Is it too late for me to be married?

[Christ_inMe93]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I had sex after becoming saved. I have repented and have been getting closer to God this year and He has done so much for me since. But I read somewhere that if you had pre marital sex after becoming born again then God won’t send you a husband (I’m a woman), because you disobeyed Him. Is this true? I have always wanted to be married and am so disappointed with myself for disobeying God and trying to control my situation. Now I’m afraid because I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for me anymore because I went outside of His will. If that is the case then I will accept my punishment, but would like advice from other believers. Thanks

 

[HTacianas]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I had sex after becoming saved. I have repented and have been getting closer to God this year and He has done so much for me since. But I read somewhere that if you had pre marital sex after becoming born again then God won’t send you a husband (I’m a woman), because you disobeyed Him. Is this true? I have always wanted to be married and am so disappointed with myself for disobeying God and trying to control my situation. Now I’m afraid because I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for me anymore because I went outside of His will. If that is the case then I will accept my punishment, but would like advice from other believers. Thanks

In short, no. Not sending you a husband as punishment isn't part of it.

 

[Neogaia777]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I had sex after becoming saved. I have repented and have been getting closer to God this year and He has done so much for me since. But I read somewhere that if you had pre marital sex after becoming born again then God won’t send you a husband (I’m a woman), because you disobeyed Him. Is this true? I have always wanted to be married and am so disappointed with myself for disobeying God and trying to control my situation. Now I’m afraid because I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for me anymore because I went outside of His will. If that is the case then I will accept my punishment, but would like advice from other believers. Thanks

God won't send you a good husband until you can show yourself worthy of him/it.

The having sex part that you mentioned might just show that you're not ready for a good one yet, etc.

But take care of all of that, and God will send you a good one sometime after that, etc.

God Bless.

 

[timewerx]

I've heard stories of 80 year olds finding each other and getting married. Not very common but certainly never too late!

 

[Richard T]

You have to see Jesus more like a great brother or sister. He has so much compassion and care. If you have a nice sibling and told them your story, are they likely to just want to punish you? Absolutely not. Disappointed, yes if Christian but they want to set you straight. Those desires are from God, you just used them the wrong way. Better to marry than have passion with no marriage. Sex can be a life wrecker if you do not repent but if you are genuine you are not a lost sheep out in the desert with no hope. I know because I made the switch. I wandered aimlessly for years but when I got serious God was truly amazing in bringing me someone to share with. His plan is always best. Sin for a season is way overrated. I pray you stay the course and have faith that God has someone for you. You are forgiven sister. It is not a free pass though to keep trying to sin, it is a free pass to keep trying to serve.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

God won't send you a good husband until you can show yourself worthy of him/it.

The having sex part that you mentioned might just show that you're not ready for a good one yet, etc.

But take care of all of that, and God will send you a good one sometime after that, etc.

God Bless.

Okay thank you so much that makes sense. This year God has really been pruning my heart, it’s been hard but I am grateful for Him caring enough to expose myself to me and help me change. Thank you

 

[Neogaia777]

Okay thank you so much that makes sense. This year God has really been pruning my heart, it’s been hard but I am grateful for Him caring enough to expose myself to me and help me change. Thank you

God Bless.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

You have to see Jesus more like a great brother or sister. He has so much compassion and care. If you have a nice sibling and told them your story, are they likely to just want to punish you? Absolutely not. Disappointed, yes if Christian but they want to set you straight. Those desires are from God, you just used them the wrong way. Better to marry than have passion with no marriage. Sex can be a life wrecker if you do not repent but if you are genuine you are not a lost sheep out in the desert with no hope. I know because I made the switch. I wandered aimlessly for years but when I got serious God was truly amazing in bringing me someone to share with. His plan is always best. Sin for a season is way overrated. I pray you stay the course and have faith that God has someone for you. You are forgiven sister. It is not a free pass though to keep trying to sin, it is a free pass to keep trying to serve.

Yes I am learning His way is always the best. I hate that I ever thought I could do things my way but I pray He will bring me someone also. I’ve been praying against idolatry because I think me idolizing marriage and wanting a partner so badly is what led me to sin anyway. Thank you so much for the perspective of Christ being like an older brother to us. Sometimes I struggle with thinking that He “holds” our sins against us and it makes me think I can’t mess up or that’s it for me. Thank you so much

 

[com7fy8]

Instead of wanting, prepare. Pray . . . trust God to change you so you are how He wants you to be, for marriage. And feed on scripture about how to relate with Christian brothers and sisters. And share with mature people who can feed you their example of how they are with God and how they relate in marriage and with others.

Keep investing in this, and appreciate how we can have real love and intimacy now with God and with all our obedient brothers and sisters. And see if and how this brings you together with a genuine Christian brother.

