- Feb 5, 2002
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We hear plenty in America about whether or not a man is “marriage material.” But no one ever asks what makes a woman marriage material.
Seems to me that’s the more pertinent question since women are the ones who bow out of marriage the most.
Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives who use the all-encompassing umbrella of “irreconcilable differences” to get out of an abuse-free marriage.
If you’re a man who wants to avoid this fate, the best way to do so is to pay close attention to what a woman says and does when you’re dating her.
For instance, does she talk about never having or wanting to depend on you financially? That’s a sign she doesn’t trust men, or she doesn’t trust you. Both are bad.
Does she talk excessively about her career and sideline the discussion of family? That will tell you her priorities.
Does she espouse sexual equality? That will let you know she has fallen for feminist propaganda, which will not bode well for your marriage. Sexual differences, not sexual sameness, is what makes marriage work.
Does she talk warmly about children or does it sound like she’s trying to fit them in to her otherwise more important life? This will tell you whether or not she’s maternal.
Lastly, be wary of the woman whose relationship with her father has been impaired in some way. If she does not talk well of him, this is where her inability to trust men emanates and it will show up in your marriage in a thousand ways. (I’m not suggesting you not marry her over this, only that she recognizes it as a problem and is open to dealing with it).
Continued below.
Seems to me that’s the more pertinent question since women are the ones who bow out of marriage the most.
Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives who use the all-encompassing umbrella of “irreconcilable differences” to get out of an abuse-free marriage.
If you’re a man who wants to avoid this fate, the best way to do so is to pay close attention to what a woman says and does when you’re dating her.
For instance, does she talk about never having or wanting to depend on you financially? That’s a sign she doesn’t trust men, or she doesn’t trust you. Both are bad.
Does she talk excessively about her career and sideline the discussion of family? That will tell you her priorities.
Does she espouse sexual equality? That will let you know she has fallen for feminist propaganda, which will not bode well for your marriage. Sexual differences, not sexual sameness, is what makes marriage work.
Does she talk warmly about children or does it sound like she’s trying to fit them in to her otherwise more important life? This will tell you whether or not she’s maternal.
Lastly, be wary of the woman whose relationship with her father has been impaired in some way. If she does not talk well of him, this is where her inability to trust men emanates and it will show up in your marriage in a thousand ways. (I’m not suggesting you not marry her over this, only that she recognizes it as a problem and is open to dealing with it).
Continued below.
Is she marriage material? - Suzanne Venker
Suzanne is an author and Relationship Coach committed to keeping relationships and families strong.
www.suzannevenker.com