This may come along as random, but was hoping to get some views or advice on this. As a PK, well in my family the number one rule that was set was to NEVER to be involved with a guy in the church family. (me and my sisters) and my brother was never to be with any girl. Yes they are church family and our role as PK's is to treat them like our immediate family. My parents have always been against the idea. Is it so wrong though? - Like whats the dealio? yes its part of tradition and all, but is it more of a sin too if its seen this way? - I just ask coz yeah i have a similar situation.
is it wrong to be involved with someone in your church?
- Thread starter skuxess
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The bible says not to marry an unbeleiver.
Therefore we should marry fellow believers.
Where else is a Christian supposed to find a mate, if not in church?
Best place to find a mate is in church if you are christian!
Therefore we should marry fellow believers.
Where else is a Christian supposed to find a mate, if not in church?
Best place to find a mate is in church if you are christian!
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Forealzchola
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no its not wrong..and there is nothing biblical about your parents rule..that is just their rule...you are to marry a believer and it would make sense to me to look around the believers among you. it is not a sin at all....and i dont believe it would be a sin either to do otherwise because you are a grown adult 18+ you dont have to follow everything or even anything your parents say anymore...legally or spiritually speaking. God bless
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It takes a lot of maturity to date people at church. If you break up, it can be uncomfortable and one person usually ends up leaving that congregation, which is a shame.
I think churches over-mysticize the process of finding a mate. Churches need to be more practical.
Also, they need to stop being contradictory. On the one hand, they say "Don't be unequally yoked" but on the other hand, they preach stuff like "If you spend too much time with a girl friend or boyfriend then it is idolatry and you must end the relationship." At least, thats how my former church was. The internal inconsistency makes finding a mate near impossible.
I think churches over-mysticize the process of finding a mate. Churches need to be more practical.
Also, they need to stop being contradictory. On the one hand, they say "Don't be unequally yoked" but on the other hand, they preach stuff like "If you spend too much time with a girl friend or boyfriend then it is idolatry and you must end the relationship." At least, thats how my former church was. The internal inconsistency makes finding a mate near impossible.
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J
JosephOrtiz
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interesting thread.Well as a pk i would have to answer from exp.I went out with a girl outside of my church who was a unbeliever.Me thinking she would change was kind of my position on the matter.I would never bring her around my parents.Well lets just say God open my eyes and I left her.It was hard.Well after several years.I got lonely.And I prayed to God and said" Adam had Eve, My mom has my dad, My cousin(I said his name and his wife name who are both pastors) has his wife.I want someone.The very next day i met the girl that is going to soon be my wife.Well not soon 2 more years but we have already been together for 3 years.And let me tell you the way we found out that God was in charge of the whole thing was.That we have everything down to the wierd things in common and what i lack she was great at.Like i hate math she loves math.I love history she hates it.She the out the blue told me that someone prayed for her and told her that she was going to meet someone who was going to be her other half 
a pastor from puerto rico.Who was also going to evangelize and a few other things .And his last name is going to be Ortiz.Well let me tell you she did not know what my last name was.And I turned white like casper.And asked her to repeat that.about 3 times. And when she told me everything in detail and a dream she also had.years prior to me knowing her.I told her my last name and she fliped.Point being I am in a very veryyyyyyyyy happy relationship.And I feel that Church is a place to meet people yes.But I say let god pick who you need.Because when god does it he does it in a perfect way.My relationship is perfect. God made it that way and I am sure that if you let God show you the person he has in mind for you.You will never regret waiting for that.Get close with God and be honest with God.For when you need a someone he will put a someone
a pastor from puerto rico.Who was also going to evangelize and a few other things .And his last name is going to be Ortiz.Well let me tell you she did not know what my last name was.And I turned white like casper.And asked her to repeat that.about 3 times. And when she told me everything in detail and a dream she also had.years prior to me knowing her.I told her my last name and she fliped.Point being I am in a very veryyyyyyyyy happy relationship.And I feel that Church is a place to meet people yes.But I say let god pick who you need.Because when god does it he does it in a perfect way.My relationship is perfect. God made it that way and I am sure that if you let God show you the person he has in mind for you.You will never regret waiting for that.Get close with God and be honest with God.For when you need a someone he will put a someone
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divineelements
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Coming from experience (as I am married to my Pastor's youngest son), dating can be difficult. You open yourself up to criticism from the congregation and everyone wants to know your business. If you aren't seriously considering marrying the person, the best idea would be not to be as vocal about dating the particular person.
