Is it wrong for a Christian man to listen to advice from dating coaches or is that using manipulation tactics ?

[QuestionQuest74]

Is listening to dating coaches wrong as a Christian man or is that using manipulation tactics?

 

[PloverWing]

It depends on the advice you're getting from dating coaches. If they're just coaching you in basic social skills (how to be polite, how to keep a conversation going, etc.), then that should be fine. If they're coaching you in how to manipulate your date into doing what you want, then that's morally troublesome.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Is listening to dating coaches wrong as a Christian man or is that using manipulation tactics?

... I generally agree with what sister @PloverWing has said above. The only qualifier I'd add is that it might matter what sort of psychology and philosophy (and social ideology) the particular "dating coach" offers you. I mean, are you referring to someone overtly liberal like Dr. Ruth Westheimer or some similar but random, liberal youtuber "dating coach"? If so, you, as a Christian man, will need to very carefully deliberate and discern the quality of what it is you're being advised about.

I'm not against Secularists offering up some useful pieces of social advice. They often have some very helpful thoughts and information. But sometimes too, depending on their social and political orientations, they might be telling you a few things about how to relate with a woman that you may want to steer clear of. If the coach is worth their salt and their professional appeal, then they'll be giving you practical and ethical advice about how to relate with a woman on various levels rather than alledged sessions on merely "how to have better sex."

 

[eleos1954]

Is listening to dating coaches wrong as a Christian man or is that using manipulation tactics?

One's best "coach" in regard to relationships is the Word of God.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

One's best "coach" in regard to relationships is the Word of God.

It is but how much can we know from the Bible in this aspect?

 

[eleos1954]

It is but how much can we know from the Bible in this aspect?

The life of Jesus is our example of how we are to treat one another (in all relationships) .... study His life. We endeavor to pattern our lives after His ... we are constantly being sanctified throughout our earthly lives ... becoming more Christ like. We have flawed characters .... even so ... by spending time with Him through His written word and through prayer ... slowly but surely we move forward and He helps us do that.

Philippians 1:6

AMPC
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

If we are willing .... He is willing ... and will continue His work.

Christ Is Our Example​

21 For you have been called for this purpose, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you would follow in His steps,

John 13:34​

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

Agape love .... not an emotion ... but a principle .... putting others before self.

 

[com7fy8]

Is listening to dating coaches wrong as a Christian man or is that using manipulation tactics?

If the person is giving you advice for how to share with a woman whom he or she doesn't even know, you could be manipulating yourself.

And there are woman who know how to go along with general ways or your way of relating, so they can use you.

But I note that you ask various questions about how to get with and share with a woman. But how much are we dealing with how to seek God and how He has us loving any and all people?

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" Jesus says, in Matthew 5:46.

There are people who love and marry the ones they want to use for what they want. And this approach has produced the "over fifty-percent divorce rate" we see in the United States.

You do not need to be taught and counseled how to put on some act that might control how a woman sees you and relates with you.

A selfish woman can go along with you until she gets you hooked.

So, God through Jesus is our way to real love and relating. Every thing in His word can help us somehow, in our relating, even if parts do not directly deal with loving and relating.

 

[tturt]

The Golden Rule is a good starting point.

 

[Sketcher]

What kinds of relationships is the dating coach in question geared towards? If the emphasis is on reaching the goal of fornication, then you should probably look elsewhere for advice. Not just from the perspective of sin, but also on the basis of that particular focus training you to look for immoral people and shallow relationships as opposed to finding someone who is good for a lasting relationship, and how to keep building a lasting relationship. You are what you build yourself up to be through your choices. Make the right choices for your end goal.

 

[linux.poet]

It depends on the dating coach. You want to be clear with them that you're looking for a marriage/long-term relationship, instead of looking for a rotation of women to sleep with. What works for the latter will not work for the former.

You likely want counsel on good communication with women in a romantic context. If you're looking for content, gravitate toward content about relationships that is filmed by married couples. There are a lot of married Christian YouTubers out there who peel back the curtain into communication in their relationships and what it looks like. Try Jordan Taylor's YouTube channel. Focusing on the goal of a marriage relationship will allow you to communicate with women in a way that tells them you're a good marriage partner, and avoid the minefield of taking on manipulative advice that is counterproductive and attracts the wrong kind of women you don't want.