“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’
And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went.
And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go.
Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. -Matt 21:28-31
No sin can withstand the cleansing power of the blood of Christ, the perfect sacrifice. That blood has enough power to save the entire human race and redeem the fallen world. All that is required is that we repent of our rebellion and turn to Him in faith:
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Heb 11:6
It sounds like you are already sorry for your sin. Now turn to God in faith and receive forgiveness and cleansing.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. -1John 1:8-10
There are two kinds of sorrow. That of the world tears down, but sorrow mixed with faith leads to repentance:
For even though I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it. Because, I perceive that the same letter made you sorry, though only for a season.
Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. Because you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing.
For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.
For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: Yes what diligence it produced in you, Yes what clearing of yourselves, Yes what indignation, Yes what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you have proven yourselves to be clear in this matter.
-2Cor 7:8-11
The Father is not willing that ANY should perish. Don't be a statistic. There is hope in Christ. Rise up in faith and draw near to the throne of grace, for help in time of need.