And possibly - - - if you belong with each other, it will be obvious how you help each other to grow in Jesus. I offer that a real Christian brother will welcome you to make sure with God and evaluate him.

And I think I have seen how a lady can so "love" a guy, but she does not trust him!! I mean how she can be afraid to talk with him about things she is concerned about. Why would you even start getting close to a guy you do not trust?

Why would we isolate on a date with someone we do not know enough to see if God has us trust that person??

With God, he won't be pressuring you for sex, and you will not be in a hurry for marriage but trusting God for His timing.

 

[Richard T]

Yes I am learning His way is always the best. I hate that I ever thought I could do things my way but I pray He will bring me someone also. I’ve been praying against idolatry because I think me idolizing marriage and wanting a partner so badly is what led me to sin anyway. Thank you so much for the perspective of Christ being like an older brother to us. Sometimes I struggle with thinking that He “holds” our sins against us and it makes me think I can’t mess up or that’s it for me. Thank you so much

Your welcome, just don't let the accuser torment you. My rereading this teaching helped my faith for a mate. https://events.rhema.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/LM45-Matter-of-a-Mate_2018.pdf I am convinced too that God's default position is that He put in our hearts to be married, so I think it is healthy to want that but just be careful as to the boundaries as you meet suitors along the way. I pray too that you will not have a struggle knowing the right one, that you can put spiritual things first so that you are not overwhelmed etc. when you meet someone. God bless.

 

[timewerx]

Sometimes I struggle with thinking that He “holds” our sins against us and it makes me think I can’t mess up or that’s it for me.

I am also dealing with the same problem but my past sins are worse than the sin you did.

Jesus made peace with an adulterer in the Bible. You have nothing to worry about as long as you have repented of your sins.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm not going to say it's impossible, but you certainly reduced the pool of men who would be interested in marrying you. At least some of them would have been fine husbands, too. You have to become the kind of woman that a fine would-be husband would want to marry. I wish you well.

 

[Lost4words]

God is mercy and love. He knows your needs, your desires. He also knows that we are prone to sin.

I fail all the time!

The only thing we can do is turn back to God, repent and try harder.

Your life partner may very well be around the next corner!

God bless you

P.s...A friend of mine got married at 150! Mind you, that is in dog years!!

 

[RBPerry]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I had sex after becoming saved. I have repented and have been getting closer to God this year and He has done so much for me since. But I read somewhere that if you had pre marital sex after becoming born again then God won’t send you a husband (I’m a woman), because you disobeyed Him. Is this true? I have always wanted to be married and am so disappointed with myself for disobeying God and trying to control my situation. Now I’m afraid because I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for me anymore because I went outside of His will. If that is the case then I will accept my punishment, but would like advice from other believers. Thanks

You have repented and you must forgive yourself as well. Look at the things King David did and once he repented God called him a man after his own heart. Jesus died for all our sins. If your heart is right, I don't believe he will keep you from finding true love in your life. Whoever wrote that God would punish you by not allowing you to find a husband is wrong to lay that kind of guilt on someone. God Bless you

 

[Joseph G]

You have repented and you must forgive yourself as well. Look at the things King David did and once he repented God called him a man after his own heart. Jesus died for all our sins. If your heart is right, I don't believe he will keep you from finding true love in your life. Whoever wrote that God would punish you by not allowing you to find a husband is wrong to lay that kind of guilt on someone. God Bless you

That's right. A FORMER adulterer, murderer, false witness, deceiver, command-defying King (the census), whose sins cost his family and his nation dearly - and yet whose name Jesus bears as the Son of David (directly descendent of David's line), Who sits on David's throne, whose city bears the title City of David, and the nation's flag which bears the Star of David. Pretty mind-boggling, no?

Not really. Considering that God, Who cannot lie, promised all these things to David irregardless, including how He would handle the afforementioned sins. 2 Samuel 7:8-16 NKJV

David's sins did not alter his identity in Christ. [mic drop]

Same promises made to us: "I will never leave you nor forsake you", "I will remember your sins no more", "I will remove your sins as far as the east is from the west", and most poignantly to those particular sins that we've repented of, yet still fearfully expect some type of punitive punishment anyway - there's this:

Psalm 103:10 NIV

"He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."

Let go!

You clearly, imho, have the desire to marry subordinant to your dedication to your First Love, so dare to continue to pray and hope because He does want to give us the desires of our hearts - still.

