If sex is required in marriage should asexuals even marry at all? Or is it not required? If an asexual finds another asexual to be with is it a sin for them to not marry or live together? Or is it a sin for them to marry?What is gods will for an asexual? Is it to stay single and dedicate their life to serving god? What if an asexual doesn’t want to be single? Should an asexual or even sexual not worry about being preoccupied with finding a mate?
I ask this because their is lots of asexuals who desire romantic relationships. I’m just wondering because I’m asexual and I want to know what gods will for my life is regarding my life and sexuality. I hear that god intended for mankind to be sexual(not all of it) and even declared that it was good. But what about asexuals? I know that we don’t need another person to be complete but it’s hard to not desire another person sometimes. I know for some people it’s hard to remain content single as a heterosexual but it also hard a asexual to. Biblically how do I remain content in god and in singleness?
The Apostle Paul discusses marriage in his first letter to the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians chapter 7). Paul himself chose to remain single and stated, "I wish that all of you were as I am." which some refer to as the "gift of singleness". Yet, he does not forbid marriage nor forbid singleness and explains reasons for getting married and for singleness. He also warns against divorce if you do get married. So I would recommend studying this chapter to begin with. For convenience I copied and pasted the NIV online version below:
"Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8Now to the unmarried
a and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Concerning Change of Status
17Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
20Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
21Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.
23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.
24Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
Concerning the Unmarried
25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
27Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.
28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not;
30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep;
31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—
34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong
b and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.
38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.
c
39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Footnotes:
a 8 Or
widowers
b 36 Or
if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage
c 38 Or
36If anyone thinks he is not treating his daughter properly, and if she is getting along in years(or
if her passions are too strong)
, and he feels she ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. He should let her get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind to keep the virgin unmarried—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who gives his virgin in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
