is it wrong to be involved with someone in your church?

[DYOLF]

interesting thread.Well as a pk i would have to answer from exp.I went out with a girl outside of my church who was a unbeliever.Me thinking she would change was kind of my position on the matter.I would never bring her around my parents.Well lets just say God open my eyes and I left her.It was hard.Well after several years.I got lonely.And I prayed to God and said" Adam had Eve, My mom has my dad, My cousin(I said his name and his wife name who are both pastors) has his wife.I want someone.The very next day i met the girl that is going to soon be my wife.Well not soon 2 more years but we have already been together for 3 years.And let me tell you the way we found out that God was in charge of the whole thing was.That we have everything down to the wierd things in common and what i lack she was great at.Like i hate math she loves math.I love history she hates it.She the out the blue told me that someone prayed for her and told her that she was going to meet someone who was going to be her other half a pastor from puerto rico.Who was also going to evangelize and a few other things .And his last name is going to be Ortiz.Well let me tell you she did not know what my last name was.And I turned white like casper.And asked her to repeat that.about 3 times. And when she told me everything in detail and a dream she also had.years prior to me knowing her.I told her my last name and she fliped.Point being I am in a very veryyyyyyyyy happy relationship.And I feel that Church is a place to meet people yes.But I say let god pick who you need.Because when god does it he does it in a perfect way.My relationship is perfect. God made it that way and I am sure that if you let God show you the person he has in mind for you.You will never regret waiting for that.Get close with God and be honest with God.For when you need a someone he will put a someone

What a testimony,this is so uplifting.As many as are lead by the spirit of God these are the children of God.

 

[DYOLF]

This may come along as random, but was hoping to get some views or advice on this. As a PK, well in my family the number one rule that was set was to NEVER to be involved with a guy in the church family. (me and my sisters) and my brother was never to be with any girl. Yes they are church family and our role as PK's is to treat them like our immediate family. My parents have always been against the idea. Is it so wrong though? - Like whats the dealio? yes its part of tradition and all, but is it more of a sin too if its seen this way? - I just ask coz yeah i have a similar situation.

There's a reason why your parents do not want you to date within.As Pastors they have to rule their own house hold well.What they do not want is a situation where say a relationship goes wrong,the politics and gossip that goes with it.It is difficult to have an independent relationship if you are a PK in the same church,getting a girl people expect too much from you.It also depends on the size of the church and the smaller the church the worse the problem.Please note that your parents are not saying do not date Christians but just within your specific church.

If you however see someone you like,you can pray a lot about it before you make a move.Once you are sure God is in that relationship you can approach your parents and they will not hinder you.Let God direct you,just remove the flesh from the whole decision making process.

 

[daffirose]

I think it because say you started to go out with this guy. He got into some difficulty and needed help from the pastor (your father or mother), some how other people in the church may decide to misconstrue what is happening and think he is getting extra or something. Plus if it goes wrong between you and you both needed spiritual support throughout it could get tough. Its about setting boundaries. Certainly it considered wrong for a pastor to be involved with someone in the same church he is pastor at even if its a justifiable relationship. They have to tred very carefully. So it the same for anyone in the Pastor's family.
Is the relationship serious at all. if so can you not talk to your mother about the guy and see if there is a way you both can persue a genuine relationship in a 'tasteful' way. If its just dating for dating sake, then no. But if you think there is some real love there then talk to your mother and doors may well open

 

[Acosens]

Just explain to your parents that if you get involved with someone at your church your parents will know who they are and where they stand on their beliefs versus not knowing with someone outside the church

 

[rossignol]

Being a PK is a pressure put on you that you had no choice in. You are held to a higher standard and your parent's livelihood partly depends on how you act. Whether this is right or wrong isn't the issue.

Church is the place to meet potential mates. If you feel disconnected from people because your a PK that will distance you from God in the future. Whatever the fear is of your parents I urge you to stay honest and real now. Your actions will affect them but most importantly they will affect you.

 

[misjudgedinall]

my dad always said, don't dip your pen in company ink

 

[freebiblelessons]

Well I don't think there is a hard and fast rule here. I am a PK and I married a girl from our church. Isn't that the best place to meet someone? Should I have went to a different church to meet someone? lol

 

[sunsurfkdt]

If your parents say no, then you should do what they say. Then you're honoring G-d by being obedient to your parents. I know , parents make a lot of rules we don't like...but, we must obey. I do think church is one of the best places to meet people. But you're parents , being pastors , must have a legitimate reason.