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Our pastor also expressed the seriousness of the situation where if I was to interact with this person again I would be excommunicated from the church.
That brings some troubling implications itself. Your pastor sounds like a busy body who's far more involved in human politics than the world of the spirit. I can't imagine this is a healthy church at all. You've got numerous people trying to control your personal life, and who you contact?Immediately they called the pastoral leadership and my family that also goes to the church, and I was put under intense heat. I didn’t know what to do when I got home, but I didn’t want to be put under the scrutiny of my church.
your pastor and their friends have a lot of nerve. You can speak to whoever you want. That’s really toxic controlling behavior . I can’t blame you for not wanting them in your business but try to avoid lying . I understand that you feel you can’t tell these people to mind their own business. I honestly think you should start looking for another church as this is cultish behaviorHey so kinda a long story....
Basically somone at my church caused deep emotional pain to a family that also goes. I won’t go into detail, but like it’s at the point where the police have gotten involved and there have been hearings. This person wants to go away to another state but they can’t, due to what the court decided. Shortly after it happened the pastors got together and asked the church to avoid this person at all cost given the nature of the situation and to maintain the body togetherness or however it’s called.
For some reason this person has reached out to me for support in this. They’re on their own with no friends or job, and stuck in Pennsylvania until their probation ends. I honestly want out of this situation as much as possible but I can’t say no to someone in this situation. I have interacted with this person a few times, by their request to offer them emotional support. They think I’m the only one from church who doesn’t hate them. While I’ve tried to get them to reach out to other people besides me, it’s no use. Recently they cutoff all ties with the pastor of our church, because the family they offended was using our pastor to track them.
It was kinda known that I was in sort of contact with this person, although I didn’t want to be. The family asked me to stop talking to them which I said that I don’t hang out with this person I just steer them in the right direction towards repentance.
Our pastor also expressed the seriousness of the situation where if I was to interact with this person again I would be excommunicated from the church.
This was 3 weeks ago and a few days back this person asked me if I would meet them somewhere for food to just talk through some stuff. Which I figured wouldn’t be that big a deal, although I had been asked not to spend anytime with them. I thought this would be when I would finally say that they needed to find some friends from outside the church because I put a lot at risk by interacting with them, but to my luck, while we were walking out, we passed somone from the family that they offended.
Immediately they called the pastoral leadership and my family that also goes to the church, and I was put under intense heat. I didn’t know what to do when I got home, but I didn’t want to be put under the scrutiny of my church. So I called my pastor and said that I was out downtown working, which is where I work, and when I was done my shift I passed by this person on the street and they invited me to eat with them real quick cause we just happened to be there. I said that we didn’t plan it, it was a situation that I couldn’t rly avoid, or at least knew how to. It was a lie, I knowingly lied, but it got me out of being put in the same boat as the person who asked me for support sometimes. All parties believe me as far as I know, but I lied and I regret it very much. Normally I wouldn’t go on a forum like this, but as you can see, I don’t really have a party to go to. I made it clear after our meeting to this person that we can’t interact anymore, it hurts my relationship with so many people, but I hate the fact that I lied and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve prayed and asked God, studied the Bible, and I know I should tell the truth, but I’m already in deep, and I could actually be kicked out. I know it must sound like a cult or something, but what this person did, really is something worth these threats.
I just need prayer and encouragement and advice in this situation, because I have no one to talk to about this.
You had the whole church to talk to and you ignored them.I just need prayer and encouragement and advice in this situation, because I have no one to talk to about this.
Our pastor also expressed the seriousness of the situation where if I was to interact with this person again I would be excommunicated from the church.
Recently they cutoff all ties with the pastor of our church, because the family they offended was using our pastor to track them.
So I called my pastor and said that I was out downtown working, which is where I work, and when I was done my shift I passed by this person on the street and they invited me to eat with them real quick cause we just happened to be there. I said that we didn’t plan it, it was a situation that I couldn’t rly avoid, or at least knew how to.
I just need prayer and encouragement and advice in this situation, because I have no one to talk to about this.
That brings some troubling implications itself. Your pastor sounds like a busy body who's far more involved in human politics than the world of the spirit. I can't imagine this is a healthy church at all. You've got numerous people trying to control your personal life, and who you contact?
That's literally straight up cult behavior.
You had the whole church to talk to and you ignored them.
