Pride has been the greatest stumbling block in my walk with the Lord, and the greatest hindrance from having a closer and more intimate walk with Christ.
I sat down with an Elder some time ago, and he inferred that I was fortunate to have been blessed with so many natural strengths and talents. I was quick to explain ,that those strengths have often been the biggest threat to having a fulfilling and excellent relationship with the Lord. My tendency is to allow those things in which I have been blessed to become a means to inflate my own self importance, and/or think of myself as above or superior to others.
I don't mean to do it, or necessarily do it consciously, but I find within myself this hidden pride constantly rising up to take the throne of my heart, to where I stand in my own confidence. I abandon the perfect humility of Christ, and become the center of my religion... yet as I do so I find myself devoid of any real love, for it is His love that sustains me. In fact apart from Him I cannot love, for I can only love Him "because He first loved me". I can have everything in myself to walk in an outward display of faithfulness and truth, but if pride is seated within my heart, I do not have the love of Christ reigning within me. "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
God's love is not a co-laborer with the pride and strivings of men.
For God's love to reign within us we must abandon our own confidences, and place all confidence in Christ. We must make His very person the confidence we have.
Sure I have many things I could be proud of in my flesh (I will not list them), but when examined in the light of Christ, and beholding His perfect humility it seems like nothing in comparison. Looking at the Lord I see one who knew who His source was, He knew who His strength was, He knew that apart from the Father He could do nothing. The Father who dwelt within Him by the Spirit was His all, and His very confidence; And it was in Him He abode and by Him He overcame death.
Even though He was very much God, His confidence was not one of introverted self-esteem, but it was rather placed in the Father who bore Him.
It totally blows my mind and I cant wrap my head around it, but I see His perfection in this blessed humility. Amen
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A great book I found very helpful it battling with pride is a little book entitled:
"
Humility -
The beauty of Holiness" by Andrew Murray:
Amazon.com: Humility: The Beauty of Holiness (9781604440706): Andrew Murray: Books
(Short, strong, and readable book... also very affordable
)
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Also, I dont want people to think I would say we must in some way belittle ourselves before God. If we are of a sober mind, we will know where we stand, and if we have true faith, we will know in whom we can boast.
Early on in my walk, I would try to battle my pride by continually belittling myself, thinking that by calling myself names or looking down upon myself I was being humble. I was doing nothing but contending the flesh with my flesh.
To insult and belittle myself was like exalting myself above myself, it was like a dog chasing his tail. Like a bully insults another child in order to stand above him, so was I insulting myself to stand upon my former self and therefore would teeter totter between two extremes: Self-pity and Self-Confidence.
Charles Spurgeon once said: "
Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self.”
The Lord has taught me over time, that it is not he who belittles himself, or he who boasts in himself, but
it is he who believes in the Lord alone.
It is the one who knows he is weak, but instead of feeling sorry for himself, places confidence in the one who is strong and thus overcomes all weakness... It is the one, who although may be confident in his own ability, submits his own ability to the feet of the Lord, knowing unless the Lord's blessing and Holy Spirit is upon the work, it is nothing but human work; A work of the flesh, and in God's eye's is nothing but wood hay and stubble.
Even those things we see as our strengths were first given us by God, and we really have no reason to think highly of ourselves because God in His grace chose to give us natural benefits. If we do not give thanks for them, if we esteem ourselves due to those gifts He has given and are not humble in how we use them, there will always be an occasion for pride.
Pride blinds us to truly seeing Christ, because it is not in Him. It is the very essence of the fallen nature, the fruit of the fall of man, and the very same reason Satan and 1/3 of the heavenly host were cast down into chains.
Andrew Murray said this in his book "The Blood of the Cross":
“By the words which Satan whispered into Eve's ear he breathed into her soul the deadly poison of pride. And since man listened to him, self-exaltation became in his case also the root of all sin and sorrow. His life is made up of self-love, self-will, and self-pleasing. Self, or "I", is the idol he serves. Self is a thousand headed monster that, as self-seeking, self-pleasing, self-confidence, and self-esteem, is the fruitful mother of all the sin and misery which is to be found in the world.”
We are called to a sober mind. This doesn't refer necessarily to the consumption of alcohol as much as it means we are to see things soberly (correctly). The mind intoxicated with pride has a distorted image of self. It is like looking at oneself in a flattering mirror. The opposite of this would be self-pity, which is to look at oneself in a fun house mirror which makes one look ugly or ridiculous.
If we behold Christ, and keep a single eye filled with His glorious light the idea of self seems to fade altogether. We may then see all our strengths and weaknesses as nothing if they are not His. Only as we behold Christ and adhere to Him can we abide in humility. Though the light of the law exposes our short comings, the light of His grace adorns us in a righteousness not of ourselves. Here we may assess both ourselves and Christ aright and find peace.
Shaun RW Little
