Is the average Adventist going to freak out at a sizeable whisky collection?

[BlackSabb]

Hi everyone. I couldn't help but notice the other thread about alcohol and I thought I'd put in one too. I've just started a new hobby from this year-whisky collecting (and drinking). Don't worry, I'm not a raving alcohol, not even an occasional alcoholic. I've never had problems with controlling alcohol. But I have gotten into fine single malt Scotch whisky.

I'm building up a collection which I'm using to display on top of my buffet, along with the canisters. To me, it's an elegant and classy display. Here are 2 pictures:


Picasa Web Albums - Priya - Tomy


Those pictures haven't been updated too. They show 1 row of 5 whisky bottles and canisters. Now, there are 7 bottles of whisky and canisters, plus another row in front of that consisting of 2 bottles and canisters. So the actual display looks a lot fuller than in those pictures. So I have almost double the amount now than what you see in those photos, and it looks like a little bar-a look that I like.


The inlaws are traditional Adventists. And so I was wondering are they likely to be offended at such an obvious display? I really don't feel like having to modify my home to suit different people when they come over-as nobody modifies their home for me. But I don't want to be antagonistic or offensive either.

So, if they are likely to be deeply offended, what do you suggest I do without having me feel like I'm a door mat to everyone?

 

[Byfaithalone1]

Hi everyone. I couldn't help but notice the other thread about alcohol and I thought I'd put in one too. I've just started a new hobby from this year-whisky collecting (and drinking). Don't worry, I'm not a raving alcohol, not even an occasional alcoholic. I've never had problems with controlling alcohol. But I have gotten into fine single malt Scotch whisky.

I'm building up a collection which I'm using to display on top of my buffet, along with the canisters. To me, it's an elegant and classy display. Here are 2 pictures:


Picasa Web Albums - Priya - Tomy


Those pictures haven't been updated too. They show 1 row of 5 whisky bottles and canisters. Now, there are 7 bottles of whisky and canisters, plus another row in front of that consisting of 2 bottles and canisters. So the actual display looks a lot fuller than in those pictures. So I have almost double the amount now than what you see in those photos, and it looks like a little bar-a look that I like.


The inlaws are traditional Adventists. And so I was wondering are they likely to be offended at such an obvious display? I really don't feel like having to modify my home to suit different people when they come over-as nobody modifies their home for me. But I don't want to be antagonistic or offensive either.

So, if they are likely to be deeply offended, what do you suggest I do without having me feel like I'm a door mat to everyone?

Your question begs a subjective answer, so I'll offer my opinion as one guy with a subjective answer. I'm sure that others will view your situation differently than I do.

In my opinion, honoring our parents does not mean that we will never make decisions with which our parents will disagree. For example, if your parents were cannibals you might rightly decide not to adopt their preferred lifestyle. In doing so, you have not dishonored your parents. Rather, you have been true to that which you believe is right.

I see a similar dynamic in play in your post. It seems that you have concluded that it is appropriate for you to consume alcohol in moderation. With this in view, you must decide how to follow your convictions while honoring your abstaining parents. In my mind, the answer is not to tiptoe around the elephant in the room and pretend that you follow abstinence when in fact you do not. Therefore, it seems appropriate for you to decorate your home and live your life with transparency. I cannot see any real value in hiding.

For me, you would cross the line into dishonoring your parents if you began to ridicule them for their beliefs regarding abstinence, if you were to seek to coerce them into joining you by sharing a glass of whiskey or if you were to invite them to a drunken party. For me, such actions would not bring honor to your parents.

In my opinion, the approach that you have suggested brings no dishonor to your parents and is honest and straightforward. As an adult, your duty is to honor your parents, not to obey every wish that they have for you.

Just my $.02,
BFA

 

[Avonia]

The inlaws are traditional Adventists. And so I was wondering are they likely to be offended at such an obvious display?

It's likely they will be uncomfortable.

I really don't feel like having to modify my home to suit different people when they come over-as nobody modifies their home for me. But I don't want to be antagonistic or offensive either.

So, if they are likely to be deeply offended, what do you suggest I do without having me feel like I'm a door mat to everyone?

Move it. This doesn't make you a door mat - this makes you intelligent. If only for the selfish reason that you will be way ahead by moving it.

