken womanizer and mommy was a dope head who kept abandoning them with babysitters and disappearing for weeks and months at a time ( before I even married her I had to go get her kids a number of times from b babysitters she ditched them with who were threatening to call children services).

Step parents arent the end of the world for many kids. Many times they are better than the biological parent could ever be.
Course, thats not the truth in the case of the drunken barbarian step father who raised me. But he was my inspiration, tho, since I used everything he WAS to determine what I DIDNT want to be

Yes...some men step in when the bio father cannot seem to act like a man...

 

[Verity.45]

...so those with children etc should divorce and uproot their family to satisfy your definition of Biblical?

The little ones that truly suffer are the ones of legitimate marriages
whose parents wouldn't / couldn't keep the family together, married
other people, and expect them (children) to 'adjust'. It doesn't
happen... they are scarred for life. God has GOOD reason for HATING
divorce (of legitimate marriages).

 

[HuntingMan]

The little ones that truly suffer are the ones of legitimate marriages
whose parents wouldn't / couldn't keep the family together, married
other people, and expect them (children) to 'adjust'. It doesn't
happen... they are scarred for life. God has GOOD reason for HATING
divorce (of legitimate marriages).

And do they dont "truly" suffer when the biological father is an abusive woman beating, child molesting drunk ?

Its very clear that this marriage martyr style doctrine tends to make the children and wives somewhat expendable as long as the 'legitimate marriage' is kept horribly intact.

Talk to my 3 step kids poster...they will flat out tell you that your views arent logical. MANY children are beaten and abused by their biological parents who literally WANT for them to divorce.

My wife was one who literally was RELIEVED when mommy packed up and left the family because of her abuse.
So please, stop presenting ONE side of the argument.....MANY children are abused who need to be taken away from their biological parent and a good step parent is lots of times the very thing that keeps their little lives together.

 

[catlover]

The little ones that truly suffer are the ones of legitimate marriages
whose parents wouldn't / couldn't keep the family together, married
other people, and expect them (children) to 'adjust'. It doesn't
happen... they are scarred for life. God has GOOD reason for HATING
divorce (of legitimate marriages).

There are children who have a better relationship with step parents than the bio...they sure do adjust -

 

[catlover]

And do they dont "truly" suffer when the biological father is an abusive woman beating, child molesting drunk ?

Its very clear that this marriage martyr style doctrine tends to make the children and wives somewhat expendable as long as the 'legitimate marriage' is kept horribly intact.

Talk to my 3 step kids poster...they will flat out tell you that your views arent logical. MANY children are beaten and abused by their biological parents who literally WANT for them to divorce.

My wife was one who literally was RELIEVED when mommy packed up and left the family because of her abuse.
So please, stop presenting ONE side of the argument.....MANY children are abused who need to be taken away from their biological parent and a good step parent is lots of times the very thing that keeps their little lives together.

True...sadly the family isn't such a safe idylic place as some want us to believe.

When a person is murdered, and if the deceased was married, there is a reason the police consider a spouse as the initial suspect...or when a child is missing the police first look at the parents...

 

[HuntingMan]

There are children who have a better relationship with step parents than the bio...they sure do adjust -

absolutely they do.
Its a complete absurdity to assume or assert that just because the biological parents divorce that kids are going to be scarred.
My wife says that the night her mother left the family her brother, her father and she were all very much relieved that she was gone because she had tormented them for years and is THE root of the emotional problems that Laura and I have been working on in her own life for a few years now.

Her dad didnt remarry but has been dating one woman for a long time and even at her worst shes 100 times better as a parent than Lauras biological mother was.

 

[HuntingMan]

True...sadly the family isn't such a safe idylic place as some want us to believe.

When a person is murdered, and if the deceased was married, there is a reason the police consider a spouse as the initial suspect...or when a child is missing the police first look at the parents...

Goodness, did you hear about the man who killed his own wife and children not too long ago over financial problems ?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081007/ap_on_re_us/bodies_found
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-106052

It doesnt take a STEP parent to make a bad father/husband, only circumstance.

 

[fated]

If Christ's relationship to us is our model for our marriages to each other, how could anyone justify divorcing their husband or wife for any reason? Jesus promised never to leave us or to be unfaithful. Why can't we do the same?
--dave

If there is a significant reason (such as getting beaten), one can divorce the other civilly. However, if both spouses had forever in mind and a clear mind at the time that they were married, then they will always be married in God's eyes.

There will be many people who make long complex arguments to the contrary, and who use quaint linguistic reasons, and also dance a two step around the Early Church Fathers, because it makes them feel better, because they are married, but, nonetheless, no one has the authority to separate validly married people.

 

[SpiritDriven]

If Christ's relationship to us is our model for our marriages to each other, how could anyone justify divorcing their husband or wife for any reason? Jesus promised never to leave us or to be unfaithful. Why can't we do the same?
--dave

Because we where flawed by design....notice when God reffered to his creation, he said it was...good... not perfect.

Our right standing with God is because of his sons obedience...not ours...his son was obedient even unto death on a Cross...on our behalf.

