Ok well I have a few things to ask and hopefully this may help!
How do you feel about the true reason Christmas is actually happening, the part about our Savior being born. I mean as Christians this is not one of the reasons we celebrate Christmas but the only reason that we celebrate Christmas. So try your best to get the cultural Christmas out of your head. Remove presents and the tree. Replace it with Jesus being born and fulfilling the law to its fullest to then die a death and give us the complete and undeserving gift of grace. Amen? AMEN!