Is it wrong to pray for a girlfriend?

[nate_1989]

Hello all, didnt really know where to put this so Ill put it here, Is it wrong to pray for a lady? Now I have met so many pretty women as a drinker and messed up all my relationships due to drinking! Now I am trying to turn my life around and meet good girls, but I dont know how to behave or where to meet them? I am praying that god sends me a beautiful women who believes in him and would like me for me........Pretty lonely lately guys, seems like everyone has a relationship and when I had one last year I loved it...It was nice to have a person who actually liked me and wanted to hang with me, I never experienced that before and it felt great and really helped my self esteem. Well she broke my heart and here I am again single. Is it wrong to pray for that? Do any of you struggle with lonliness? I am 23 and have never been in a relationship that has lasted past 2 months literally....wth is wrong with me?

 

[BFine]

I struggle with loneliness and I'm married...I struggled with loneliness as
a single person too. I have talked with others who experience the same thing
-- I do believe I commented on that in someone's thread not so long ago?

Yeah, I"m one those who has feelings of loneliness... I think it's due in part to this:
"For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." [Romans 8:22-23]

I prayed for someone suitable for me in marriage...prayed a lot actually.
My life hasn't been without a LOT trouble and health issues.

 

[nate_1989]

When I was with my ex gf, I wasnt lonely...I felt good.

 

[Kreelolwut]

Brother, I feel your pain. I've been waiting on God to bring me my wife for over 7 years.
First off bro, I just want to praise God for your surrender to him. That's pretty legit!
But man, it's not wrong to pray for that. It's GOOD! It's good to pray that God would prepare your heart for the Godly woman that he has hand picked for you!
Before you took your first breathe, he knew you and wrote the story of your life.. Including your love life. It's all just in the beauty of waiting and trusting him to bring her to you. He will bring her into your life when he sees fit. Everyones love story is different. For some, God will bring their mate into their life to help bring them to Christ, to help lead them in Gods truth, and he brings that person into their life when they need it most, to show them the love of Christ through their love. That's what happened to my brother. He was in a pretty deep pit of sin, but he started to see Gods light and gave up those things, and God brought his wife into his life, and I honestly believe that he wouldn't be the Godly man he is today if he hadn't met her. God knows that we need that encouraging, loving, uplifting mate in our lives. He created us to desire that. But back to what I was saying. Other times, God will bring the test of time and faith in our relationships. He will have us wait, and rely on him and find our love in him before he brings that person into our lives. To build us into the strong, spiritual leaders that he needs us to be. For her, for our family. That's how it's been with me. He's tested me through waiting and trusting in him. I feel in the depths of my soul that she is almost here, but I just gotta hold on and continue to seek Gods face.
So man, to answer your question.. no, it is not wrong to pray for a girlfriend. But it is better to pray for a wife. I want to encourage you to seek Gods face with everything that you have in you.. And pray for the wife he has picked out for you to spend the rest of your life with. HE will bring her to you. Just as he brought Eve to adam, and Rebekkah(or Rachel, cant remember) to Jacob. He will lead you to her.. He will bring her to you. Just seek HIS heart first man. And trust in him. Pray for her. Pray that he will turn her affections towards you, her future husband. And to turn your affections towards her, your future wife. Even though yall haven't met, he will place things in your heart, and in her heart, and build that love between yall before yall even meet. It's beautiful man, it's so beautiful seeing glimpses of your wife. It's a treasure that I will always carry in my heart.
Love you brother, you'll be in my prayers.

Your brother in Christ,
Kree.

 

[Sketcher]

It's fine to pray for one, just don't be over-anxious about it. Also learn to be content with yourself. The stronger you are by yourself, the less of a burden you would be putting on her, and the more you can give to her. I think any woman would appreciate that.

 

[spr]

1 Corinthians 7:27 ... seek not a wife.

 

[Sketcher]

"Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. " -1 Cor 7:26-28

Context helps.

