Is my husband a worker of iniquity?

[chevyontheriver]

We know only fragments from few specific situations described from one side.

We should not try to attack her husband, call him names or try to lead her into some enmity towards him.

Not wanting to lead her into enmity with her husband, but this is very unhealthy as it is. She has internalized the blame for all of her problems on herself. She thinks she is too stupid and too clumsy and to forgetful not to be blamed by her husband for her stupidity and clumsiness and forgetfulness. Something wrong there.

There is no evidence that she has sought out the assistance of her pastor yet. That would be a rational step. But she considers it all her fault, mostly because her husband tells her it is all her fault.

The enmity is already there. It is his enmity toward her. And her enmity towards herself.

 

[Itsahappyday]

Overheard him talking to a coworker on the phone about how because I don't listen, think etc... That he gets impatient with me, and he looks like the bad guy. He said, years ago he had to remind me in the car 5 times about something or not to do something, and yet when we got out of the car to meet the person, I did "it" and he was impatient and the person looked at him as if he was bad. I don't remember that at all, and I'm sure if I ask him what was it he had to say to me 5 times over, he wouldn't be able to remember, but he can remember that it was 5 times??

So I called this coworker right afterward and said, paraphrase, my husband told me that I made him look bad when we were all working a few days ago together, because I did things that made him impatient with me. Did you notice anything that I did that was wrong that could have made him impatient? Their answer was that maybe it (supposedly when I did something to make him impatient) happened when the they were turned around or not looking.... " This person was there the whole time!!! Felt like they took his side...

 

[rebornfree]

Felt like they took his side...

I'm sorry that you are going through such a bad time but I think it probably doesn't help to see your marriage as having 'sides' rather than something which needs help at the moment. I found the title of the thread a bit disturbing as asking if your husband is "a worker of iniquity" raises the question of the quality of his character straight away. We are all sinners - hopefully redeemed, but not yet perfect.

Now from what you've said I don't think that he has been treating you right and it's not your fault if you are forgetful etc. Nor should he physically abuse you and I think it is reasonable for you to say that it hurts when he does so, and maybe seek a safe place should it continue. However try to understand him. Has he been the victim of abuse? It he stressed at work, or elsewhere? Don't apply judgement too much but look for the good things about him and see the situation as a problem to be solved not as a fight with two sides. Forgive him and above all pray. The Lord will find a way through.