Is it possible to be too ugly to get IRL friends?

YankeeGirl said:

Maybe not so much for secular girls, but most Christian girls are pretty determined to get married.

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From what I am hearing in these forums, the Christian women are far from determined.

ThisIsMe123 said:

From what I am hearing in these forums, the Christian women are far from determined.

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I had posted a longer response, but I deleted it. I think you are right that most of the guys in singles have reached this conclusion about Christian women. There really is no point for me or other female members in Singles to share a different perspective, because it gets ignored. I've tried to be encouraging in many of these threads. It's been a little disheartening to see how quickly the encouragement gets brushed aside or totally ignored. I give up, haha. We keep being told that women don't want relationships or marriage anymore, even though some of us express the exact opposite. So, I concede the point. Women don't want men, lol. There, now we can all be in agreement

DragonFox91 said:

There are reasons for girls (& guys) to not want a partner that aren’t just secular. Burned in the past, just easier being single, etc. Christian girls can think that too.

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Christian women aren’t very different from secular ones values wise when you go beneath the surface. Their wants often mirror the others with Christian ones added on. The growing aversion to struggle love is a testament to the shift.

The dating market has descended into classism and believers aren’t innocent. The expectations are outrageous and the majority aren’t bringing the same to the table. It’s crazy.

~bella

YankeeGirl said:

So, I concede the point. Women don't want men, lol. There, now we can all be in agreement

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Well, I'm just saying, I keep seeing these, "I'm dedicating my life to God now, and not marriage"

I mean, what are they...a Catholic nun? lol I've even seen some men say this.

Sometimes non involvement is safer. There are some who rest in God and others who don’t engage with the opposite sex due to previous experiences, fear, uncertainty, and the present climate. They see the hurt and disappointment and don’t want the same. They’re protecting themselves.

~bella

ThisIsMe123 said:

Well, I'm just saying, I keep seeing these, "I'm dedicating my life to God now, and not marriage"

I mean, what are they...a Catholic nun? lol I've even seen some men say this.

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I think it's fair to say the women on here aren't like that.

bèlla said:

Sometimes non involvement is safer. There are some who rest in God and others who don’t engage with the opposite sex due to previous experiences, fear, uncertainty, and the present climate. They see the hurt and disappointment and don’t want the same. They’re protecting themselves.

~bella

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On one hand, I can understand on how some people don'twant to....complicate their lives...on the other hand, wouldn't you really think this is a challenge they would need to overcome?
Wouldnt you say there needs to be a goal to accomplish here to step outside their comfort zone?

But...they got to want to.

ThisIsMe123 said:

On one hand, I can understand on how some people don'twant to....complicate their lives...on the other hand, wouldn't you really think this is a challenge they would need to overcome?
Wouldnt you say there needs to be a goal to accomplish here to step outside their comfort zone?

But...they got to want to.

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They have to reconcile the pain and fear before that happens. There needs to be a counter presence to offset the disappointments and rejection. Fulfilling work, rich relationships, and meaningful activities strengthen us. When they’re lacking and we encounter similar lacks with the opposite sex its devastating.

When you’re pouring out (pursuing companionship) you need others pouring in (Yahweh, family and friends) to keep you balanced. Someone must believe in your worth and validate your suitability for marriage. You need to hear you’re a good guy/girl. You need to have your attributes championed. Rejection makes you question yourself. But their input reinforces the good and encourages you to keep trying.

If that’s missing. If no on ever says you can do it you’ll need to rely on yourself and possess a steeliness to achieve your goal. Mettle is distributed differently. Some people can weather adversity better than others. A person that’s wounded or uncertain of their worthiness will require assistance. Leaving their comfort zone is challenging. It’s safe.

Introductions are best in situations like that. A kindhearted middle man who’s a gifted connector and delights in bringing people together. Everyone can’t stick their neck out and that’s okay. They excel in other ways. We ought to keep our eyes peeled for possibilities for others. Just because it isn’t a good fit for us they may be ideal for another.

If we practiced this we’d solve the problem. You have an outgoing personality. You’d do well in that role. You’re not afraid to meet people. That’s very hard for some.

~bella

KJ91 said:

No, i did not photoshopped them.

My sibblings are brutally honest persons, about everything. They where not trying to bully me or anything.

If you are being honest, then you cant deny that im 1 of 10 on those 2 pictures.

Im living right now in a negative window because for 16 years i failed. So i realised im not good enough to get friends. There is no point
in keep trying to get friends. Im just gonna focus on God from now on.

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KJ91 said:

ugly too by the world’s

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KJ91 said:

No, i did not photoshopped them.

My sibblings are brutally honest persons, about everything. They where not trying to bully me or anything.

If you are being honest, then you cant deny that im 1 of 10 on those 2 pictures.

Im living right now in a negative window because for 16 years i failed. So i realised im not good enough to get friends. There is no point
in keep trying to get friends. Im just gonna focus on God from now on.

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Im ugly too by the world’s standards. My own Dad even called me ugly.


If you want friends as a Christian, then you need to look in the right places. Go to churches, worship nights etc. and meet people in common with yourself.

I didn’t have any real friends for many years but I’ve met a few nice people since going to church.

Dont give up. Pray and trust in God that He will answer you. Abraham waited years for the promised son, Jesus healed a woman who was bleeding for 12 years etc. You don’t know what’s waiting round the corner.

pantingdeer said:

I'm ugly too by the world’s standards.

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Everything the LORD makes is Beautiful.
The Heavenly FATHER crafted all of us with HIS own hands.
he makes nothing 'ugly'
the only thing that makes any of us ugly is "sin"
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14


May The LORD Bless You and Keep You



Shalom Aleichem