Is It Wrong

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

I am somebody who is disabled. I have vertigo, but it's situational. It is very difficult for me to cross the street with vertigo. I get extremely nauseous and dizzy. There are days when I have to order groceries online instead of going to the grocery store. But there are days when I feel better and I can run up and down the stairs.

I don't know the exact cause of my vertigo. They think that I somehow damaged my inner ear. I don't know why some days I do very well, and some days I am doing terrible. It is hard for me to get to work as a result of my dizziness. I am afraid to cross the street, actually I have a phobia of crossing the street in fear that the cars are going to hit me. I cannot drive as a result of my disability.

Now I am living on Social Security, and I feel like I lost my self-respect. Now this is not against those who live on Social Security this is just against me.

I hate feeling like I'm a worthless leech, leeching off the government. I have done everything I can to look for a job in my town. But nobody wants to hire somebody who is limited. I even tried DVR, which is a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are supposed to help people who are disabled. But I received a letter saying that their resources are limited and they are unable to help me get a job in the town that I am living in. It's a very small town. The problem is getting to work. They say I need Door to Door Service. It is not wise for me to walk to work with vertigo. I can get really hurt.

So everything just seems to work against me. No job wants to hire me as a result. The town that I am living in is not disabled friendly. They cannot accept the lack of hours that I cannot work as a result of being disabled. We do have a little bit of Transportation. But it is very limited. It works 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and then again at 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. And it does not work on the weekends. It will pick me up at my door, but it will only do it at certain times. And most employers don't want that. They want me to be available a lot more than that.

But in a larger City they have door-to-door service that works the same hours as the bus service. They will work from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. And and the good news is the Paratransit bus will pick you up at the door. Of course I have to be qualified for the Paratransit bus. But I have documentation proving that I am disabled. So I am not worried about being qualified. Plus they have taxi services that also pick you up right at the door. Although the taxis are a little bit expensive. So this is good news. And DVR services will be available for me as well as the resources they need to help me. They are just unable to help me in this small town. Everyone works in this town. It's a very conservative town.

My first goal is to get off of Social Security. I hate how much debt we are in this country and I am definitely not helping by being on Social Security.

I know the complaints that conservatives have been making. I know that they say that I am, and people like me, are leeching off the government. And everytime I hear it, it does hurt a little bit. But it makes me and prompts me to look for a job.
So my first goal is to get a job more than anything. I feel like I lost my self-respect being on Social Security. And I did everything I could to try to get a job in my small town with no luck.

So I am moving to the big city. And I have to move in with a female friend. My family, who are devout Christians, are strongly opposed me moving in with a female friend. We're both unmarried and we are definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. I struggle with same-sex attraction so there will not be any sexual activity between us. And yes I agree homosexuality to be a sin against God.

But the point is is that my family believe it looks like we will be sinning. They know about my struggles with same-sex attraction. And I don't understand what the problem is. I'm not going to be doing anything sexual with her.

She is not a believer. But that doesn't bother me. She respects my beliefs and I respect hers. But my mom and the rest of my family does not believe that I should be moving in with her. If I move in with her it will destroyed my relationship with my family.

But here is the problem. In order for me to move to a big city, I would have to move in with her. Otherwise I would have to save up the money to get my own place and that could take up to a year to do. I live on Social Security and I don't get much. But with this plan I can move right away. I wouldn't have to stay on disability any longer. I could apply to get the door to door service; and get help with DVR services. It is easier to find a job in this city. And it's two hours away from my parents. They have a a bus that will go to this town.

So my question is, isn't getting a job the most important thing for me right now?

And doesn't even matter that I am an unmarried man living with an unmarried woman, especially since I struggle with same-sex attraction?

Is it wrong for me to move in with her, even though I know it's going to destroy my relationship with my family?

It is the only way that I'm able to move right now.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Hey nice haircut man, thats a good look for you.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Hey nice haircut man, thats a good look for you.

