Is it really fair?

[TexasBluebonnet]

Hi,

I hope I get some actual help, and I'm kind of unsure about posting this, but...here goes nothin'. I joined a Christian dating site not long ago. And you know that the main point of those is to find a spouse. I did it on a whim one night because I was bored. I don't even know if G-d wants me to be married. Well, this guy saw my profile and we've been exchanging messages. The thing is, I was listening to Family Life Today about the stuggles of single people, and the despair they go through and about how they sometimes get desperate. Well, I'm not going through any of that. I'm fine. I'm happy. More than that I'm content. I have G-d, so why would I need a husband? No offense intended. But, I started to think. Is it fair for me to continue chatting with this guy when I really don't feel the need to get married? I don't want to feel like I'm stringing him along or anything. He said that he thinks I'm an answer to his prayer. I know that there is a problem here. I just don't know if it's on my end or his. I really need advice. And please pray that G-d will reveal His will for both of us.

 

[rockytriton]

obey His commandment to be fruitful and multiply. We need more people of faith and good morals in the world. Maybe you went there on a whim because he was compelling you to do what you should be doing. Raise a family, have 10 kids even

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

obey His commandment to be fruitful and multiply. We need more people of faith and good morals in the world. Maybe you went there on a whim because he was compelling you to do what you should be doing. Raise a family, have 10 kids even

Hmmm...you're very strange. I'm going to mark your post under the deleted category. I went to that site for no good reason whatsoever. I know when G-d is directing me to do something and when He's not. Thank you. I guess you didn't read the part where I have absolutely no desire to get married. See, this is a prime example of the nonsense I was speaking of. I guess you also endorse that mentally ill woman in Arkansas expecting her 19th. That's just a sickness I think. But I digress. Anyway, your post was not helpful. And do me a favor, please don't try to "help" anymore.

 

[freeport]

Hi,

I hope I get some actual help, and I'm kind of unsure about posting this, but...here goes nothin'. I joined a Christian dating site not long ago. And you know that the main point of those is to find a spouse. I did it on a whim one night because I was bored. I don't even know if G-d wants me to be married. Well, this guy saw my profile and we've been exchanging messages. The thing is, I was listening to Family Life Today about the stuggles of single people, and the despair they go through and about how they sometimes get desperate. Well, I'm not going through any of that. I'm fine. I'm happy. More than that I'm content. I have G-d, so why would I need a husband? No offense intended. But, I started to think. Is it fair for me to continue chatting with this guy when I really don't feel the need to get married? I don't want to feel like I'm stringing him along or anything. He said that he thinks I'm an answer to his prayer. I know that there is a problem here. I just don't know if it's on my end or his. I really need advice. And please pray that G-d will reveal His will for both of us.

Why seek a husband, if you do not want one...

You should not lead the guy on.


God lives in the heart of every Christian, you have to quiet everything else and strive to listen to the Holy Spirit.


I would avoid striving to be uncomfortable with using the word "God", too, something Jews do a lot, writing, "G-d", like that means something. To be totally blunt. God is God.

Such things are of the flesh, not of the Spirit. Of God, we are all called to be children of God, through Jesus.


A personal relationship with God as a child of God means you should be comfortable with God, absolutely enough to use the word -- "God"...

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

Why seek a husband, if you do not want one...

You should not lead the guy on.


God lives in the heart of every Christian, you have to quiet everything else and strive to listen to the Holy Spirit.


I would avoid striving to be uncomfortable with using the word "God", too, something Jews do a lot, writing, "G-d", like that means something. To be totally blunt. God is God.

Such things are of the flesh, not of the Spirit. Of God, we are all called to be children of God, through Jesus.


A personal relationship with God as a child of God means you should be comfortable with God, absolutely enough to use the word -- "God"...

Okay thanks for the post. Sort of. I mean, your advice was helpful, if not the most sensitive. You may not agree with me posting G-d the way I do, but that's not what matters. Or the point of this post. Do you even know why I do it? It's to show reverence for His name. People throw it around like it's common, every day words. It's not. It's holy. It's sacred, and the reason behind it is if this gets printed out and thrown in the trash that's the same as stepping on His name. I'm very careful about using His name. We write G-d, so as to treat it with the utmost care and reverence. I don't appreciate you denegrating my practice of writting G-d the way I do. Maybe you have the problem, not me.