 

[manitouscott]

Why would it be wrong to ask God for a woman in your life? I don't see how. I think the only thing that could be wrong is if your intentions are not godly toward this future mate, which it sounds like they are godly, or if you get impatient with God when one does not materialize as quickly as you like.

Just a thought, perhaps God wants you to focus on Him for awhile so you can be the man your future wife is looking for?

God Bless.

 

[TheDag]

Hello all, didnt really know where to put this so Ill put it here, Is it wrong to pray for a lady?

Nothing wrong with that. I prayed to do well in a race at school once and God answered. It was the only time in my life I have beat my brother in a race. Just be aware that sometimes his answer may be no or wait. How to hear God's answer? Well thats another whole topic and one I struggle with.


[/quote]
Pretty lonely lately guys, seems like everyone has a relationship and when I had one last year I loved it...It was nice to have a person who actually liked me and wanted to hang with me, I never experienced that before and it felt great and really helped my self esteem. Well she broke my heart and here I am again single. Is it wrong to pray for that? Do any of you struggle with lonliness? I am 23 and have never been in a relationship that has lasted past 2 months literally....wth is wrong with me?[/quote]
yeah it can get pretty lonely. Having seperated from my wife last year I have at times been very lonely. So many things reminded me and it was hard. What I find helps is having a good support network. I have a friend I can call anytime day or night. Plenty of people have said call me anytime but this one person is the only one I am confident literally does mean anytime. Others I think anytime means during the day. I have been lucky to have this wonderful friend. A friendship like that can't be manufactured it needs to build over time and needs the right person with the right heart.

 

[tbogunro]

I think a lot of people including myself at some point go through what you're going through. No it's not wrong and actually God has already have that special lady for you. He said a man would leave His parents to be joined permanently with his wife. He also said it's not good for a man to be alone, so He'll create that special someone for them. God knows how important relationships are and the devil is aware of the effects it has on us if we're impatient or if things don't work out, that's why he targets relationships a lot. Reason why it hasn't worked is because you're not letting God handle it. God actually says a good wife can ONLY come from God and a good marriage is one that is led by God. YES you're going to get married and have the life you desire but it's up to you to realize it's GOING to happen regardless, so you better enjoy being single for now lol. There's no point worrying about it, yes the feeling of loneliness will come and go but the future you hope for will happen! So go have fun, chill with friends, and THANK God for the woman He'll bring into your life . I myself can testify that God indeed does bring the right person at the right time. Sometimes to prepare us for the right one or to mature us first. God takes marriage seriously, so He's not going to bring two people together that aren't ready yet.

 

[nate_1989]

thanks evryone...I just hope it doesnt happen when I am 40 or something you know...I really think women are more attractive when they are in their 20s and so I will also be...if that makes sense?

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

Hello all, didnt really know where to put this so Ill put it here, Is it wrong to pray for a lady? Now I have met so many pretty women as a drinker and messed up all my relationships due to drinking! Now I am trying to turn my life around and meet good girls, but I dont know how to behave or where to meet them? I am praying that god sends me a beautiful women who believes in him and would like me for me........Pretty lonely lately guys, seems like everyone has a relationship and when I had one last year I loved it...It was nice to have a person who actually liked me and wanted to hang with me, I never experienced that before and it felt great and really helped my self esteem. Well she broke my heart and here I am again single. Is it wrong to pray for that? Do any of you struggle with lonliness? I am 23 and have never been in a relationship that has lasted past 2 months literally....wth is wrong with me?

Is it wrong to pray for a woman as if you were ordering a customized car? "Make her look like this, make her act like this, make her think like this". Yes, that is juvenile, selfish, and unrealistic.

You said "I don't know how to behave". That right there tells me you need to stay single and learn how to be a mature, decent, honorable SINGLE man before you even think about getting into a serious relationship.

