Is it wrong to date while I am still married

[michael28]

I am just lonely. I have a divorce pending. And my ex who is not a christian. is with another man. I have been going through a divorce now for over a year. She is trying to drag it out as long as she can. I am just tired of not having a woman in my life. It's just not for sex. I miss having a woman next to me watching tv or going to a movie. I am starting to get depressed. I have to admit I am a man that needs a woman in my life.

 

[mamaneenie]

Have you been to counselling. Just because your soon to be ex-wife has found another partner, doesn't mean you should be as well.


Examine your conscience and let the Holy Spirit be your guide. Personally I would wait until after the divorce, and a bit of counselling before even considering dating again. You probably need to grieve the loss of marriage and learn to be by yourself again for a while.

 

[SelfProtect]

IMHO, your in a dangerous position to consider dating. Until we are totally complete in our singleness we could enter a relationship and dismiss all warning signs about this new relationship. We can create turmoil for ourselves by being in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone. I too am divorced. I had a horrible marriage - my ex was a serial-cheater. I think I stayed with him because I didn't want to be alone. But you come to realize it is worse to be IN a relationship and lonely than to not be in a relationship and be lonely.

Have you learned about yourself and the mistakes you made in the marriage or even the mistakes to entering a bad marriage. Enter a journey of self discovery. Get to know/love yourself then you will be able to set boundaries to ensure you are loved by the next one. I completely enjoyed myself for 10 months after my divorce before I started dating. Now, I'm learning how to date. Counseling is a very good suggestion to help you through this difficult time.

 

[looksgood]

I am afraid I would have to agree with selfprotect.

 

[Stanfi]

IMHO, your in a dangerous position to consider dating. Until we are totally complete in our singleness we could enter a relationship and dismiss all warning signs about this new relationship. We can create turmoil for ourselves by being in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone. I too am divorced. I had a horrible marriage - my ex was a serial-cheater. I think I stayed with him because I didn't want to be alone. But you come to realize it is worse to be IN a relationship and lonely than to not be in a relationship and be lonely.
Have you learned about yourself and the mistakes you made in the marriage or even the mistakes to entering a bad marriage. Enter a journey of self discovery. Get to know/love yourself then you will be able to set boundaries to ensure you are loved by the next one. I completely enjoyed myself for 10 months after my divorce before I started dating. Now, I'm learning how to date. Counseling is a very good suggestion to help you through this difficult time.

Ditto on self protect. The voice of truth and experience cuts the air like a sword. Amen!

 

[michael28]

Thank You for all the responses. I am having a hard time forgiving her. Since she has been with this guy for over 10 years. She has not been seeing him the whole time since we have been married. I am angry that she moved this guy in with my daughter living in the house. I don't know if I can ever forgive her.

 

[desi]

If she cheated on you and you are divorcing her it is done. You can date again. Just because the legal system is slow does not mean your decision is pending. You are free to move on.

God bless your future relationship.

 

[jenptcfan]

I would think if I were in the situation I would need a lot of time to grieve the loss of the marriage before moving on to someone else (not everyone is like me and I think different people need different amounts of time)...anyway, from the outside looking in, I think it would be best to wait until the divorce is final and just use the time from now until then picking up the pieces and getting everything straight and figuring out what you learned from your past marriage.

That's not based on any kind of biblical thing...it's just what I think I would need to do if I were in the situation you're in. I think it would be better to wait awhile to date than possibly jumping into something because you're having a hard time adjusting to being alone. That wouldn't be fair to the person you were dating.

At any rate, good luck to you! May God bless you!

 

[RED that's ME]

You need to get some counseling a program my church has is DivorceCare. If you don't get help you will be bringing old problems into a new relationship whether you realize it or not.

 

[DeliveranceMinister2]

Find strength in the Lord by Bible study. Don't think about finding another wife. I use to think that way . I have been alone for 10 years now. I have learned to accept what the Lord has for the day and not think about what I want. It's ok to ask him for a wife . Let's see if he wants it.
Helena
deliverance-express.com

 

[doclkk]

What is it that counseling has that either the Bible or a friend does not?