kula2000 said:
I'm new to this forum and I'm desperate for help and prayer. I recently got married and I didn't get married for love, which is a really long story. I was rushed into the decision and thought I loved my wife to be, but after we reached the final days towards the wedding I realized that I was making a huge mistake. Unfortunately I didn't have the courage to stop and went through with it anyways and now I'm in major depression because I can't get out it because God hates divorce and I'm miserable.
Can anybody give me any suggestions, help advice and definately prayer??!?
The question is,
"What will you do?" Surrender to the pressures of the world's way of thinking and the emotions of the moment? Or make a choice based on confidence in the eternal truths of Scripture? The stakes are higher than one may realize at the time. One choice clearly leads to the bitterness and defeat of divorce as well as lost opportunities for blessing. "Divorce is more painful than death," a woman told me, "because it's never really over."
When couples run away from their problems by divorcing and remarrying, "then there are four miserable people instead of just two.... Why spread misery?" he asks. "Bad marriages are contagious! Numerous psychiatric marriage relationships get divorcedno matter how good their intentions may bethey nearly always remarry into the very same type of neurotic relationship they had before."
When you choose the pathway of irrevocable commitment to your mate and your marriage regardless of how troubled your relationship may seem you will find that choice leading you into a place of
agape love and peace and personal growth. These are just some of the rewards, for the chances are very good that you will also be able to enjoy the blessings that God has wanted to bestow on your marriage from the beginning.
I am not suggesting that the healing of a marriage is an easy process when one partner resists it. But are any easy choices open to you, after all? Torn relationships involve pain, whatever you do about them. As Peter points out in his first letter, it is far better to suffer (if suffer you must) for doing
right, than for doing wrong. He makes it clear that God's favor and blessing shine on the one who patiently suffers, if necessary, in order to do His will. Meeting your marriage problems in a biblical manner is productive rather than pointless, and whatever hurts your encounter will be less damaging than the long-term effects of divorce would be.
"The very word
divorce should be cut out of the vocabulary of a couple when they marry," a woman with a restored marriage said, "because God's way is so much better for anyone who is willing to give it a try."
I understand that the feelings you may be experiencing right now within the problem are less than pleasant. Many others have been where you are now and can empathize with what you are going through: shock, hurt, rejection, emotional confusion, temptation to bitterness, and of course, pressures from all sides that sometimes make you want to give up.
So, if you are willing to make a commitment to your marriage based on the eternal principles and promises of the Word of God, you can take heart and let hope grow in promises of the Word of God, you can take heart and let hope grow in proportion to your commitment. Contrary to what the world believes, one person can save a marriage. In fact, most of the people I counsel belong in this category. Even when both come to see me, one is usually dragging the other along, in a manner of speaking, and only one really cares about the outcome in most cases.
In summary, you need to give love to your mate biblically, emotionally, and physically whether you receive a response or not. This is altogether possible through
agape love. One wife, whose husband was involved with another woman, said, "I tried to show him that my love for him did not depend on how he treated me. I still showed him physical affection. I said to him sometimes, 'I love you, no matter what you are doing right now, and I believe the Lord means for us to be together.' I sent him little cards with appropriate messages that messages that expressed my caring while we were apart. And, do you know, when we reconciled, I found that he had saved every one of them!"
Rev
. Stop looking for a loophole and start being thankful for what you have with all the blessings in your life.
I am still praying, that God will do some miracle for You, Kula...