You ask "what is wrong with me?" Well, you admit to messing up multliple relationships that were based solely (or mainly) on physical appearance (aka sexual attraction) with drinking and other reckless behaviors. That's what's wrong with you. You've acted like a selfish, shallow, short-sighted child. Time to grow up now.

Stay single. Grow up. Learn to be a man. You're only 23, you're just a few years out of your teens, and obviously have NOT learned how to be a man in any way. You're not hopeless, you're just off to a late start. Now's your chance to get back on the right track and get your life headed in a better direction.

Girls are not toys, they're not products that you use and discard, and you don't "order" them from God via junior-high-locker-room-wish-list prayers. Girls are human beings with feelings, hearts, fears, hopes, needs, and they deserve to be regarded as people, not a means to satisfy your hormones or loneliness.

Again, stay single. Work hard, go to school, learn a trade, become independent, make some good Christian connections with other guys at church. Learn what it means to be a godly man. Do that for a year or two (or five) before you revisit the relationship arena.

Best wishes.

 

[changewithgrace]

Is it wrong to pray for a woman as if you were ordering a customized car? "Make her look like this, make her act like this, make her think like this". Yes, that is juvenile, selfish, and unrealistic.

You said "I don't know how to behave". That right there tells me you need to stay single and learn how to be a mature, decent, honorable SINGLE man before you even think about getting into a serious relationship.

You ask "what is wrong with me?" Well, you admit to messing up multliple relationships that were based solely (or mainly) on physical appearance (aka sexual attraction) with drinking and other reckless behaviors. That's what's wrong with you. You've acted like a selfish, shallow, short-sighted child. Time to grow up now.

Stay single. Grow up. Learn to be a man. You're only 23, you're just a few years out of your teens, and obviously have NOT learned how to be a man in any way. You're not hopeless, you're just off to a late start. Now's your chance to get back on the right track and get your life headed in a better direction.

Girls are not toys, they're not products that you use and discard, and you don't "order" them from God via junior-high-locker-room-wish-list prayers. Girls are human beings with feelings, hearts, fears, hopes, needs, and they deserve to be regarded as people, not a means to satisfy your hormones or loneliness.

Again, stay single. Work hard, go to school, learn a trade, become independent, make some good Christian connections with other guys at church. Learn what it means to be a godly man. Do that for a year or two (or five) before you revisit the relationship arena.

Best wishes.

It seems like you pigeoin holed him to make he look like a bad person. He admitted that his past behavior was not the right way and has changed that. There is nothing wrong with looking for a wife. I think alot of people go through similiar things in younger ages with alcohol and relationship and some people dont find god or there own natural confidence until they are older. These goes for women too....women like attractive men and men who have thier life together etc..

To the OP you are quite young and dont feel bad for not finding the one yet..a lot of people exp this pain. Im 30 now and dont have one. I had one 'real' relationship my whole life and I was in love and it was devastating when it ended. I am much more careful about them now and am more patient in waiting for the right one. Best of luck. I am not sure about the whole god as a matchmaker thing but maybe more of an oppurtunity maker.

 

[Spunkn]

thanks evryone...I just hope it doesnt happen when I am 40 or something you know...I really think women are more attractive when they are in their 20s and so I will also be...if that makes sense?

Would you rather have the perfect person for your life at 40? Or an "attractive" person now? Looks are only for a time, but that person's personality and who they are will last forever.

Just saying that if you're worried that God will wait (it's His plan, not yours so we all have to be patient) until your 40 because women won't be attractive anymore I think you've got the wrong idea in my mind. I'm sure God will find someone you are attracted to whether you are in your 20s or 40s.

 

[Knee V]

I think it is fine to pray for one. However, I would pray for a wife, not a girlfriend.

