I know a guy who got his girlfriend pregnant. They say they love each other but don't seem to want to get married. What do you think? Is getting pregnant a good reason to get married?
Is it wrong to get married because she's pregnant?
- Thread starter Hipsterz
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The prognosis is not good in any case. They shouldn't have been having sex if they were doing it without intent to marry, they did, so now they need to figure out how to make a life.
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bricklayer
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Yeah, if they're going to end up divorced in the future, why bother getting married in the first place?
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Well, in the OT, if you had premarital sex, you had to marry the person you had sex with.
Exodus 22:16-17, "If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins."
Deuteronomy 22:28-29, "If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girls father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days."
I could see how it'd be a good reason, but do they really love each other? That should be the real reason. However, pre-marital sex is not God's ideal. Both should seek forgiveness.
Exodus 22:16-17, "If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins."
Deuteronomy 22:28-29, "If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girls father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days."
I could see how it'd be a good reason, but do they really love each other? That should be the real reason. However, pre-marital sex is not God's ideal. Both should seek forgiveness.
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Verticordious
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A person should get married only if they intend on honoring their promise of a life-long commitment. Most people these days don't understand what love is. Love is a decision, not a feeling, though love often does result in feelings. Part of love is honoring your commitments even when you don't feel like. I don't know these people, obviously, so I can't say for sure, but given their pre-marital relations it seems unlikely that they understand what love is or what commitment is. It is unfortunate that this child was born to an unwed couple, but starting an uncommitted marriage isn't going to solve the problem. Perhaps this couple could get married at some point in the future, but as for right now it seems like they have some personal issues to work out and some growing up to do before they can handle marriage.
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Cabal
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No, absolutely not. If they don't want to remain together, they should come to some arrangement about visitation, child support etc. but they should be free to pursue other relationships - hopefully a little wiser for the experience. Forcing themselves to remain together when they don't want to will only result in more misery for the child.
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Actually, it is a pity that they did not know that if you have a sexual relation without any precautionary measures, it is sure that the girl is going to get pregnant.
And to top it, they don't even want to get married? Then why on earth did they have sex?
Any ways, it is not true that you have to get pregnant if you want to get married . This is entirely the couples' decision.
If they wanted to eventually get married then they should have waited for a while. But here they did not want to get married and still they had a physical relationship.
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Sometimes precautionary measures fail- we don't know if they used contraceptives or not.
Many people want to have sex without wanting to get married. You don't feel that way, that's great, but not everyone thinks like you do.
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Is it wrong? No. Is it stupid? Perhaps. Pregnancy isn't a good reason to get married. A baby isn't insurance toward a successful marriage.
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Well, this might depend on whether there is a God who looks down from heaven, eyes fixed on the actions of two individuals, 24/7, ....or not.
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FreeSpirit74
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Contraceptives or not - unless the two people have discussed the possibility of pregnancy, and they have a well-thought-out game plan set in stone as to how they will deal with a pregnancy should one occur, they should NOT be having actual intercourse. IMO intercourse is overrated; there are other ways to give your partner pleasure than that, and those ways will not result in, or allow the risk of, a pregnancy.
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Verv
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A good question, my Hipster friend.
I would say it is a good decision.
As a Christian I would get married to a woman that I loved who was pregnant with my child as the next part of the duty is to provide the child with the best possible home; such a home involves having both loving parents present.
If I did not love the woman and she was pregnant with my kid I do not think I would marry her though I would see if I could love her and if that was the case I would get married.
I think that people need to make sacrifices for their children. Marriage in many ways can be a sacrifice of one's own freedom.
I think that Christians have a different standard fo behavior than some other people on this but overall in generally conservative societies sex before marriage is more frowned upon than in even conservative Christian societies within the US.
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As an earlier poster mentioned the Bible says they should get married, so if they don't that's one wrong. But....if they do and it is not in their hearts, they would be making vows before God they really didn't mean. So, should they lie before God or live with the sin and consequences? God does forgive, but should you intentionally sin?
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