He did with me. Like you, I figured I had blown it, but kept praying anyway. In His good time I turned a corner (like mentioned above), and boom - there she was. *smile*

God bless! Dare to believe!

p.s. Psalm 103 in it's entirety is an excellent prayer to lift up to God and be awash in His mercy and grace. He loves when we pray His own Words back to Him. And not so ironically, the Psalm is written by King David.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

That's right. A FORMER adulterer, murderer, false witness, deceiver, command-defying King (the census), whose sins cost his family and his nation dearly - and yet whose name Jesus bears as the Son of David (directly descendent of David's line), Who sits on David's throne, whose city bears the title City of David, and the nation's flag which bears the Star of David. Pretty mind-boggling, no?

Not really. Considering that God, Who cannot lie, promised all these things to David irregardless, including how He would handle the afforementioned sins. 2 Samuel 7:8-16 NKJV

David's sins did not alter his identity in Christ. [mic drop]

Same promises made to us: "I will never leave you nor forsake you", "I will remember your sins no more", "I will remove your sins as far as the east is from the west", and most poignantly to those particular sins that we've repented of, yet still fearfully expect some type of punitive punishment anyway - there's this:

Psalm 103:10 NIV

"He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."

Let go!

You clearly, imho, have the desire to marry subordinant to your dedication to your First Love, so dare to continue to pray and hope because He does want to give us the desires of our hearts - still.

He did with me. Like you, I figured I had blown it, but kept praying anyway. In His good time I turned a corner (like mentioned above), and boom - there she was. *smile*

God bless! Dare to believe!

p.s. Psalm 103 in it's entirety is an excellent prayer to lift up to God and be awash in His mercy and grace. He loves when we pray His own Words back to Him. And not so ironically, the Psalm is written by King David.

What a

That's right. A FORMER adulterer, murderer, false witness, deceiver, command-defying King (the census), whose sins cost his family and his nation dearly - and yet whose name Jesus bears as the Son of David (directly descendent of David's line), Who sits on David's throne, whose city bears the title City of David, and the nation's flag which bears the Star of David. Pretty mind-boggling, no?

Not really. Considering that God, Who cannot lie, promised all these things to David irregardless, including how He would handle the afforementioned sins. 2 Samuel 7:8-16 NKJV

David's sins did not alter his identity in Christ. [mic drop]

Same promises made to us: "I will never leave you nor forsake you", "I will remember your sins no more", "I will remove your sins as far as the east is from the west", and most poignantly to those particular sins that we've repented of, yet still fearfully expect some type of punitive punishment anyway - there's this:

Psalm 103:10 NIV

"He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."

Let go!

You clearly, imho, have the desire to marry subordinant to your dedication to your First Love, so dare to continue to pray and hope because He does want to give us the desires of our hearts - still.

He did with me. Like you, I figured I had blown it, but kept praying anyway. In His good time I turned a corner (like mentioned above), and boom - there she was. *smile*

God bless! Dare to believe!

p.s. Psalm 103 in it's entirety is an excellent prayer to lift up to God and be awash in His mercy and grace. He loves when we pray His own Words back to Him. And not so ironically, the Psalm is written by King David.

God is so good, He doesn’t hold things against us like humans do… I really don’t deserve Him and He still loves us anyway.
Thank you for sharing your story also, it gives me hope

 

[Ace777]

Is this true?

You can still get married but if you had sex before then that violates his priesthood. Just like a lot of churches if a pastor gets a divorce they are no longer qualified to be a pastor. We need to set a proper example for people if we want to be in a leadership position. So that is the issue you need to deal with.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

It seems to me most Christians who are actually married these days had premarital sex. Your probably less likely to get married if you've never had premarital sex.

 

[Paul4JC]

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I had sex after becoming saved. I have repented and have been getting closer to God this year and He has done so much for me since. But I read somewhere that if you had pre marital sex after becoming born again then God won’t send you a husband (I’m a woman), because you disobeyed Him. Is this true? I have always wanted to be married and am so disappointed with myself for disobeying God and trying to control my situation. Now I’m afraid because I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for me anymore because I went outside of His will. If that is the case then I will accept my punishment, but would like advice from other believers. Thanks

People who have not failed in that area as you did, may still need to wait many years for the right person. So all I'm saying is timing and circumstances are everything when you let God be the matchmaker. I was 35 when I got married and my wife was 32. We've been happily married for over 23 years.

Don't make it all about your failure. You repented and it's been forgiven. Look forward to what God has for you. Stay in his word and prayer.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

People who have not failed in that area as you did, may still need to wait many years for the right person. So all I'm saying is timing and circumstances are everything when you let God be the matchmaker. I was 35 when I got married and my wife was 32. We've been happily married for over 23 years.

Don't make it all about your failure. You repented and it's been forgiven. Look forward to what God has for you. Stay in his word and prayer.

Thank you for your encouragement to keep my eyes on Christ. God bless