Thank you

 

[HoleyHermit]

The vast majority of people today aren't worried about sexual morality, especially in big city, so it's not going to cause a scandal. Given your struggle with same-sex attraction and other problems, I don't know why your parents have a problem with it.

Generally, when conservatives are worried about people on disability, it's about the frauds who are gaming the system.

 

[Pappy&Me]

I pray you get it all worked out. Your grown now so do what you think is right.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Thanks everyone.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Just read your OP. No it isn't wrong and I think its perfectly find to go ahead even if you didn't have same sex attraction issues, even with that, that is no guarantee nothing happens. However regardless I think this is fine.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Just read your OP. No it isn't wrong and I think its perfectly find to go ahead even if you didn't have same sex attraction issues, even with that, that is no guarantee nothing happens. However regardless I think this is fine.

Thank you very much

 

[ToBeLoved]

You have to give yourself a break.

For some reason, God wants you in the situation that you are in. You are God's child and your life is for HIS glory. You need to stop replaying this same thing over and over in your head and get past it.

What can you do for God today right where you are with your disability?

 

[SpiritofaDove]

I agree with ToBeLoved. You are not a leech. You are not worthless. You have to find out what you can do in the situation you are in now. It's a really huge step to go out on your own and do as you plan to do. If you want to do it, fine, go for it. But I'd pray a lot on it. That's a big big change. I know you want things to change, but your attitude about yourself, is the place you need to start. God bless. Praying for you.

 

[1watchman]

Well, regardless of all the many fears you have, friend, the bottom line is your relationship with God's beloved Son ---the Lord Jesus. If you are trusting Him as Savior and Lord of your life, you can take all concerns to Him, and walk and talk with Him daily. He cares for those who care!

You might also carefully assess your abilities for work. What interests you, and how much of any kind of work can you do? Can you be a clerk in a store? Can you stock shelves? Can you do janitorial work? Can you wash dishes in a restaurant? There are many simple jobs that do not require training, but some effort and interest in inter-acting with people ---and some that one can do separately from people. You might ask about this at the State Employment Security agency.

 

[LoricaLady]

I am somebody who is disabled. I have vertigo, but it's situational. It is very difficult for me to cross the street with vertigo. I get extremely nauseous and dizzy. There are days when I have to order groceries online instead of going to the grocery store. But there are days when I feel better and I can run up and down the stairs.

I don't know the exact cause of my vertigo. They think that I somehow damaged my inner ear. I don't know why some days I do very well, and some days I am doing terrible. It is hard for me to get to work as a result of my dizziness. I am afraid to cross the street, actually I have a phobia of crossing the street in fear that the cars are going to hit me. I cannot drive as a result of my disability.

Now I am living on Social Security, and I feel like I lost my self-respect. Now this is not against those who live on Social Security this is just against me.

I hate feeling like I'm a worthless leech, leeching off the government. I have done everything I can to look for a job in my town. But nobody wants to hire somebody who is limited. I even tried DVR, which is a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are supposed to help people who are disabled. But I received a letter saying that their resources are limited and they are unable to help me get a job in the town that I am living in. It's a very small town. The problem is getting to work. They say I need Door to Door Service. It is not wise for me to walk to work with vertigo. I can get really hurt.

So everything just seems to work against me. No job wants to hire me as a result. The town that I am living in is not disabled friendly. They cannot accept the lack of hours that I cannot work as a result of being disabled. We do have a little bit of Transportation. But it is very limited. It works 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and then again at 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. And it does not work on the weekends. It will pick me up at my door, but it will only do it at certain times. And most employers don't want that. They want me to be available a lot more than that.

But in a larger City they have door-to-door service that works the same hours as the bus service. They will work from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. And and the good news is the Paratransit bus will pick you up at the door. Of course I have to be qualified for the Paratransit bus. But I have documentation proving that I am disabled. So I am not worried about being qualified. Plus they have taxi services that also pick you up right at the door. Although the taxis are a little bit expensive. So this is good news. And DVR services will be available for me as well as the resources they need to help me. They are just unable to help me in this small town. Everyone works in this town. It's a very conservative town.

