Is it a SIN to be unequally yoked to unbelievers?

[Mochi]

It plainly states in scriptures "that we should not be yoked to unbelievers!" It is better to serve the lord with clarity and determination, not in surrounding yourself with disbelief and doubt.

As always seek out GOD the heavely father in JESUS CHRIST his son through prayer for truth.

"Wisdom is one of our greatest gift, with it we will live by faith and the word of GOD the heavenly father and not by bread alone."

Praise be to GOD the heavely father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>

That's great, but how does that work practically?
Should I quit my job (since I work closely with unbelievers, which is the definition of being yoked), should I not go to family events since I am technically surrounding myself with "disbelief and doubt"? Should all of my relationships become superficial, and should I then isolate myself to church life? What sorts of Christians can I form bonds with? Do Mormons count, do Catholics count?
Do you see the danger in this, especially for a new believer?

 

[Johnnz]

The verse in 2 Corinthians is primarily about religious synchretism, trying to mix various religious beliefs together within the Christian community, not about marriage.

Having said that, as general principle, agreeing on fundamental values and beliefs is extremely important for a marriage. in reality the picture is less clear. I have witnessed all of the following:

Both Christian - good marriage
Both Christian - disaster
One a Christian - good marriage
One a non Christian - disaster

John
NZ

 

[aiki]

So then, how does this look practically?
Do I quit my job? Step back from lifelong friendships and support systems?

Only if you're wanting to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Being "unequally yoked" has to do with intimate relationships, relationships where, because of the level of intimacy, the other person has influential power with you. You will have to judge for yourself in which instances this is the case in the relationships you have with others. For myself, I don't have (nor do I seek to develop) this sort of relationship with my employer. I have had to keep at arms' length people with whom I could have had a much closer relationship in order to obey this biblical command concerning fellowship with unbelievers. My "support system" is constituted by people who all know and love the Lord. I have unbelieving friends, but none of them have any significant degree of intimacy with me.

If we treat the romantic relationship the same way as the other relationships, then I see that practically as having a skin -deep relationship with every single person in my life until they become Christian.

More or less. Yes.

Since, having deep bonds with unbelievers is sinful.

According to the apostle Paul's command, yes, it is sinful to develop deep bonds with people who don't love the Lord.

I basically isolate myself to a certain group.

Not entirely. You are in the world but not of it. You are to love others who don't know Christ, but you are not, therefore, obliged to make of them intimate friends. In fact, if you are going to be obedient to God's Word, you must not make such friends.

Matthew 10:37-39
37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

This is sounding cult-like and extremely dangerous.

I think this is an over-reaction arising out of your unwillingness to obey Paul's command. If you make obeying seem outrageous and perhaps even destructive, then you couldn't possibly be expected to obey, right? All I can say is that your obedience is really between you and the Lord. You answer to him, not me. I have explained the command; you must obey it - or not.

Selah.

A church could easily take advantage of that (and lead to spiritual abuse and isolation of the members).

 

[Mochi]

Only if you're wanting to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Being "unequally yoked" has to do with intimate relationships, relationships where, because of the level of intimacy, the other person has influential power with you. You will have to judge for yourself in which instances this is the case in the relationships you have with others. For myself, I don't have (nor do I seek to develop) this sort of relationship with my employer. I have had to keep at arms' length people with whom I could have had a much closer relationship in order to obey this biblical command concerning fellowship with unbelievers. My "support system" is constituted by people who all know and love the Lord. I have unbelieving friends, but none of them have any significant degree of intimacy with me.

More or less. Yes.

According to the apostle Paul's command, yes, it is sinful to develop deep bonds with people who don't love the Lord.

Not entirely. You are in the world but not of it. You are to love others who don't know Christ, but you are not, therefore, obliged to make of them intimate friends. In fact, if you are going to be obedient to God's Word, you must not make such friends.

Matthew 10:37-39
37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

I think this is an over-reaction arising out of your unwillingness to obey Paul's command. If you make obeying seem outrageous and perhaps even destructive, then you couldn't possibly be expected to obey, right? All I can say is that your obedience is really between you and the Lord. You answer to him, not me. I have explained the command; you must obey it - or not.

Selah.

A church could easily take advantage of that (and lead to spiritual abuse and isolation of the members).

Where does it say this verse only relates to intimate relationships? The word "yoke" is only used here, and is referring back to the Old Testament passage about not yoking two different animals together.
If I'm working closely with an unbeliever toward a common goal, is that not like the yoking of two different animals in order to get a job done? If we take this literally, all "yokes" with unbelievers are sinful. We are called to throw the baby out with the bath water, and saying anything less is reading things into the passage that do not exist.