 

[freeport]

Okay thanks for the post. Sort of. I mean, your advice was helpful, if not the most sensitive. You may not agree with me posting G-d the way I do, but that's not what matters. Or the point of this post. Do you even know why I do it? It's to show reverence for His name. People throw it around like it's common, every day words. It's not. It's holy. It's sacred, and the reason behind it is if this gets printed out and thrown in the trash that's the same as stepping on His name. I'm very careful about using His name. We write G-d, so as to treat it with the utmost care and reverence. I don't appreciate you denegrating my practice of writting G-d the way I do. Maybe you have the problem, not me.

...

I have complete reverence for God's Name.


...


You can judge me - and everyone else who uses His Name in such a way - as otherwise... but we are Children of God.


I am just saying, as Christians we are supposed to be comfortable with being Children of God born of God, working by and through the Spirit of God on a daily basis.



...



I understand you may not appreciate this advice, but if I were to lie to you, would that be better?


As Christians the biggest problem we have is with the Devil accusing us as Children of God born of God through the Spirit of God... claiming we do not have immunity to the Law.



But we are born again as Children of God through the Blood of Jesus Christ, so we have every right to call God Almighty as our Father.


Jesus even says not to call anyone on earth our father, but only our Heavenly Father.


Is something I said here sinful to you?

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

Re-read my post. I didn't accuse anyone, least of all you. And as far as this topic goes I'm not interested in anything you have to say unless it's an apology. I think we should agree to disagree. I'm going to continue to do what I feel is right. Didn't Paul say that each person should be confirmed in their mind what they should do, that those with a weak conscience should refrain from doing certain things? Why do you harp on this one thing when it's not even why I posted? It's not your job to convince me I'm wrong to write G-d the way I do. Do you get it? It's not your job.​

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

Oh, and btw Jesus never said that we couldn't call anyone on earth father. You're taking that out of context.

 

[up_to_Him]

I think if you continue to talk to him then it is your problem. He's already told you that you are the answer to his prayers, meaning he is expecting something from you that you aren't going to be giving. That would be stringing him along. If you really have no desire for a husband you should have no problem cutting off communication with him. Also, it's probably not a good idea to join a dating site if you aren't looking for someone.

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

True. I guess I thought I would change my mind. But you make some very good points. I actually even considered cancelling my membership the next day. But then I thought, well who's gonna even contact me? I really didn't anyone would.

 

[freeport]

Re-read my post. I didn't accuse anyone, least of all you. And as far as this topic goes I'm not interested in anything you have to say unless it's an apology. I think we should agree to disagree. I'm going to continue to do what I feel is right. Didn't Paul say that each person should be confirmed in their mind what they should do, that those with a weak conscience should refrain from doing certain things? Why do you harp on this one thing when it's not even why I posted? It's not your job to convince me I'm wrong to write G-d the way I do. Do you get it? It's not your job.​

...


All I am saying is that God is our teacher and we each have to listen to the Holy Spirit - the Spirit of God - within... to deal with the spiritual struggles thrown against us each and every day, and through the entire day.


We can either walk in defeatism or accepting that calling.


The real Name of God given to Moses was "I Am Who I Am", which - for obvious reasons - was not to be said in vain.


And, as Christians we are to treat God's Name as sacred beyond that, having the "I Am" in our heart, even as Jesus does, and as Jesus is... and fighting against the wicked powers of the air which challenge that sanctification.

 

[ephraimanesti]

Hi,

I just don't know if it's on my end or his. I really need advice. And please pray that G-d will reveal His will for both of us.

MY DEAR SISTER,

i am not sure what you are asking advice on. Let me just toss my two pence into the coffers by saying that there is nothing wrong with being single--Paul, for example, praised this state of life very strongly many times. God will let you know in no uncertain terms if He wishes a change in your life.

Secondly, don't string the poor guy along. Failure--perceived or otherwise--in love is excruciatingly painful--don't put dude through that! Level with him and let the chips fall where they may.

GOD'S BLESSINGS UPON YOU!

A BOND-SLAVE/FRIEND/BROTHER OF OUR LORD/GOD/SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,
ephraim

P.S. The early Church lived as communists. Read Acts 2:42-47. This mode of living was a major factor in the Church making so many converts so quickly. Cut Obama some slack!

 

[TexasBluebonnet]

...


All I am saying is that God is our teacher and we each have to listen to the Holy Spirit - the Spirit of God - within... to deal with the spiritual struggles thrown against us each and every day, and through the entire day.


We can either walk in defeatism or accepting that calling.


The real Name of God given to Moses was "I Am Who I Am", which - for obvious reasons - was not to be said in vain.


And, as Christians we are to treat God's Name as sacred beyond that, having the "I Am" in our heart, even as Jesus does, and as Jesus is... and fighting against the wicked powers of the air which challenge that sanctification.