The Un Godly where justified at the Cross, for all time.

Peace

 

[HuntingMan]

If there is a significant reason (such as getting beaten), one can divorce the other civilly. However, if both spouses had forever in mind and a clear mind at the time that they were married, then they will always be married in God's eyes.

If BOTH spouses could do this, and I wish it were the case, then there would never have been divorce in the first place.
Sadly even if ONE spouse is trying everything to save a marriage the other can be running headlong towards destruction and there isnt a thing the one can do about it.

There will be many people who make long complex arguments to the contrary,

I dont think anyone here is ignorant enough to argue against the logical and obvious.
YOU said 'IF BOTH SPOUSES..." and to that we absolutely agree !
In many marriages BOTH spouses ARENT doing as you state, but only one....it DOES take two to dance...ONE can walk away from the dance.

and who use quaint linguistic reasons, and also dance a two step around the Early Church Fathers,

oh please...stop acting like the ECFs agreed on everything..they didnt. They couldnt agree on many areas of doctrine and if you are a protestant youd better rethink it because many of them taught pennance and confession. But I guess some dont want to hear that part.

because it makes them feel better, because they are married, but, nonetheless, no one has the authority to separate validly married people.

Sure they do or Paul and Christ BOTH were liars.

READERS SEE->Click->>> "Let not man Put Asunder" vs "let the unbeliever depart"

Mat 5:32 But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery*. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.

Mat 19:9 And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.​

It would seem that WE arent the ones ignoring detail.
But then WE dont put our faith in fallible EFCs either, but in Christ and His CHOSEN apostles (ie the ones who are canonized in Gods word)

 

[fated]

If BOTH spouses could do this, and I wish it were the case, then there would never have been divorce in the first place.
Sadly even if ONE spouse is trying everything to save a marriage the other can be running headlong towards destruction and there isnt a thing the one can do about it.


I dont think anyone here is ignorant enough to argue against the logical and obvious.
YOU said 'IF BOTH SPOUSES..." and to that we absolutely agree !
In many marriages BOTH spouses ARENT doing as you state, but only one....it DOES take two to dance...ONE can walk away from the dance.

oh please...stop acting like the ECFs agreed on everything..they didnt. They couldnt agree on many areas of doctrine and if you are a protestant youd better rethink it because many of them taught pennance and confession. But I guess some dont want to hear that part.
Sure they do or Paul and Christ BOTH were liars.

READERS SEE->Click->>> "Let not man Put Asunder" vs "let the unbeliever depart"

Mat 5:32 But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery*. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.

Mat 19:9 And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.​

It would seem that WE arent the ones ignoring detail.
But then WE dont put our faith in fallible EFCs either, but in Christ and His CHOSEN apostles (ie the ones who are canonized in Gods word)

You said: "Cheat to get a divorce."

 

[HuntingMan]

You said: "Cheat to get a divorce."

huh....
See, *I* dont REMEMBER saying that...so maybe you ought to quit bearing false witness.
Course I understand the necessity of those of your doctrine to pull this sort of stunt for shock value...
Maybe a moderator could look at my posts and SEE if I actually SAID what you are claiming or not

....nonetheless, no one has the authority to separate validly married people.

Sure they do or Paul and Christ BOTH were liars.

READERS SEE->Click->>> "Let not man Put Asunder" vs "let the unbeliever depart"

Mat 5:32 But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery*. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.

Mat 19:9 And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.​

 

[fated]

huh....
See, *I* dont REMEMBER saying that...so maybe you ought to quit bearing false witness.
Course I understand the necessity of those of your doctrine to pull this sort of stunt for shock value...
Maybe a moderator could look at my posts and SEE if I actually SAID what you are claiming or not

No, your interpretation of the Scriptures is:

"Cheat to get a divorce."

Which is wrong, of course.

 

[HuntingMan]

No, your interpretation of the Scriptures is:

"Cheat to get a divorce."

Which is wrong, of course.

Then from now on state it accurately that YOU believe my interpretation is such...dont claim I said something I didnt.

And your understanding of my view makes God an moron who doesnt know that someone is ABUSING Christs exception ....do you actually believe God doesnt KNOW if someone is doing so, poster?

You and I have done this before fated....are you ready for another round ?

 

[SealedEternal]

...so those with children etc should divorce and uproot their family to satisfy your definition of Biblical?

No, they should repent of what Jesus defines as an extramarital affair and make Him their Lord:

Mark 10: 6-12 "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He *said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

Luke 16:18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.”

If God says that "everyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery", then the second so-called "marriage" is nothing more than an extramarital affair being committed by a person who was under the delusion that they could separate what God had joined, but clearly couldn't:

Matthew 19:4-6 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

If divorce could separate the marriage bond, then clearly those who did so couldn't be committing adultery to marry someone else, but Jesus says it is. Therefore those who think they have "divorced" and "remarried" are deceiving themselves and are involved in adulterous affairs:

Exodus 20:14 "You shall not commit adultery."

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? DO NOT BE DECEIVED; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such WERE some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

SealedEternal