 

[aiki]

Where does it say this verse only relates to intimate relationships?

It is understood that Paul is speaking particularly of intimate relationships from the terms he uses to describe what he is talking about:

2 Corinthians 6:14-16
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

"Fellowship," "communion," "accord" - all these terms speak of intimate relating.

The word "yoke" is only used here, and is referring back to the Old Testament passage about not yoking two different animals together.

It is not a direct reference and Paul explains what he means in the passage in which his command is given.

If I'm working closely with an unbeliever toward a common goal, is that not like the yoking of two different animals in order to get a job done?

Yes, it is.

If we take this literally, all "yokes" with unbelievers are sinful.

Well, fortunately, Paul doesn't leave us to jump to such conclusions.

We are called to throw the baby out with the bath water, and saying anything less is reading things into the passage that do not exist.

I'm afraid contorting the passage in order to make it seem inordinate and ureasonable isn't going to work. See above.

Selah.

 

[DorkiusMaximus]

1 Corinthians 7:12-14

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Just saying.

 

[DorkiusMaximus]

Yikes double post.

 

[aiki]

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

This is a command that makes it clear that the covenant relationship of marriage takes precedence over Paul's command concerning being unequally yoked. It is particularly referencing an instance, not where a believer marries an unbeliver, but where two unbelievers marry but one later comes to faith in Christ. It is not permission for a believer to marry a non-believer.

Selah.

 

[Clay Vessel]

When I read this thread, a couple of scriptures came to my mind. The first one is this: "If we walk in the Light (of the Gospel) as Jesus is in the Light, we will have fellowship one with another." And, the other is the scripture that you quoted that says, "Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, FOR WHAT FELLOWSHIP HAS LIGHT WITH DARKNESS."

You are not yoked to your family. You didn't choose them. But making a contract to love, honor, and obey an unbeliever is a definite yoke and it is not walking in the Light. You may think you and he have talked everything through and your ability to communicate will help you over all of the difficulties, but if you truly want Jesus and you want His will in your life, you will find, once you are married, that you will have to make compromises that a person who walks in the light doesn't want to make. Shouldn't have to make.

I know how easy it is to try to rationalize loving an unbeliever. I did that many years ago and fortunately, the Lord showed me the light before I married him. He has been married and divorced three times now. But at the time, I thought love would conquer all. Trust me. It doesn't.

Have you told him all about Jesus? Have you read Salvation scriptures to him? Have you taken him to church and given him an opportunity to accept Jesus as his Savior and he has refused Him? These are very important questions.

If you are truly walking in the light of Salvation, if you truly want Jesus more than anything else in the world, if you are committed to living for God, and if you want your future children to grow up to know and love Him, this isn't the guy for you unless he surrenders his life to God. Unequal yoking brings heartache. I've watched it happen in my own family.

Call me stubborn or set in my ways, I call myself a lover of God and a follower of His Word. His Word is given so that we can live a life filled with joy and peace. Seek peace and pursue it.

 

[Johnnz]

It is understood that Paul is speaking particularly of intimate relationships from the terms he uses to describe what he is talking about:

2 Corinthians 6:14-16
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

"Fellowship," "communion," "accord" - all these terms speak of intimate relating. Selah.

It is the gathered community not marriage that Paul is addressing.

John
NZ

 

[cmjohnson1613]

Ok we going to hit the first major point
1) it is talking about marrying someone unequally yoked.(however I would never date anyone who didn't have the same beliefs)

2) if you do get married he doesn't have to be a christian at first but if he can be converted that is fine. If he doesn't believe at all and won't change then I would not get married to him.

3) also men are suppose to be the spiritual head of a house hold. If y'all are unequally yoked then I sure you will be battling the devil more than you would having a spiritual lead.

 

[Mochi]

It is understood that Paul is speaking particularly of intimate relationships from the terms he uses to describe what he is talking about:

2 Corinthians 6:14-16
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

"Fellowship," "communion," "accord" - all these terms speak of intimate relating.

It is not a direct reference and Paul explains what he means in the passage in which his command is given.

Yes, it is.

Well, fortunately, Paul doesn't leave us to jump to such conclusions.

I'm afraid contorting the passage in order to make it seem inordinate and ureasonable isn't going to work. See above.

Selah.

The word yoke is never used again in the NT. As a Jew, Paul would be knowledgable of the OT and the wording within it. If the word unequally yoked is used within the OT, I don't think it is unreasonable to look at that text in order to fully understand the meaning of the word Paul uses.

Words have meanings and histories. It's important to keep that in mind.

 

[Spunkn]

So then, how does this look practically?
Do I quit my job? Step back from lifelong friendships and support systems?