 

[BlackSabb]

I knew this was going to be a difficult question as I've gotten so far 2 responses that are completely different. Btw, Faithalone1, the Adventists are my wife's parents-not mine.

I've had them over my home many times and I certainly haven't moved my collection of hard rock cds-especially Black Sabbath. But then again, that doesn't stand out anything like this whisky collection.

I really don't like having to move my collection every time some Adventist relation comes over. I feel like I have no authority in my own home when I do that. And no one else adjusts their home for me. I don't ask them to do it either and wouldn't expect it. I just ask for the same when in my home. That means no formal Sabbath observance with no restrictions on activites of myself and my wife. That includes watching tv, listening to music, using the computer, working around the house, shopping etc.

I just feel that a man should be the master of his own domain. And you are not the master of your own domain when adjusting it for others. That is a slave, not a master, to everyone else. So far, I can't see any way out other than they're going to have to put up with it-like it or not, when they come over. I don't do it deliberately to offend but something I genuinely enjoy.

So perhaps offense is inevitable.

But I do make some compromises. I would never eat pork, prawns etc in front of them in my own home. And when we go out to dinner together, I never order anything that they would find uncomfortable in front of them. I would never drink in front of them, even in my own home. And I never play any hard rock in front of them in my own home. I feel that these compromises are fair and reasonable and is meeting them halfway. They will be in the presence of alcohol in my own home but they'll never see it being consumed.

But hiding something is like denying it. And I am not ashamed of what I do for I know that I am not a drunkard.

 

[JonMiller]

To be part of polite society you allow others to inconvenience you, you adjust yourself for others. This could be as simple as putting on clothes, or following certain traffic laws, or even not expanding your house into your neighbors property.

If you didn't adjust yourself for others, you would be in jail right now.

The question is how far do you go? What line do you make. That is up for you to decide and not me.

BTW, I also like Whiskey, and in the past had several bottles. As part of drinking less/etc, I no longer have any with me and just get it on the occasions (usually rare, but recently once a week) where I go to a bar.

No adventist has visited my home in many years, btw, before I get someone thinking it is that. I also am open about the fact that I drink in adventist circles, although I don't shove it in anyones face (I say that I do if asked, or if it is natural, but don't go around announcing that I do).

My most expensive bottles were a bottle of Talisker and a bottle of Gentleman's Jack. I didn't think the Gentleman's Jack was worth it but the Talisker was. Mostly that stuff was too expensive for me, and I kept to bottles of Jameson, Johnny Walker Black, Makers Mark, and Knobb Creek (and earlier, Crown Royal).

I also completely disagree with those who drink good whiskey on the rocks or with water.

JM

 

[JonMiller]

It's likely they will be uncomfortable.



Move it. This doesn't make you a door mat - this makes you intelligent. If only for the selfish reason that you will be way ahead by moving it.

Personally I don't think that alcohol collections displayed like that are very classy.

I am not up on what is classy though!

JM

 

[Byfaithalone1]

I knew this was going to be a difficult question as I've gotten so far 2 responses that are completely different. Btw, Faithalone1, the Adventists are my wife's parents-not mine.

I've had them over my home many times and I certainly haven't moved my collection of hard rock cds-especially Black Sabbath. But then again, that doesn't stand out anything like this whisky collection.

I really don't like having to move my collection every time some Adventist relation comes over. I feel like I have no authority in my own home when I do that. And no one else adjusts their home for me. I don't ask them to do it either and wouldn't expect it. I just ask for the same when in my home. That means no formal Sabbath observance with no restrictions on activites of myself and my wife. That includes watching tv, listening to music, using the computer, working around the house, shopping etc.

I just feel that a man should be the master of his own domain. And you are not the master of your own domain when adjusting it for others. That is a slave, not a master, to everyone else. So far, I can't see any way out other than they're going to have to put up with it-like it or not, when they come over. I don't do it deliberately to offend but something I genuinely enjoy.

So perhaps offense is inevitable.

But I do make some compromises. I would never eat pork, prawns etc in front of them in my own home. And when we go out to dinner together, I never order anything that they would find uncomfortable in front of them. I would never drink in front of them, even in my own home. And I never play any hard rock in front of them in my own home. I feel that these compromises are fair and reasonable and is meeting them halfway. They will be in the presence of alcohol in my own home but they'll never see it being consumed.

