Is there anyone there?

Michie · Jul 16, 2016

Still praying angelica. I hope this situation continues to improve.

anjelica said:
Thankyou all. We are going back to our old Church, the other Church in the town, which is actually our own parish Church. Spoken to priest. He wants us all to put everything behind us and we want that too. It does not mean that either he or that Church will help us. Mit just means that at that Church there is somewhere for us to actually sit. Mournplaces at the frone are waiting for us he said. Still lots to be desired, but at least we have a N
Mass to go to.

Lits else happening and Inreached an all time low yesterday and this morning, plus was in a LOT of phtsical pain. I guess at least it made me sort out with our old priest so at least we can go to Mass. All we can do is be with, and stay with God. At least they have Adoration at this Church which they dont at thenother. Atnleast i can be silent with God there. He will see me through. Thenpriest has been told about my dire state of heakth and my almost total lossmof eyesight now. I am at peace now

Winter · Jul 16, 2016

s_gunter said:
Me too! Hehehe! Two angry US Southern American women wreaking havoc in Britain on anjelica's behalf... Anyone wanna place bets on how long it'll take before we're thrown out of the country?

I'll join you both. Throw this New Yorker in the mix and there will be a volcanic eruption!

Winter · Jul 16, 2016

anjelica said:
Thankyou all. We are going back to our old Church, the other Church in the town, which is actually our own parish Church. Spoken to priest. He wants us all to put everything behind us and we want that too. It does not mean that either he or that Church will help us. Mit just means that at that Church there is somewhere for us to actually sit. Mournplaces at the frone are waiting for us he said. Still lots to be desired, but at least we have a N
Mass to go to.

Lits else happening and Inreached an all time low yesterday and this morning, plus was in a LOT of phtsical pain. I guess at least it made me sort out with our old priest so at least we can go to Mass. All we can do is be with, and stay with God. At least they have Adoration at this Church which they dont at thenother. Atnleast i can be silent with God there. He will see me through. Thenpriest has been told about my dire state of heakth and my almost total lossmof eyesight now. I am at peace now

I'm glad the situation with your church was settled. You've been through so much. Something's gotta give. May Lord have mercy.

Anhelyna · Jul 16, 2016

She's not out of the woods yet - this is the Church where access is very difficult - limited parking and heavy doors into the Church

benedictaoo · Jul 16, 2016

Let me ask a question. If someone in a wheelchair can not open a door, another person doesn't open it for them? People over there just walk past someone struggling?

Anhelyna · Jul 16, 2016

They just don't seem to notice them - I don't understand it either

benedictaoo · Jul 16, 2016

Like in general or just Angelica?

Anhelyna · Jul 16, 2016

Can't answer that one since I'm about 300 miles away

The problem is , that if there's no one arriving at the same time as them - how do they get help to actually enter the Church ?

Stabat Mater dolorosa · Jul 16, 2016

I'm as surprised as you R Bene.
In Norway this rarely occurs.

anjelica · Jul 16, 2016

It often happens that ppl arrive just before us, see hubby putting our wheelchairs together, they go in and jyst let the doors clise to. They do not wait for us or wedge them open.

What we do is - hubby goes to the first set of doors, opens them and has to find the wedge ( which often goes missing!) and wedges open the right hadnd one. He then wheels himself forwards to the next set which we provided a tall doorstop for, but no one puts it against the right hand side door for us. Hubby has to do it himself. He wedges it open, by which time quite often the first set have bliwn to again. So he backs up, opens them, and holds them open for me, as I cant hold them.

Once through those doors there are two more sets, but they are easier because they are further apart and more space to manouvre. Hubby holds open the first set for me with his right hand, and I go,through, then he holds open the final set for me by which time we are knackered LOL.

We then wheel to the front of the Church where they ALWAYS take a pew out for us. Nthey are OUR places, unlike the other Church where there are no places now except right at the very back, which is no good for us in a 600 strong congregation on a Sunday morning.

At our old Church I CAN do the doors myself, by putting my left hand on my joy stick, which makes the chair gomforwatds, then holding the foor open with my right hand. It works but often the door goes back onto me. But I like to try and do it because I like to be as independent as possible.

Occasionally people will hold one set of doors for us, but not all of them.

Hubby used to ask thenpriest to at least put the door stop thatnWE purchased, against the second set of doors, when ge unlicked the Church. But he never remembered to do it.

At the other Church we still had to open twosets of doors, and on the first set, behind us was a flight of about four steps which we couldbeasily fall down, esp ne, being almost blind. We asked if WE could paint the edges of the steps bright tellow omthey were more viible but the priest did not offer to get someone to paint them for us. Nthenpaint is very very expensive, so we did not do it in the end.

Do not ask me why, concerning all of this.

All we have gained is a place in the Church to sit. Nothing else. But that is like gold to us.

The Church of England, where I went in tears the other Sunday,nguided me in, held the doors for me, put a chair next to me and a lady say by mem gelping me through the Service. Themvicar,Jonathan, gave me time to talk. He cared.