If we treat the romantic relationship the same way as the other relationships, then I see that practically as having a skin -deep relationship with every single person in my life until they become Christian. Since, having deep bonds with unbelievers is sinful.

I basically isolate myself to a certain group. This is sounding cult-like and extremely dangerous. A church could easily take advantage of that (and lead to spiritual abuse and isolation of the members).

We shouldn't let relationships with unbelievers get so close to us that they start to influence in negative ways or turn us away from walking with God.

It doesn't mean you can't have close friends who are unbelievers, or work with unbelievers. It just means you should be careful how much you let them influence you. If you hang out with your friends, and they're doing things that are pretty negative, or things you shouldn't be doing as a Christian, then you need to seperate yourself from that. You may have to create some space in the relationship from things you did before.

Doesn't mean you still can't be friends with them. However, friends who are unbelievers will not be able to encourage you in your walk with God, help you with Scripture, and things of that nature. So it's not good to just have non-Christian friends if you can help it. It's good to have a Christian support system.

We're always going to be dealing with unbelievers though. That's part of our calling, to help those who aren't saved yet. We just need to be careful that we're not getting -so- involved with them that it causes us to sin ourselves, or fall away from God.

 

[aiki]

It is the gathered community not marriage that Paul is addressing.

I'm not sure how you derive the "gathered community" interpretation from the passage...I'm not saying that Paul couldn't have intended his comments for a group of believers as well as individual ones, but I don't think the passage permits restricting his commands only to a group. I also don't see any good reason why his commands cannot apply to those who are considering who to marry. In fact, his command seems extremely pertinent to such believers.

Selah.

 

[aiki]

The word yoke is never used again in the NT. As a Jew, Paul would be knowledgable of the OT and the wording within it. If the word unequally yoked is used within the OT, I don't think it is unreasonable to look at that text in order to fully understand the meaning of the word Paul uses.

Certainly. But doing so should never supercede the immediate context of Paul's words and the meaning they clearly impose on those words.

Words have meanings and histories. It's important to keep that in mind.

Of course. And I do. I was the one, after all, who noted the OT verse about donkeys and oxen.

Selah.

 

[Johnnz]

I'm not sure how you derive the "gathered community" interpretation from the passage...I'm not saying that Paul couldn't have intended his comments for a group of believers as well as individual ones, but I don't think the passage permits restricting his commands only to a group. I also don't see any good reason why his commands cannot apply to those who are considering who to marry. In fact, his command seems extremely pertinent to such believers.

Selah.

Paul's letters would be read aloud when Christian met together. Many would be unable to read, especially women. Plus his letter was addressed to the church.

John
NZ

 

[Mochi]

Certainly. But doing so should never supercede the immediate context of Paul's words and the meaning they clearly impose on those words.

Of course. And I do. I was the one, after all, who noted the OT verse about donkeys and oxen.

Selah.

Sure. Paul, however gives little context as to what unequally yoked means to the Corinthians. This admonishment is so out of context that scholars debate on whether it belongs there, or if it was written by Paul at all.

 

[aiki]

Paul's letters would be read aloud when Christian met together. Many would be unable to read, especially women. Plus his letter was addressed to the church.

But the "Church" is made up of individuals. Regardless of whether they were in a group or alone, it was to individuals, then, that Paul's letter would have been read.

Selah.

 

[Clay Vessel]

So, I have a question, Mochi...did you just ask the question about being unequally yoked together with unbelievers so that you could out-talk other believers, so you could rationalize your already made decision in your own mind and make it right to you? You've been carrying this relationship on for four years. You've rejected advice because you want what you want. You'll reap what you sow. As a mother, it hurts me to think of the heartache you will go through, but some people don't really want advice. They want their own way. I feel a sense of grief for you.

Next time, don't waste the time and energy of others who are actually concerned about your future.

 

[aiki]

Sure. Paul, however gives little context as to what unequally yoked means to the Corinthians.

Oh? I think he does. He speaks of fellowship with those who are unrighteous or lawless, of communion with darkness, of being in accord with those who are of the devil (which is the condition of all who are unsaved). It seems to me he has been quite clear what he means by "unequally yoked."

This admonishment is so out of context that scholars debate on whether it belongs there, or if it was written by Paul at all.

Well, I don't know which scholars you're thinking of, but among the ones with which I'm familiar there is no such debate.

You know, Paul's command is not given to make your life unhappy or unnecessarily difficult. It is given in an effort to protect you and put you in a circumstance in which you can experience most fully and benefit most thoroughly from God's blessings. God is not trying to ruin your life when he tells you to be separate from unbelievers.

Selah.