My first goal is to get off of Social Security. I hate how much debt we are in this country and I am definitely not helping by being on Social Security.

I know the complaints that conservatives have been making. I know that they say that I am, and people like me, are leeching off the government. And everytime I hear it, it does hurt a little bit. But it makes me and prompts me to look for a job.
So my first goal is to get a job more than anything. I feel like I lost my self-respect being on Social Security. And I did everything I could to try to get a job in my small town with no luck.

So I am moving to the big city. And I have to move in with a female friend. My family, who are devout Christians, are strongly opposed me moving in with a female friend. We're both unmarried and we are definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. I struggle with same-sex attraction so there will not be any sexual activity between us. And yes I agree homosexuality to be a sin against God.

But the point is is that my family believe it looks like we will be sinning. They know about my struggles with same-sex attraction. And I don't understand what the problem is. I'm not going to be doing anything sexual with her.

She is not a believer. But that doesn't bother me. She respects my beliefs and I respect hers. But my mom and the rest of my family does not believe that I should be moving in with her. If I move in with her it will destroyed my relationship with my family.

But here is the problem. In order for me to move to a big city, I would have to move in with her. Otherwise I would have to save up the money to get my own place and that could take up to a year to do. I live on Social Security and I don't get much. But with this plan I can move right away. I wouldn't have to stay on disability any longer. I could apply to get the door to door service; and get help with DVR services. It is easier to find a job in this city. And it's two hours away from my parents. They have a a bus that will go to this town.

So my question is, isn't getting a job the most important thing for me right now?

And doesn't even matter that I am an unmarried man living with an unmarried woman, especially since I struggle with same-sex attraction?

Is it wrong for me to move in with her, even though I know it's going to destroy my relationship with my family?

It is the only way that I'm able to move right now.

You're not a worthless leech. Whatever it is today, this country was founded on Chrsitian principals. That means we are to help a weaker brother. You are not defrauding anyone or having more kids just to get more welfare or anything. You want to work and be productive! In the meantime graciously accept help. I pay taxes and no way resent part of it going to help those who truly need help. I resent it going for things like corruption and waste!

I think conservatives are complaining about people who don't really need to be getting public assistance, including some who are illegal aliens. There is a lot of fraud going on.

I have no way of knowing of course, but if you are dizzy sometimes and sometimes not, to me that suggests some kind of outside your own body factor. The biggest culprit is often diet. I wonder if an elimination diet would help you find out what triggers your dizziness. There is info on how to go about that on the net.

As for moving in with the girl, it does not seem that will guarantee you are more likely to get a job then, than now. The Bible does say "Do not give even the appearance of evil."

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I am somebody who is disabled. I have vertigo, but it's situational. It is very difficult for me to cross the street with vertigo. I get extremely nauseous and dizzy. There are days when I have to order groceries online instead of going to the grocery store. But there are days when I feel better and I can run up and down the stairs.
Bless your heart...I have a mom who suffers with the worst kind of vertigo.


I don't know the exact cause of my vertigo. They think that I somehow damaged my inner ear. I don't know why some days I do very well, and some days I am doing terrible. It is hard for me to get to work as a result of my dizziness. I am afraid to cross the street, actually I have a phobia of crossing the street in fear that the cars are going to hit me. I cannot drive as a result of my disability.

Now I am living on Social Security, and I feel like I lost my self-respect. Now this is not against those who live on Social Security this is just against me.

My mom had to go on public assistance as well because of her vertigo...that's what public assistance/welfare/social security is for...those who are legitimately unable to work.
You know what self respect is...it's being honest with yourself about things.
You have medical conditions that hinder and or prevent what you can do.

I hate feeling like I'm a worthless leech, leeching off the government.
You aren't a worthless leech...you are a person who has medical conditions
that really limit you.

