Is it really fair?

[visionary]

You can never fulfill another's vision .. when it is not your own... Let the fellow know God has moved you to respond with a NO to the kind offer. Then cut off the communication, and do not partipate in another dating scene until it is in your heart to be a man's helpmeet.

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

thanks for the replies. i will address them tomorrow. just wanted to let you know i haven't forgotten my post. just too tired to reply tonight.

 

[freeport]

Oh, and btw Jesus never said that we couldn't call anyone on earth father. You're taking that out of context.

No, I am not, and the Name of God was never "lost", Hebrew does not have vowels, but the meaning of the Name was kept.

The context - there is no need for context for that verse - Jesus said quite plainly, "Call no one on earth your father".

Matthew 23:8-10 (New International Version)


8"But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. 9And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. 10Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ.[a]
Footnotes:

1. Matthew 23:10 Or Messiah

I do not have to do anything to support such statements, nor do I have to sit here and run over what any such statements mean... because anyone of Christ - and I am sure you are of Christ - is taught by God. But, they are also run through by the wicked powers when in error until they see that is a dead end road and brought to Christ for such matters.


I am just trying to save you heartache and headache from that. Period. Dead serious.

 

[Healed_IHS]

...


Jesus even says not to call anyone on earth our father, but only our Heavenly Father.

And we aren't supposed to call anyone "teacher" either, which includes Dr. Martin Luther King and Dr. Billy Graham. The original meaning of the educational title "doctor" = teacher.

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

be honest.

Now, why didn't I think of that? Lol.

Like Moses had a desire to lead his people out of Egypt?

Let me guess, deleted? lol

No. Just the posts that aren't helpful.

I'm not sure what the problem is. Are you saying this guy is fixated on you and is just thinking you are going to be his wife and is just focusing on you? And at the same time you aren't anywhere near the same place and don't feel any real desire to marry this fellow?

If that's the case, you really need to talk to him about it. Such an unbalance in a relationship creates a lot of problems.

Now the problem might not be with you. The guy might be living a fantasy.

In any case, if you talk to him and you see him doing what ultimately will hurt him, then the kind thing to do is to break it off. You don't want him putting his life on hold for 10 years thinking you are going to change. Who knows, maybe you would, but it doesn't sound like that is likely.

As far as a dating site. It would probably be good to put your feelings about being single and marriage right into your profile. Nothing wrong with it as long as you are honest. If it's assumed you are really looking for marriage simply by being on the site, do something to make it clear how things really are.

That's what I'd really suggest, just tell him and any other guys what you told us. If the guy thinks that's okay and he would still like to spend some time with you, that's fine. Nothing says that single people have to spend every waking moment desparately trying to be married.

I would comment as for the contented single thing, that many of the best marriages are made up of people who were quite content as singles. They are comfortable with themselves and yet at some point they find another whom they enjoy marriage to. Some of those people you read about with all those struggles as singles really don't make good mates. The struggles continue after marriage, it doesn't fix those things they thought it would. Sometimes they just marry whomever will marry them. Anyway, there's a reason why most people run for cover when someone shows up who seems just desparate for marriage and unable to cope with being single.

Marv

I don't know. I kinda get the idea that he's desperate. In each message he keeps typing ,"thanks for writing." Once would have been enough but when it happens every time, you start to wonder. Ya know? But really, your post was helpful. I will defintely keep in mind what you said.

I see no point in a relationship like that if marriage is not on your agenda. That makes things too painful for the guy.

Marriage is God's general design, but not everyone wants to be married. Just check out that this is a lifelong intention though. IT would be sad to later want to be married and find your chances of that much less.

John
NZ

Yeah, and I've had someone do that to me, which is why I don't want to inflict that on anyone else. It may be G-d's will at some point for me to marry someone, I'm just not sure that it's him. I keep thinking, just give him a chance. But, really I'm not feeling it. I admit I have limited experience with dating, which is why I posted this here. But, I'm going to keep praying about it. Thanks for your post. It helped.

*sigh*


As Christians we are called to be Children of God.


I would avoid unnecessary superstitions...



As a Child of God you should feel comfortable addressing your Father. As your Father. Is there a greater Name then that?



If this was not important, I would not say it.

The hyphen I use is not a superstition and you're just plain rude to say that. In fact, the Torah prohibts superstitions. But, you would know that if you weren't so busy being judgemental. I didn't ask for your opinion on how I write G-d. It's none of your business. None at all. So leave your comments to yourself, thank you.

You can never fulfill another's vision .. when it is not your own... Let the fellow know God has moved you to respond with a NO to the kind offer. Then cut off the communication, and do not partipate in another dating scene until it is in your heart to be a man's helpmeet.

Thanks, Vis. This was really the best, most helpful post. You said exactly what I needed to hear. I appreciate it. I think I was already thinking this, I guess this just confirmed it.

 

[annrobert]

Why seek a husband, if you do not want one...

You should not lead the guy on.


God lives in the heart of every Christian, you have to quiet everything else and strive to listen to the Holy Spirit.


I would avoid striving to be uncomfortable with using the word "God", too, something Jews do a lot, writing, "G-d", like that means something. To be totally blunt. God is God.

