Is it a test?

[tokuku]

Hey everybody. It's been a while since I was on here. I'm kinda in a situation. I've been with my girlfriend for about 1.5 years. She's a lovely lady. Super nice and takes care of me. I can really see us getting married and having kids. Just recently however I've kinda developed a little crush on another girl. I'm certain she likes me too. I haven't acted on my feelings for this girl but it's just concerning me and I feel kinda quilty.

I've tried not thinking about her. Deleted her as a facebook friend for this reason. I feel as though this is some kind of trial or test of faith towards my girlfriend...I'm kinda stuck....any advice?

 

[iambren]

The fact that you can have feelings or infatuations with other gals does not mean there's something wrong with your relationship.....UNLESS there is something missing you should take a look at. Even when you are married a person can have emotions or sexual attractions toward others, doesn't mean we have to act on them.

 

[GrumpGrump]

The fact that you can have feelings or infatuations with other gals does not mean there's something wrong with your relationship.....UNLESS there is something missing you should take a look at. Even when you are married a person can have emotions or sexual attractions toward others, doesn't mean we have to act on them.

Agreed. I think it's a fact of life that we're going to be tempted by others, no matter how much we love our partners. There is no such love that will erase all attraction to others. I think the trick is to find the person that's such a good match that it's always the best option to resist temptation and stay put (even if that calculation is sometimes determined by the amount of time invested in building a life with that someone). Good luck!

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

Agreed with both of the above. We're human with human emotions. What matters is the decisions we make based on those emotions.

 

[tokuku]

thanks for the feedback guys...I guess I should stop beating myself up about it. I do have a crush on that girl but I know in my heart of hearts that I'm with the right one. I guess I just gotta put it out of my mind and focus on the future.

thanks again

 

[elenore]

If you don't want to marry this lady, then you shouldn't be in a romantic relationship with her in the first place. Getting involved with someone - ie falling 'in love' - cruising along in that until you decide whether you want to be with them permanently is doing things in the wrong order, and it can make your relationship more difficult then it has to be.

Love isn't something to be used for recreational purposes or to guard ourselves against lonliness.