Is marriage based on sin?

[Asvin]

How can two Christians marry without feeling lust towards one another? What differentiates lust from friendship among two Christians? Is christian marriage different or superior than say an atheist marriage or a hindu marriage?

If a Christian marriage is not based on lust, I would argue it is based on mere friendship or general social interaction!

 

[Hakan101]

How can two Christians marry without feeling lust towards one another? What differentiates lust from friendship among two Christians? Is christian marriage different or superior than say an atheist marriage or a hindu marriage?

If a Christian marriage is not based on lust, I would argue it is based on mere friendship or general social interaction!

The Hebrews spoke of three kinds of love. Raya which is friendship love, Ahava which is intimate, committed love; and Dod, which is sexual love. All three exist in a healthy marriage.

Should we say a Christian marriage is "superior?" Doesn't seem the way to compare it. Rather, we need God in all aspects of our lives, even marriage. A wife is not meant to be your "everything", as many lovers often tell each other.

 

[Asvin]

When a Christian man sees two women, and "likes" one of them, where the like is the kind that leads to marriage, and likes the other, where the like is the kind between friends, family members, or relatives, wouldn't you agree that the man is feeling lust towards the first woman? Also, wouldn't you agree that it is something sinful?

 

[drich0150]

How can two Christians marry without feeling lust towards one another?

Lust is not the sin but the context of lust is what is sinful.

What differentiates lust from friendship among two Christians?

I don't know what you are trying to ask here

Is Christian marriage different or superior than say an atheist marriage or a Hindu marriage?

God instituted Marriage It was the first covenant between Himself,Man, and woman. As Far as I know neither of the other two forms of marriage do not incorporate God.

If a Christian marriage is not based on lust, I would argue it is based on mere friendship or general social interaction!

Again I don't know what your point is here.

 

[Hakan101]

They are two different things, like and lust. A man can lust after any woman, but he may know a woman to whom he also has great affection for the person she is. I think this would lead to Ahava love. So they go together, but they are distinctly different.

 

[Asvin]

Lust is not the sin but the context of lust is what is sinful.

I don't know what you are trying to ask here

God instituted Marriage It was the first covenant between Himself,Man, and woman. As Far as I know neither of the other two forms of marriage do not incorporate God.

Again I don't know what your point is here.

Can you provide the verse that states that the context is the sin?

I meant to ask how a relationship between two Christians that plan to marry differs from a lustful relationship?

My point is that Christians have to feel lust, which is a sin, towards each other before marriage for them to contemplate getting married!

 

[Asvin]

They are two different things, like and lust. A man can lust after any woman, but he may know a woman to whom he also has great affection for the person she is. I think this would lead to Ahava love. So they go together, but they are distinctly different.

A man who has great affection for his mother does not lead him to marry her. That means there is a different factor, my guess lust, which plays a role in differentiating your own mother from the woman you want to marry!

 

[Hakan101]

A man who has great affection for his mother does not lead him to marry her. That means there is a different factor, my guess lust, which plays a role in differentiating your own mother from the woman you want to marry!

Right, that's why there are three kinds of love in a marriage, not just one.

 

[drich0150]

Can you provide the verse that states that the context is the sin?

I can but can we first agree that full filling sexual desire in Marriage is not a sin?

I meant to ask how a relationship between two Christians that plan to marry differs from a lustful relationship?
My point is that Christians have to feel lust, which is a sin, towards each other before marriage for them to contemplate getting married!

If you look up the word in it's orginal text you will find that it means more than just sexual desire. It is to covet something forbidden. In the context of marriage what you seek is not forbidden.

 

[Asvin]

I can but can we first agree that full filling sexual desire in Marriage is not a sin?

If you look up the word in it's orginal text you will find that it means more than just sexual desire. It is to covet something forbidden. In the context of marriage what you seek is not forbidden.

Yeah I agree it isn't a sin within marriage

Can you provide the original context, because I am not sure what you mean?
I looked up the definition of the word "lust" and it means to desire something in a sexual way. I don't understand how it has a different meaning that has to do with something more than sexuality!

Doesn't this verse describe jesus saying that a person who lusts has committed adultery?

Matthew 5:27-28 NIV - Adultery - You have heard that it was - Bible Gateway

So a person who is willing to get married, and sees another person of the opposite sex, and lusts after him/her, hasn't he/she committed adultery? a sin?

 

[Asvin]

Right, that's why there are three kinds of love in a marriage, not just one.

You are just affirming what I stated in the OP. The three kinds of love does involve lust!

Look at my above post where I posted a quote from Mathew that states that jesus views lust as adultery!

 

[Hakan101]

You are just affirming what I stated in the OP. The three kinds of love does involve lust!

Look at my above post where I posted a quote from Mathew that states that jesus views lust as adultery!