However, as you do want to be married to someone who is saved and feels about Christ as you do, I can totally understand the concept.
However, as you do want to be married to someone who is saved and feels about Christ as you do, I can totally understand the concept.
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You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. It helps to realize that it doesn't matter what the congregation thinks, IT ISN'T THEIR BUSINESS.
YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS IS YOUR OWN.
Never let anyone come at you with verses like "Don't cause your brother to stumble" or "Avoid the appearance of evil" as a means of meddling in your life.
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no its not wrong, in fact its right....because you would be involved with a believer. the only wrong here is your parents
But in all seriousness Jesus said to obey your parents. if they really don't want you to, dont go against their wishes.
But in all seriousness Jesus said to obey your parents. if they really don't want you to, dont go against their wishes.
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true story, it made me quit going to the church my family went to and almost made me quit going all together for awhile. regardless i came back to it after the awkwardness went away but it wasn't worth the time spent away from the church i feel like is home.
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Within reason. One has to use commonsense, obviously if I am an adult and my parents tell me to do something that I believe is incorrect, I'd be foolish to obey them. There are parts in the gospels where Jesus's earthly family was thinking he was going off the rails, but he continued to do what he knew he had to do even if his family didn't understand it.
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If your parents said no, then it will be wrong to do so.
Respect your parents, one of the ten commandments.
Respect your parents, one of the ten commandments.
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aw thanks guys for the responses well its been ages since I last rpelied but this has all helped me - I think I know where I will be heading from here - blessings to you all
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CFDavid
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Wow. I really disagree.
Though I think that once you're out from under your parents' roof, some things change, I still think there are many times when you need to look to your parents for wisdom and guidance, and if they say yes or no, it could very well be a duty to be followed.
I'm not sure how you honor your parents if you don't allow them any say in your life even after some arbitrary age. Perhaps once you're married, much of that is no longer necessary, but I think it's usually best to err on the side of obedience.
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xygtfalcon
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I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary dating a girl who goes to my church. I personally don't see anything wrong with dating someone from your own church, however, I had too been advised by friends not to do it.
Being a Pastors Kid I talked to my Dad before we started dating to see how he felt about the situation and whether we seemed okay for each other. Him being okay with it things went ahead.
I think the most important thing to do would be to have a mature discussion with your parents on the topic making sure you don't go into an argumentative mode but keep it strictly as a discussion.
Being a Pastors Kid I talked to my Dad before we started dating to see how he felt about the situation and whether we seemed okay for each other. Him being okay with it things went ahead.
I think the most important thing to do would be to have a mature discussion with your parents on the topic making sure you don't go into an argumentative mode but keep it strictly as a discussion.
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mandyangel
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i think its fine, people meet eachother in the church all the time. it should be a place for christ like people to find love. i see nothing wrong with it.
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Wow. In our old church, people were discouraged from meeting people in any other way. You could get to know someone and then date them in your small group OR you could be fixed up by your small group leader. Any other relationship was deemed risky, dangerous or sinful.
I think that it's OK to go against your parents on something like this, but I'd have a good sit down with them and find out why they feel the way they do. If you choose to go against their wishes, you can still do it with respect.
Edited to add: To be clear, I think our old church's view is pretty messed up and wouldn't suggest it.
I think that it's OK to go against your parents on something like this, but I'd have a good sit down with them and find out why they feel the way they do. If you choose to go against their wishes, you can still do it with respect.
Edited to add: To be clear, I think our old church's view is pretty messed up and wouldn't suggest it.
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