 

[nhisname]

Hello all, didnt really know where to put this so Ill put it here, Is it wrong to pray for a lady? Now I have met so many pretty women as a drinker and messed up all my relationships due to drinking! Now I am trying to turn my life around and meet good girls, but I dont know how to behave or where to meet them? I am praying that god sends me a beautiful women who believes in him and would like me for me........Pretty lonely lately guys, seems like everyone has a relationship and when I had one last year I loved it...It was nice to have a person who actually liked me and wanted to hang with me, I never experienced that before and it felt great and really helped my self esteem. Well she broke my heart and here I am again single. Is it wrong to pray for that? Do any of you struggle with lonliness? I am 23 and have never been in a relationship that has lasted past 2 months literally....wth is wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you. You need to fall in love with Jesus first. Get in his word pray and learn patience from the Lord and with yourself.

 

[trentlogain2]

There is nothing wrong with you. You need to fall in love with Jesus first. Get in his word pray and learn patience from the Lord and with yourself.

ditto.

seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

It seems like you pigeoin holed him to make he look like a bad person.

We all have bad/foolish/immature periods of our lives. We're all "bad" at one time or another. I don't believe in sugar-coating the truth or walking on eggshells to spare someone's feelings. I did make sure to point out that it's NEVER too late for him - or for anyone - to change their behaviors and get on a new, better path for the future.

He admitted that his past behavior was not the right way and has changed that.

Which is fine, but since that "past" was pretty recent, and he doesn't exactly have a track record (yet) of good, healthy behaviors, advising him to jump into a new relationship isn't wise.

There is nothing wrong with looking for a wife.

Unless you're too young and immature to be a husband, and I firmly believe a 23 year old college student with a history of ruining relationships via uncontrolled consumption of alcohol fits into that. Once he's grown up, matured, and established a new history of living a more adult lifestyle, THEN I'd say think about starting a new relationship.

I think alot of people go through similiar things in younger ages with alcohol and relationship and some people dont find god or there own natural confidence until they are older...

Which is why I advised this guy (and I'd say the same to just about anyone at 23 years old) to WAIT until they've matured and gotten more established as a responsible adult.

 

[Ark100]

Hello all, didnt really know where to put this so Ill put it here, Is it wrong to pray for a lady? Now I have met so many pretty women as a drinker and messed up all my relationships due to drinking! Now I am trying to turn my life around and meet good girls, but I dont know how to behave or where to meet them? I am praying that god sends me a beautiful women who believes in him and would like me for me........Pretty lonely lately guys, seems like everyone has a relationship and when I had one last year I loved it...It was nice to have a person who actually liked me and wanted to hang with me, I never experienced that before and it felt great and really helped my self esteem. Well she broke my heart and here I am again single. Is it wrong to pray for that? Do any of you struggle with lonliness? I am 23 and have never been in a relationship that has lasted past 2 months literally....wth is wrong with me?

First things first. Would a father give a corvette to a son who can't ride his bicycle well enough yet?
Theres a lot of meaning in that.

The word of God says in Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the LORD, and HE will give you the desires of your heart"

It does not matter what everyone around you is doing. You are not them, you are you. Delight yourself in God. Focus on Jesus, let Him work on you, let Him change you. You seem(ed) to have some issues with drinking, low self esteem, lack of confidence etc. You need help with those things first.

My first sentence simple means if God sends you the one He destined for you NOW. You will mess it up because you re still learning. You are still in the maturing and changing process. And during these process, you have to focus on God for only He can change you and make you into what he destined for you.

Stop worrying about women and girlfriend and let God work in you. Focus on Him for now. You can't handle a girlfriend right now and from your past story, its obvious. Work on you first

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I don't see anything wrong with praying for a girlfriend. But just don't turn it into your obsession/idol. As in don't think about it all day, don't go to dating sites all day. Don't let it control you. Just live your life and God will take care of it if it is in his will for you to find someone. Mind you at just 16 I didn't do that and let it control me. It lead me down terrible paths. It wasn't until I was older that I learned to let God handle it while I lived my life.