Is she marriage material?

[Michie]

We hear plenty in America about whether or not a man is “marriage material.” But no one ever asks what makes a woman marriage material.

Seems to me that’s the more pertinent question since women are the ones who bow out of marriage the most.

Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives who use the all-encompassing umbrella of “irreconcilable differences” to get out of an abuse-free marriage.

If you’re a man who wants to avoid this fate, the best way to do so is to pay close attention to what a woman says and does when you’re dating her.

For instance, does she talk about never having or wanting to depend on you financially? That’s a sign she doesn’t trust men, or she doesn’t trust you. Both are bad.

Does she talk excessively about her career and sideline the discussion of family? That will tell you her priorities.

Does she espouse sexual equality? That will let you know she has fallen for feminist propaganda, which will not bode well for your marriage. Sexual differences, not sexual sameness, is what makes marriage work.

Does she talk warmly about children or does it sound like she’s trying to fit them in to her otherwise more important life? This will tell you whether or not she’s maternal.

Lastly, be wary of the woman whose relationship with her father has been impaired in some way. If she does not talk well of him, this is where her inability to trust men emanates and it will show up in your marriage in a thousand ways. (I’m not suggesting you not marry her over this, only that she recognizes it as a problem and is open to dealing with it).

Continued below.

Is she marriage material? - Suzanne Venker

Suzanne is an author and Relationship Coach committed to keeping relationships and families strong.

www.suzannevenker.com

 

[ZephBonkerer]

These could be useful as general guidelines, but I would be careful in applying them.

Regarding "equality", I would ask her what kind of equality she had in mind. That one word can have a whole host of meanings depending on context. Equal in what regard? Respect? Esteem? Monetary?

I would ask her why she wants children. It could be that she doesn't really want children, and there's nothing sinful about that per se. If she appears to want children for inappropriate reasons, then I would worry.

Regarding her father, some people have the misfortune of having deeply toxic parents. That's not her fault if such is the case. I never met my birth father, and that is a good thing. If I did, there's a chance I might have done something to him that would land me on death row. Though he would deeply deserve it for his abuse of my then-teenage mother, judges and juries aren't sympathetic to those who mete out justice on their own terms. (As a side note: he died broke and alone, mourned by no one. As far as justice goes, that works for me.)

 

[Diamond7]

Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives who use the all-encompassing umbrella of “irreconcilable differences” to get out of an abuse-free marriage.

Sins of omission are just as bad as sins of commission. It is a catch-22 because the man has to go to work while the woman takes care of the children. So she can accuse him of neglect. He was so busy putting a roof over her head, food on the table, and shoes on her feet so that he did not pay any attention to her emotional needs.

There are women that will stick by their man, no matter what. First time I met one I was amazed. She was devoted to her husband and family. Even he was an alcoholic and a womanizer. All she wanted was for him to come home and spend time with her. She was a beautiful woman too. I could not figure out why he did not treat her better.

Lastly, be wary of the woman whose relationship with her father has been impaired in some way.

There are women who have to deal with abandonment. They look for a father figure. We see this with men who will have up to 16 children with three or four women. He may be close to some of his daughters but a lot of them do not feel close to him at all and they are out looking for a daddy figure in a man. Someone to father them a bit.

 

[Diamond7]

But no one ever asks what makes a woman marriage material.

Solomon tells us in the Bible. Most women do not even come close. My wife does though.