Oh I know. I should not go there. So thatnis why I am returning to my old Church.

anjelica · Jul 16, 2016

Women with pushchairs (strollers) cannot easily get in through the Catholuc Church doors either, but at least they can walk. But no one helps them either. I do not know about other wheekchair users as they are all pushed by someone else. Min fact, the more I think about it now, the more upset Inget and now am wondering whether to go back or not!

anjelica · Jul 16, 2016

You see, everyone else has someone able bodied with them. We are both in wheelchairs. We get ribbed etc. Which hurts us. Wwe had to try and ignore it though or we would have gone mad with hurt.

anjelica · Jul 16, 2016

I have to tell you also though that whilst we were out today, things darkened even more. Eyesight wise I mean. Now,I cannot even see cars right next to us on thebroadside, and everything is grey. I can see shapes looming at the roadside, which are trees, and even as we drive by them, very close I cannot see them, except as amkind of dark grey, almosy black mass. I realise my eyesight is going quickly now. I am not scared. I am at total peace

benedictaoo · Jul 16, 2016

anjelica said:
I have to tell you also though that whilst we were out today, things darkened even more. Eyesight wise I mean. Now,I cannot even see cars right next to us on thebroadside, and everything is grey. I can see shapes looming at the roadside, which are trees, and even as we drive by them, very close I cannot see them, except as amkind of dark grey, almosy black mass. I realise my eyesight is going quickly now. I am not scared. I am at total peace

benedictaoo · Jul 16, 2016

anjelica said:
Women with pushchairs (strollers) cannot easily get in through the Catholuc Church doors either, but at least they can walk. But no one helps them either. I do not know about other wheekchair users as they are all pushed by someone else. Min fact, the more I think about it now, the more upset Inget and now am wondering whether to go back or not!

Pardon me, but what in the bleep is wrong with the people over there? Some people can be jerks not to help a handicapped person but in general, people help and its not in Church, it anywhere. To not help when you are at Church a woman with a baby or a handicapped person is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard.

anjelica · Jul 16, 2016

Too true bene. But you know, in general society, the most unimaginable ppl help, like guys who look really really tough with tatoos and dead dead rough and tough looking. But they come and offer help. It is akways them who do it. Go figure!

At the end of the day, despite the problems, my downfall of this past week was because I was not able to keep my pattern for each day, starting with Mass, and being with God in Zmass. Once that went out of the window so does everything else because I am totally reliant on Him for dealing with this lot. It is only when i rest in God that i can feel peace over my eyesight

Fantine · Jul 17, 2016

I am praying that Social Services will find you different housing in a supportive atmosphere such as assisted living where you will be in a caring community.

I hope that you can get software that will allow you to communicate with others online so that you will continue to have that source of support. Dragon Speak is a voice recognition program that will turn your words into text. I am sure that once you are on your own that you will be able to start using the adaptive aids your husband is keeping from you.

It is sad that the members of your church community are "blind" to your disability. I am sure that they don't mean to be unkind.

How we take things like our vision for granted, and aren't as observant as we need to be when there are people nearby who need our companionship or assistance.

anjelica · Jul 17, 2016

I will remeber that software Fantine.

Over the past week my husband has got better. I don't want to explain as I do not wish to go into the leave, don't leave thing. It gets cruel.

We wish to stay in our own house that we have worked for all our lives. We do not wish to go into sheltered accommodation. We simply need the means for insependent luving, which our country advocates. We are people, not things. We have brains and I am a very very confident, outgoingmperson but I will not gomthere right now. I am ME. I will NOT be fixed into any category or anybody's definition of me.
We did not manage to get to our old Church this morning, because itstarts very early. So we did try to go to the other one. It went badly.

We know now that there is no point in trying to pursue it there any more. We MUST try to get to our oldnone.

My husband is writing to the Bishop about this total lack of caring for disabled people. It is not only us - others feel it too.

We had a dreadful time this morning

Winter · Jul 17, 2016

I just can't understand why the priest doesn't ask a parishoner, or the deacon, or the organist, or the altar server, ANYONE really, to volunteer to be on the lookout for you and your husband on Sundays. Then they could assist you with the doors and help you with any other accomodation. I just don't get it. Its a simple request. A simple thing to do. All he has to do is ask a parishoner to volunteer to do this.

Going to church should not cause you unhappiness. This isn't the way its supposed to be. This isn't what God wants. Praying that something will work for you.

anjelica · Jul 17, 2016

Please do not worry about us any more. It is as it is. We are a different country. Nthings do not work the same here. I am not going to continue to state what is happening or what goes on. I cannot help this. I need rest from this becausenit only hurts all the more when it gets rubbed in. Priests here are maybe not the same. They are used to ppl in wheelchairs having someone else to push them. They are not used to having a husband and wife in a wheelchair, thus needing exta help. Additionally they are not used to someone in a wherkchair being blind also. ,so they do not appreciate things or the suffering or whatnis needed. Come here. Come to my two parishes. See for yourselves. You will see that it is all TRUE. Not understanding does not help. It makes me feel bad, as though I am lying. I do not understandnour priests either. Ut hurts. I just have to deal with it, knowing that things are better elsewhere. Mimfeel isolated enough as it is. I am suffering. Lets leave it at that. Our priests are as they are. They should make an announcement, otmput it in the Newsletter, but they will not. That is not my fault. It is their chouce. I am doinfg what I can and I am exhausted with struggling. I am giving up

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