If this guys offense was so serious that even you recognize it, why are you getting involved despite the edicts of the body of Christ?
The devil is the father of lies, and of those who use them.
Time for you to get right with God.
That guy will have his day in court, and a jury of his peers.
I one time got ostracized at an ecclesial community I no longer attend and no longer respect. It really would've been nice to have had a friend in that situation. But there was nobody. Zero.
I can't tell you what to do. With respect, your OP is a bit vague and the few details you've provided raise all sorts of challenges, and solutions are dependent upon the exact nature of the problem. It's pretty tough.
Since you know this situation best, be honest. Ask yourself who's truly in the right and who's in the wrong on this. If a Christian brother has been given a bad deal and is getting hung out to dry by the pastor, it's a good idea to establish positive relations. Little things can harm someone else's faith. But big things, those can be the death of someone's faith.
If your pastor isn't willing to act in a pastoral fashion, it may be down to you to do the right thing and be supportive of someone whose faith could be hanging by a thread.
Good luck!
Hey so kinda a long story....
Basically somone at my church caused deep emotional pain to a family that also goes. I won’t go into detail, but like it’s at the point where the police have gotten involved and there have been hearings. This person wants to go away to another state but they can’t, due to what the court decided. Shortly after it happened the pastors got together and asked the church to avoid this person at all cost given the nature of the situation and to maintain the body togetherness or however it’s called.
For some reason this person has reached out to me for support in this. They’re on their own with no friends or job, and stuck in Pennsylvania until their probation ends. I honestly want out of this situation as much as possible but I can’t say no to someone in this situation. I have interacted with this person a few times, by their request to offer them emotional support. They think I’m the only one from church who doesn’t hate them. While I’ve tried to get them to reach out to other people besides me, it’s no use. Recently they cutoff all ties with the pastor of our church, because the family they offended was using our pastor to track them.
It was kinda known that I was in sort of contact with this person, although I didn’t want to be. The family asked me to stop talking to them which I said that I don’t hang out with this person I just steer them in the right direction towards repentance.
Our pastor also expressed the seriousness of the situation where if I was to interact with this person again I would be excommunicated from the church.
This was 3 weeks ago and a few days back this person asked me if I would meet them somewhere for food to just talk through some stuff. Which I figured wouldn’t be that big a deal, although I had been asked not to spend anytime with them. I thought this would be when I would finally say that they needed to find some friends from outside the church because I put a lot at risk by interacting with them, but to my luck, while we were walking out, we passed somone from the family that they offended.
Immediately they called the pastoral leadership and my family that also goes to the church, and I was put under intense heat. I didn’t know what to do when I got home, but I didn’t want to be put under the scrutiny of my church. So I called my pastor and said that I was out downtown working, which is where I work, and when I was done my shift I passed by this person on the street and they invited me to eat with them real quick cause we just happened to be there. I said that we didn’t plan it, it was a situation that I couldn’t rly avoid, or at least knew how to. It was a lie, I knowingly lied, but it got me out of being put in the same boat as the person who asked me for support sometimes. All parties believe me as far as I know, but I lied and I regret it very much. Normally I wouldn’t go on a forum like this, but as you can see, I don’t really have a party to go to. I made it clear after our meeting to this person that we can’t interact anymore, it hurts my relationship with so many people, but I hate the fact that I lied and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve prayed and asked God, studied the Bible, and I know I should tell the truth, but I’m already in deep, and I could actually be kicked out. I know it must sound like a cult or something, but what this person did, really is something worth these threats.
I just need prayer and encouragement and advice in this situation, because I have no one to talk to about this.
You are in a congregation where you feel torn between lying and attempting to work with a person whom you hope God will bring to repentance. The pressure from your congregations leadership and the congregation itself is so intense, that is manipulation, that you feel forced to lie to save your relationship with your congregation and your pastoral leadership. This is neither godly nor healthy. If you can be shunned or excommunicated from a church because you speak with someone that the people and the leadership in that church doesn't want you to speak to, if that is enough for you to be shunned or excommunicated, you are in a toxic church. Get out, get out, get out!
Jesus did not excommunicate the sinners, he welcomed them into the fold, he taught them, he loved them, he was beaten and died for them, clearly your congregation and your pastor leadership thinks they are better than Jesus.
They’re reasoning is that if I engage with them, it will tear apart the church because some will side with the family, and some will side with him.
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