Right, and Drich pointed out you need to take it in context.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Asvin. Marriage is a Union between a man and a woman, who love each other and promise to share life together: in love and companionship. Husband and wife become One, most of them will have children and then Family-Life begins. The Greeks have three words for Love: Agape, Filio, and Eros. Agape is the selfless love, which keeps a marriage happy and ongoing, I have heard it described as 50/50, both partners share all together, good times and bad times. Then there is Filio, the love for children and relations, which should be selfless and helpful. Then there is Eros, selfish and demanding. God`s Love for us is Agape, always ready to love and forgive. God has given us free will to choose our future. God also has given us Commandments: loving advice to us. We can follow them, or ignore them and go our own way. If we follow them we will have blessings and rewards, and if we decide to go our own way, we will have fitting consequences. It is much like a marriage, Asvin, we love our partners and share all together, or we become selfish and have things our own way. Marriage is not based on sin, marriage is based on love, selfless and no strings attached. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, sister in Christ.

 

[razeontherock]

My point is that Christians have to feel lust, which is a sin,

That feeling =/= sin, you can beat yourself up senselessly thinking like that!

 

[razeontherock]

Doesn't this verse describe jesus saying that a person who lusts has committed adultery?

Matthew 5:27-28 NIV - Adultery - You have heard that it was - Bible Gateway

So a person who is willing to get married, and sees another person of the opposite sex, and lusts after him/her, hasn't he/she committed adultery? a sin?

2 things: english =/= greek, or hebrew. We lose so much in translation.

Next, when Jesus said this, there essentially was no such thing as a non-married woman. If she wasn't married she was "betrothed," and so were you.

What this means is, as I read this passage, a lot of our society is in a situation Jesus never addressed. Anyway you have already found this is one of life's more difficult issues, God Bless you for caring about the right thing at your age!

 

[drich0150]

Yeah I agree it isn't a sin within marriage

Can you provide the original context, because I am not sure what you mean?
I looked up the definition of the word "lust" and it means to desire something in a sexual way. I don't understand how it has a different meaning that has to do with something more than sexuality!

Doesn't this verse describe jesus saying that a person who lusts has committed adultery?

Matthew 5:27-28 NIV - Adultery - You have heard that it was - Bible Gateway

So a person who is willing to get married, and sees another person of the opposite sex, and lusts after him/her, hasn't he/she committed adultery? a sin?

This is the defination of the word found in Mat 5 you seem to be having trouble with.

Blue Letter Bible - Lexicon

Here it is in context:
http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/translationResults.cfm?Criteria=lust&t=KJV
Word number 1937 in Mt 5

the word Lust as you are using it can be be found in Romans 1 word number 3715

 

[GrayAngel]

Sexual attraction is a gift given by God, and it is not a sin. Nothing in and of itself is evil, but it's the state of the heart that matters.

It's not wrong to feel an attraction toward someone. That's natural. It becomes a sin when you start using it as an excuse to stare in the wrong places, or to entertain fantasies in your head.

Dating is probably partially to blame for the blur in the line between attraction and lust. In the old days, if you wanted a wife, you asked for her hand, you become engaged, you build a house to live in, then you make it official.

Now when we find someone we want to marry, we flirt, which leads to dating, then we develop this intimate bond with the person while we're still trying to figure out if we're going to marry them. Then you might start living together, sleeping together, one of you might get pregnant, and you may still at this point decide to break off with this person (these are the things you shouldn't do, BTW). Finally, you propose, have a ceremony, and then you're married.

The old ways of doing things were much simpler, and purity was still something of value.

 

[bling]

How can two Christians marry without feeling lust towards one another? What differentiates lust from friendship among two Christians? Is christian marriage different or superior than say an atheist marriage or a hindu marriage?

If a Christian marriage is not based on lust, I would argue it is based on mere friendship or general social interaction!

You Love your children but you do not "lust" after them. Your Love for your wife should be similar with the added benefit of sex. Lust has to do with wanting to take advantage of another person (coveting what you shouls not have.).

 

[Sketcher]

Lust is sexual greed. A husband and wife can and should have love and passion for each other, but when there's lust in there, the marriage gets hurt.

 

[GrayAngel]

Lust is sexual greed. A husband and wife can and should have love and passion for each other, but when there's lust in there, the marriage gets hurt.

Greed is a good word to describe lust. Like lust, it's not evil to want money. You need money to survive, to pay your bills, to send your children off to college. But your desire can become too great, placing itself too high on your list of priorities.

Sexual desire is the same. To a certain degree, it is a good thing. It becomes evil when it takes over, causing us to do things we shouldn't do in order to satisfy our desire.

Then there's gluttony. Eating food is not a sin. You need food. But it becomes a sin when eating becomes too important too you, when it starts to take over your life. It's yet another form of greed, wanting something too much.

It's about balance. We let our emotions and desires guide us, but we should not let them take over. We must keep a clear and sober mind, to reign over our desires instead of letting our desires reign over us.