But hiding something is like denying it. And I am not ashamed of what I do for I know that I am not a drunkard.

It sounds as though you are well on your way toward developing your own approach to this subject.

For the sake of discussion, I offer the following questions as food for thought:

(1) If you went to the home of an SDA who is a strict vegan vegetarian, would he cook you a steak in the interest of being an honorable host?

(2) If on a Saturday you went to the home of an SDA who believes it is sinful to watch television on the sabbath, would you expect the SDA to allow you to turn the TV on to check the latest football or basketball score?

(3) If you went to the home of an SDA, would you expect the SDA host to play Black Sabbath because he knows that you enjoy it?
​

As you contemplate these questions, you will begin to notice the double standard that may exist in certain circles. As a non-SDA, you may be expected to put away your rock CDs and your whiskey bottles. However, one might wonder whether similar accommodations would be made for your visits. I agree with you that hiding is like denying. The elephant will be in the room whether you acknowledge it or not.

Just the opinion of one guy who doesn't know much about anything . . . . .

BFA

 

[Avonia]

I knew this was going to be a difficult question as I've gotten so far 2 responses that are completely different.

The response that BFA gave you and the one I gave are complementary - they are not in competition. Both present an aspect of truth in the matter.

Maybe you can get slipcovers that turn all of your Scotch into sparkling grape juice bottles.

 

[BlackSabb]

BTW, I also like Whiskey, and in the past had several bottles. As part of drinking less/etc, I no longer have any with me and just get it on the occasions (usually rare, but recently once a week) where I go to a bar.

No adventist has visited my home in many years, btw, before I get someone thinking it is that. I also am open about the fact that I drink in adventist circles, although I don't shove it in anyones face (I say that I do if asked, or if it is natural, but don't go around announcing that I do).

My most expensive bottles were a bottle of Talisker and a bottle of Gentleman's Jack. I didn't think the Gentleman's Jack was worth it but the Talisker was. Mostly that stuff was too expensive for me, and I kept to bottles of Jameson, Johnny Walker Black, Makers Mark, and Knobb Creek (and earlier, Crown Royal).

I also completely disagree with those who drink good whiskey on the rocks or with water.

JM

Well it's good to see an Adventist that appreciates a drop of Scotch! I also have a bottle of Talisker (10yrs). And I'm totally with you about the water. I always drink whisky neat, even higher alcohol strength whisky. To me, adding water completely disrupts the delicate balance of flavours that have been carefully melded together, and the whisky becomes overpowering and pungent, dominated by raw flavours. I've never understood adding water or ice either.

For the sake of discussion, I offer the following questions as food for thought:

(1) If you went to the home of an SDA who is a strict vegan vegetarian, would he cook you a steak in the interest of being an honorable host?

(2) If on a Saturday you went to the home of an SDA who believes it is sinful to watch television on the sabbath, would you expect the SDA to allow you to turn the TV on to check the latest football or basketball score?

(3) If you went to the home of an SDA, would you expect the SDA host to play Black Sabbath because he knows that you enjoy it?
​

As you contemplate these questions, you will begin to notice the double standard that may exist in certain circles. As a non-SDA, you may be expected to put away your rock CDs and your whiskey bottles. However, one might wonder whether similar accommodations would be made for your visits.

You know, that is just so true! Often religious people expect non religious people to accomodate them, but it's never the other way around. I was at a family barbeque once years ago and a big batch of those Sanitarium vegetarian sausages were cooked on the grill. Everybody knew I don't eat those but instead, real sausages. But no accomodation was made for me, even though such things as chicken sausages could have been bought for me, something that they would have had no religious objection to.

So that settles it for me. I adhere to the conventions of other people in their homes, they're just going to have to lump it in mine. And as I say, I do far more accomodating for them than they do for me. As I don't play my music in front of them, eat pork or prawns in front of them etc. But I strictly stop at observing tv, radio etc silence for their Sabbath. That's just taking it too far in my opinion.

So thanks. That's all I wanted to know. The whisky collection stays and if it offends, you can always leave. My home is my castle.