I have done everything I can to look for a job in my town. But nobody wants to hire somebody who is limited. I even tried DVR, which is a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are supposed to help people who are disabled. But I received a letter saying that their resources are limited and they are unable to help me get a job in the town that I am living in. It's a very small town. The problem is getting to work. They say I need Door to Door Service. It is not wise for me to walk to work with vertigo. I can get really hurt.

So everything just seems to work against me. No job wants to hire me as a result. The town that I am living in is not disabled friendly. They cannot accept the lack of hours that I cannot work as a result of being disabled. We do have a little bit of Transportation. But it is very limited. It works 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and then again at 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. And it does not work on the weekends. It will pick me up at my door, but it will only do it at certain times. And most employers don't want that. They want me to be available a lot more than that.

But in a larger City they have door-to-door service that works the same hours as the bus service. They will work from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. And and the good news is the Paratransit bus will pick you up at the door. Of course I have to be qualified for the Paratransit bus. But I have documentation proving that I am disabled. So I am not worried about being qualified. Plus they have taxi services that also pick you up right at the door. Although the taxis are a little bit expensive. So this is good news. And DVR services will be available for me as well as the resources they need to help me. They are just unable to help me in this small town. Everyone works in this town. It's a very conservative town.

My first goal is to get off of Social Security. I hate how much debt we are in this country and I am definitely not helping by being on Social Security.
Honestly, what's not helping are all the able-bodied people who are on SS and
welfare that don't want to work.

I know the complaints that conservatives have been making. I know that they say that I am, and people like me, are leeching off the government. And everytime I hear it, it does hurt a little bit. But it makes me and prompts me to look for a job.
You aren't a leech....you are legitimately qualified to get the assistance that you need.

So my first goal is to get a job more than anything. I feel like I lost my self-respect being on Social Security. And I did everything I could to try to get a job in my small town with no luck.
No, you haven't lost respect.
You should never call yourself something that you are not....you are not a "leech".
You are a man who has illnesses that greatly hinder your ability to work...my
mom has illnesses that greatly hindered her ability to work.


So I am moving to the big city. And I have to move in with a female friend. My family, who are devout Christians, are strongly opposed me moving in with a female friend. We're both unmarried and we are definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. I struggle with same-sex attraction so there will not be any sexual activity between us. And yes I agree homosexuality to be a sin against God.

But the point is is that my family believe it looks like we will be sinning. They know about my struggles with same-sex attraction. And I don't understand what the problem is. I'm not going to be doing anything sexual with her.
The problem be that you aren't to be doing something that looks like you "shacking" up with the female friend.

She is not a believer. But that doesn't bother me. She respects my beliefs and I respect hers. But my mom and the rest of my family does not believe that I should be moving in with her. If I move in with her it will destroyed my relationship with my family.

Things change when you live in someone else's house...you have to "dance by their rules".
I tried having roommates, it never worked for me and believe me I've had several roomies and once we were sharing common space...they didn't do chores, their lifestyles clashed with mine...they wanted to party and have their boyfriends overnight etc. The biggest complaint would be...none of my roomies paid rent, I got stiffed on a continual basis and getting rid of them wasn't always easy.
You be very careful about moving in with anybody.


But here is the problem. In order for me to move to a big city, I would have to move in with her. Otherwise I would have to save up the money to get my own place and that could take up to a year to do.
I do believe this would be the best way to go...save up the money and take your time finding suitable "digs".

I live on Social Security and I don't get much. But with this plan I can move right away. I wouldn't have to stay on disability any longer. I could apply to get the door to door service; and get help with DVR services. It is easier to find a job in this city. And it's two hours away from my parents. They have a a bus that will go to this town.

So my question is, isn't getting a job the most important thing for me right now?

No, the most important thing(s) for you right now is to be in a solid relationship
with God, grow in knowledge of His Word and to see yourself as He does.

And doesn't even matter that I am an unmarried man living with an unmarried woman, especially since I struggle with same-sex attraction?

Is it wrong for me to move in with her, even though I know it's going to destroy my relationship with my family?

It is the only way that I'm able to move right now.