Such things are of the flesh, not of the Spirit. Of God, we are all called to be children of God, through Jesus.


A personal relationship with God as a child of God means you should be comfortable with God, absolutely enough to use the word -- "God"...

Great post freeport




I think that being straight forward about not wanting to get married is the answer.Especially if you are certain of it.Let the guy know.He is looking to get married and thinks this is answer to prayer ,so best to end this now before he gets hurt.

 

[andreha]

Hey TexasblueBonnet

One thing I know for sure - Your heavenly Father loves you with a mighty passion. Your heart is precious to Him. The last thing He would want is for you to give your heart to someone who won't treasure it. I think the best would be to make some friends - and tell them that you are just looking for friendship. Someone who is willing to be your friend is certainly someone who won't hurt you. That way, you'll be able to separate the ones with bad intentions from the ones with good intentions. But, that's only my opinion. Your Father knows you a whole lot better than I ever will. He'll lead you in all truth.

Blessings
Andre

 

[annrobert]

Hey TexasblueBonnet

One thing I know for sure - Your heavenly Father loves you with a mighty passion. Your heart is precious to Him. The last thing He would want is for you to give your heart to someone who won't treasure it. I think the best would be to make some friends - and tell them that you are just looking for friendship. Someone who is willing to be your friend is certainly someone who won't hurt you. That way, you'll be able to separate the ones with bad intentions from the ones with good intentions. But, that's only my opinion. Your Father knows you a whole lot better than I ever will. He'll lead you in all truth.

Blessings
Andre

very wise and caring post.

 

[GQ Chris]

Just be honest with the guy and say maybe it was a mistake to join a dating site. If you feel no desire to get married then don't feel like you have to, it is your decision to make however you decide you want to serve God, whether as single or married.

I myself may take the option of joining one of those Christian dating sites.

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

Just be honest with the guy and say maybe it was a mistake to join a dating site. If you feel no desire to get married then don't feel like you have to, it is your decision to make however you decide you want to serve God, whether as single or married.

I myself may take the option of joining one of those Christian dating sites.

Yeah, that's possible. I just don't know. I have a friend who joined a site, and she's had such success. In fact, in the few short months that she's been a member she found a really sweet guy who quite possibly be her "soul mate" (whatever that means ). I don't know, maybe that influenced me. I'm just as clueless as the next person why I would join, especially since I'm not particularly lonely, or despairing. All I can ask is please pray for me. That I will hear G-d's voice (and don't bother me about how I write G-d. I don't need any more preaching from anyone else.) and that I will know just exactly what is it that He wants for my life.

 

[miss-a]

No preaching here, Sister. I respect your respect for our Father.

As for dating, I did a similar thing once. I was on a Christian site that had nothing to do with dating and a pop-up came up for a dating site that offered a few days free. So I signed up and it was kind of fun until I was contacted by a man who lived two towns from me, a divorced single dad. Suddenly it all became real. Here was a guy who paid for the service so was probably seriously looking, and then there was me playing around and not serious much at all. It didn't seem right and I bowed out immediately. When my pastor did a teaching on singles he was insistant that the loving sisterly (or brotherly in the case of guys) thing to do was to let someone down early if you had to let them down. He encouraged us to look at them as our brothers. If this guy were your blood brother and you knew he was interested in someone who was not as committed or interested as he was what would you want for him? Because the thing is, he is your brother.

Also, I once had a guy from my church string me along when he wasn't interested. I finally found out when he showed up with another women. I would have preferred if he'd just stopped seeking my attention rather than going through that kind of a shock and truthfully, hurt. Now the shoe is on the other foot. I'm at a different church. There's a guy who interests me. I started saying casual greetings, "Have a great afternoon," etc. just for a couple of weeks. Then I had a personal crisis develop in my life. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what I want and don't feel I can would be much good in a relationship right now, so I'm not rude or snubbing him but I've stopped going out of my way to seek his attention. He may be disappointed, but if I kept it up and then had to quit after more time it would be a bigger let down. I don't want to do to him what was done to me. And if he is the one our Father has chosen for me, then me taking the time to get myself together will only help, not hurt, the potential relationship. If it's of Him, He will allow the door to open at the right time. I think this is in line with the scripture that tells us to esteem others higher than ourselves. Better to sacrifice a potential relationship than my brother's wellbeing and heart.

Wordy, but I hope helpful.
Blessings, A

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

Yeah, it does help. A lot actually. You're the only one who seems to know exactly what I'm going through and what the situation is. We're alike in the sense I was strung along too. And that I don't want to do that to this guy. It's been a few days since I've chatted with him. I've never taken this long to reply. And the thing is, I know you're right. That I need to tell him something, I'm just not relishing the idea. I really don't want to hurt him. But I know to drag it out would do that anyway. I kinda knew early on that he wasn't the one for me (saying such a thing actually exists). So, I shoulda stopped writting then. I guess I thought things would change. And I wanted to give him a chance. Your post really spoke to me though. You knew exactly what to say and how to say it. Thanks for respecting the way I write G-d too. I was getting tired of people nitpicking that one issue when it's not even why I posted. I appreciate it .