And just who are you to say I'm walking in defeatism? That's mighty arogant in my opinion. Man looks at the outward, but G-d sees the heart. G-d knows my heart. Not you. His is the only opinion I care about.

1st Samuel 16:7

And you're wrong. No one knows His real name. It's refered to as the Ineffable Name, that which cannot be prounounced because the real translation has been lost.

 

[up_to_Him]

I fall into that trap a lot. Actually, I'm not too sure if it's that similar, but before I became a Christian I was always a follower and hated making decisions and choices for myself. I'd rather have someone do it for me. I guess it was because I didn't like feeling responsible. After becoming a Christian and being in a relationship now, I've learned what it means to be a leader and to take responsibility for my actions. It's something I still struggle with now, but I tend to lean on other people for accountability instead of taking the initiative for myself. I feel like you keeping the account open and not expecting anyone to contact you is kind of like leaving it up to other people. It's something that's in your control so you might as well cancel it if you really aren't looking. It'll probably save you a lot of time and trouble.

 

[freeport]

And just who are you to say I'm walking in defeatism? That's mighty arogant in my opinion. Man looks at the outward, but G-d sees the heart. G-d knows my heart. Not you. His is the only opinion I care about.

1st Samuel 16:7

And you're wrong. No one knows His real name. It's refered to as the Ineffable Name, that which cannot be prounounced because the real translation has been lost.

*sigh*


As Christians we are called to be Children of God.


I would avoid unnecessary superstitions...



As a Child of God you should feel comfortable addressing your Father. As your Father. Is there a greater Name then that?



If this was not important, I would not say it.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[ephraimanesti]

And you're wrong. No one knows His real name. It's refered to as the Ineffable Name, that which cannot be prounounced because the real translation has been lost.

MY DEAR SISTER,

Well, actually His Son Jesus taught us His Name: ABBA--the all-Loving and ever-Compassionate Daddy.

If you could just find Him under this Name, and relate to Him in this way, He stands ready, willing, and able to heal your much evident anger and rage and replace it with His all-encompassing Love.

Surrender!

LOVE TO YA IN CHRIST,
ephraim

 

[Healed_IHS]

Hmmm...you're very strange. I'm going to mark your post under the deleted category. I went to that site for no good reason whatsoever. I know when G-d is directing me to do something and when He's not. Thank you. I guess you didn't read the part where I have absolutely no desire to get married. See, this is a prime example of the nonsense I was speaking of. I guess you also endorse that mentally ill woman in Arkansas expecting her 19th. That's just a sickness I think. But I digress. Anyway, your post was not helpful. And do me a favor, please don't try to "help" anymore.

Like Moses had a desire to lead his people out of Egypt?

Let me guess, deleted? lol

 

[BigNorsk]

I'm not sure what the problem is. Are you saying this guy is fixated on you and is just thinking you are going to be his wife and is just focusing on you? And at the same time you aren't anywhere near the same place and don't feel any real desire to marry this fellow?

If that's the case, you really need to talk to him about it. Such an unbalance in a relationship creates a lot of problems.

Now the problem might not be with you. The guy might be living a fantasy.

In any case, if you talk to him and you see him doing what ultimately will hurt him, then the kind thing to do is to break it off. You don't want him putting his life on hold for 10 years thinking you are going to change. Who knows, maybe you would, but it doesn't sound like that is likely.

As far as a dating site. It would probably be good to put your feelings about being single and marriage right into your profile. Nothing wrong with it as long as you are honest. If it's assumed you are really looking for marriage simply by being on the site, do something to make it clear how things really are.

That's what I'd really suggest, just tell him and any other guys what you told us. If the guy thinks that's okay and he would still like to spend some time with you, that's fine. Nothing says that single people have to spend every waking moment desparately trying to be married.

I would comment as for the contented single thing, that many of the best marriages are made up of people who were quite content as singles. They are comfortable with themselves and yet at some point they find another whom they enjoy marriage to. Some of those people you read about with all those struggles as singles really don't make good mates. The struggles continue after marriage, it doesn't fix those things they thought it would. Sometimes they just marry whomever will marry them. Anyway, there's a reason why most people run for cover when someone shows up who seems just desparate for marriage and unable to cope with being single.

Marv

 

[Johnnz]

I see no point in a relationship like that if marriage is not on your agenda. That makes things too painful for the guy.

Marriage is God's general design, but not everyone wants to be married. Just check out that this is a lifelong intention though. IT would be sad to later want to be married and find your chances of that much less.

John
NZ