Yes it do matter...the Bible tells us that "bad company corrupts good morals"...
1 Corinthians 15:33 and also "The righteous should choose his friends carefully"...Proverbs 12:26.

There no pressing need for you to move "right now".
The more pressing need is to be secure in one's faith walk with the Lord and
to see value in yourself as a child of the Most High God and to bloom/grow
where you be planted.
other ideas:
Your own town lacks this and that...you know, you could start rallying the
people to get in place more things for those who are disabled.
It happened where I use to live and it's a small town and all it took was for
one person to start making their needs known in the community, church and
local government.
"The squeaky wheel gets the oil"...so, start "squeaking".

My little town got a bus system and two transport vans for
the seniors and those who are disabled and later on came shopping online
for groceries/home deliveries.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I am somebody who is disabled. I have vertigo, but it's situational. It is very difficult for me to cross the street with vertigo. I get extremely nauseous and dizzy. There are days when I have to order groceries online instead of going to the grocery store. But there are days when I feel better and I can run up and down the stairs.

I don't know the exact cause of my vertigo. They think that I somehow damaged my inner ear. I don't know why some days I do very well, and some days I am doing terrible. It is hard for me to get to work as a result of my dizziness. I am afraid to cross the street, actually I have a phobia of crossing the street in fear that the cars are going to hit me. I cannot drive as a result of my disability.

Now I am living on Social Security, and I feel like I lost my self-respect. Now this is not against those who live on Social Security this is just against me.

I hate feeling like I'm a worthless leech, leeching off the government. I have done everything I can to look for a job in my town. But nobody wants to hire somebody who is limited. I even tried DVR, which is a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are supposed to help people who are disabled. But I received a letter saying that their resources are limited and they are unable to help me get a job in the town that I am living in. It's a very small town. The problem is getting to work. They say I need Door to Door Service. It is not wise for me to walk to work with vertigo. I can get really hurt.

So everything just seems to work against me. No job wants to hire me as a result. The town that I am living in is not disabled friendly. They cannot accept the lack of hours that I cannot work as a result of being disabled. We do have a little bit of Transportation. But it is very limited. It works 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and then again at 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. And it does not work on the weekends. It will pick me up at my door, but it will only do it at certain times. And most employers don't want that. They want me to be available a lot more than that.

But in a larger City they have door-to-door service that works the same hours as the bus service. They will work from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. And and the good news is the Paratransit bus will pick you up at the door. Of course I have to be qualified for the Paratransit bus. But I have documentation proving that I am disabled. So I am not worried about being qualified. Plus they have taxi services that also pick you up right at the door. Although the taxis are a little bit expensive. So this is good news. And DVR services will be available for me as well as the resources they need to help me. They are just unable to help me in this small town. Everyone works in this town. It's a very conservative town.

My first goal is to get off of Social Security. I hate how much debt we are in this country and I am definitely not helping by being on Social Security.

I know the complaints that conservatives have been making. I know that they say that I am, and people like me, are leeching off the government. And everytime I hear it, it does hurt a little bit. But it makes me and prompts me to look for a job.
So my first goal is to get a job more than anything. I feel like I lost my self-respect being on Social Security. And I did everything I could to try to get a job in my small town with no luck.

So I am moving to the big city. And I have to move in with a female friend. My family, who are devout Christians, are strongly opposed me moving in with a female friend. We're both unmarried and we are definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. I struggle with same-sex attraction so there will not be any sexual activity between us. And yes I agree homosexuality to be a sin against God.

But the point is is that my family believe it looks like we will be sinning. They know about my struggles with same-sex attraction. And I don't understand what the problem is. I'm not going to be doing anything sexual with her.

She is not a believer. But that doesn't bother me. She respects my beliefs and I respect hers. But my mom and the rest of my family does not believe that I should be moving in with her. If I move in with her it will destroyed my relationship with my family.

But here is the problem. In order for me to move to a big city, I would have to move in with her. Otherwise I would have to save up the money to get my own place and that could take up to a year to do. I live on Social Security and I don't get much. But with this plan I can move right away. I wouldn't have to stay on disability any longer. I could apply to get the door to door service; and get help with DVR services. It is easier to find a job in this city. And it's two hours away from my parents. They have a a bus that will go to this town.

So my question is, isn't getting a job the most important thing for me right now?

And doesn't even matter that I am an unmarried man living with an unmarried woman, especially since I struggle with same-sex attraction?

Is it wrong for me to move in with her, even though I know it's going to destroy my relationship with my family?

It is the only way that I'm able to move right now.

To the OP. This is a very serious question.

Do you think Jesus loves you right now, in this second and moment, EXACTLY the way you are?

Yes or no?

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

To the OP. This is a very serious question.

Do you think Jesus loves you right now, in this second and moment, EXACTLY the way you are?

Yes or no?

Yes I do

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Yes it do matter...the Bible tells us that "bad company corrupts good morals"...
1 Corinthians 15:33 and also "The righteous should choose his friends carefully"...Proverbs 12:26.

There no pressing need for you to move "right now".
The more pressing need is to be secure in one's faith walk with the Lord and
to see value in yourself as a child of the Most High God and to bloom/grow
where you be planted.
other ideas:
Your own town lacks this and that...you know, you could start rallying the
people to get in place more things for those who are disabled.
It happened where I use to live and it's a small town and all it took was for
one person to start making their needs known in the community, church and
local government.
"The squeaky wheel gets the oil"...so, start "squeaking".

My little town got a bus system and two transport vans for
the seniors and those who are disabled and later on came shopping online
for groceries/home deliveries.

That is a very good idea. Thank you very much. I will let the community know the needs of those who are disabled.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

You're not a worthless leech. Whatever it is today, this country was founded on Chrsitian principals. That means we are to help a weaker brother. You are not defrauding anyone or having more kids just to get more welfare or anything. You want to work and be productive! In the meantime graciously accept help. I pay taxes and no way resent part of it going to help those who truly need help. I resent it going for things like corruption and waste!

I think conservatives are complaining about people who don't really need to be getting public assistance, including some who are illegal aliens. There is a lot of fraud going on.

I have no way of knowing of course, but if you are dizzy sometimes and sometimes not, to me that suggests some kind of outside your own body factor. The biggest culprit is often diet. I wonder if an elimination diet would help you find out what triggers your dizziness. There is info on how to go about that on the net.

As for moving in with the girl, it does not seem that will guarantee you are more likely to get a job then, than now. The Bible does say "Do not give even the appearance of evil."

Thank you very much.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Yes it do matter...the Bible tells us that "bad company corrupts good morals"...
1 Corinthians 15:33 and also "The righteous should choose his friends carefully"...Proverbs 12:26.

There no pressing need for you to move "right now".
The more pressing need is to be secure in one's faith walk with the Lord and
to see value in yourself as a child of the Most High God and to bloom/grow
where you be planted.
other ideas:
Your own town lacks this and that...you know, you could start rallying the
people to get in place more things for those who are disabled.
It happened where I use to live and it's a small town and all it took was for
one person to start making their needs known in the community, church and
local government.
"The squeaky wheel gets the oil"...so, start "squeaking".

My little town got a bus system and two transport vans for
the seniors and those who are disabled and later on came shopping online
for groceries/home deliveries.

I did not read everything that you posted. Sorry about that I thought I did. I think that you are probably right in your advice. And thank you very much for not making me feel like I am a leech.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I'm very sorry to hear that - and agree with other posters you are not a leech or worthless. We have disability for this very reason and its needed for these reasons. I have very mild inner ear damage no where to your level but it annoys me -- I have studied on it and seen the severe ways people suffer with it and my heart aches for them, it really does.

To answer your question, no, I don't think its wrong. It sounds like your family is making incorrect assumptions but God knows what is in your heart and intent. If there is no attraction and no risk here with this woman, and you are just friends, gender should not matter. It may be a good opportunity for you to move and restart somewhere fresh if you are not comfortable and growing where you are now.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

Thank you