Is Hugging a Sin? What Does the Bible Say?

[blackribbon]

Who are you hugging and why? Do you hug both men and women the same way?

I think your hyperfocus on what should be a casual warm greeting could be a problem. Unless you live in a very structured, men separate from women (where no woman would ever hug a man she wasn't related to), hugging isn't considered a sexual activity. It is more important to consider the situation. If you ever hug someone who behaves inappropriate, just don't hug that person again. I don't believe that a hug is a sexual act. It is more an act of friendship and fellowship. It isn't even sexual between married people. If your hug is causing a young man to think sexual thoughts, then chances are that your presence is doing the same thing. It isn't anything that you actually do but rather because you are a female that he is attracted to. This is just the way God wired men. If it is a stubbling block to him, then it is his issue to deal with. Of course, this is assuming that you are not dressing sexually, flirting with him, or acting sexual in other ways.

Need a way to tell. "Would you behave this way with your grandparents in the room watching." If the answer is "yes", then most likely that you are "okay".

 

[blackribbon]

How old are you? The only real issue I can see is if you are single and primarily hugging other women's husbands.

If you are single and want to get married, avoiding men totally (which would be what would happen if you never made eye contact with single male people) will most likely just lead to staying single because no man will ever know that you find him attractive (both inside and outside) and he likely will never even consider asking you out.

 

[straightcurvylines]

How old are you? The only real issue I can see is if you are single and primarily hugging other women's husbands.

If you are single and want to get married, avoiding men totally (which would be what would happen if you never made eye contact with single male people) will most likely just lead to staying single because no man will ever know that you find him attractive (both inside and outside) and he likely will never even consider asking you out.

I'm 21. And my issue lies in hugging both single and married men. My hugging is always friendly, never sexual, and only done if the other person initiates or I know the man personally. I don't want to appear as a wicked woman if I physically touch another man.

My mother never taught me these things, and I am hoping that someone would teach me.

 

[Sketcher]

It's not sinful to hug members of the opposite sex. But never create a situation where someone "has" to hug you. Some people like to hug a lot, others believe that hugs should be reserved for dating, family, and funerals. I'm the second type. I don't view the women who hug too much for my taste as "wicked". I view them as women I would have a hard time relating to on this subject.

 

[Messerve]

What if a man doesn't communicate that it stirs up sexual things for him? Should I avoid hugging all men just to be safe?

I don't think that would be your fault... I was told that on average it takes 20 seconds for a hug to cause oxytocin to be released into your brain triggering feelings of attachment or arousal. That's a pretty long hug, and I think most people would pull away before twenty seconds were up! If you know the guy decently, I wouldn't worry over a normal hug.

I like what Citanul says. Hugs are mainly for people you are already close to. It's not as intimate as a kiss so it's acceptable between friends regardless of gender.

I find that women definitely hug more. If I'm meeting a family that is close to my own family, the wife will always give me a hug and the husband either a hug or a handshake. There has never been anything awkward about other men's wives giving me a hug. But then I'm not married, either...

There was one time I was visiting a friend's family and as I was saying goodbye, the father gave me a huge bear hug. Now that was a little unusual! But because I knew the family were strong Christians, I actually found it to be a very kind gesture. I almost never get bear hugs.

 

[Messerve]

Who are you hugging and why? Do you hug both men and women the same way?

I think your hyperfocus on what should be a casual warm greeting could be a problem. Unless you live in a very structured, men separate from women (where no woman would ever hug a man she wasn't related to), hugging isn't considered a sexual activity. It is more important to consider the situation. If you ever hug someone who behaves inappropriate, just don't hug that person again. I don't believe that a hug is a sexual act. It is more an act of friendship and fellowship. It isn't even sexual between married people. If your hug is causing a young man to think sexual thoughts, then chances are that your presence is doing the same thing. It isn't anything that you actually do but rather because you are a female that he is attracted to. This is just the way God wired men. If it is a stubbling block to him, then it is his issue to deal with. Of course, this is assuming that you are not dressing sexually, flirting with him, or acting sexual in other ways.

Need a way to tell. "Would you behave this way with your grandparents in the room watching." If the answer is "yes", then most likely that you are "okay".

Depends on your grandparents...

 

[Elliewaves]

Just side hug, like the Duggars, lol.

 

[blackribbon]

A quick "hi" hug is okay if that is the normal way people around you say "hi". Save big hugs for your close girlfriends as emotional support and family members who you feel safe with (the rest get quick hugs).

And if you have doubts on what you should or should do as a Christian single woman, error side of not doing it until you can ask some the older women around you that you respect.

The guidelines of touch have to be situational and individualized for the situation.

 

[straightcurvylines]

A quick "hi" hug is okay if that is the normal way people around you say "hi". Save big hugs for your close girlfriends as emotional support and family members who you feel safe with (the rest get quick hugs).

And if you have doubts on what you should or should do as a Christian single woman, error side of not doing it until you can ask some the older women around you that you respect.

The guidelines of touch have to be situational and individualized for the situation.

Okay, thank you for that.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

Honestly, I wouldn't overthink it too much. I don't know if you have been accused of causing other people to stumble before or if this is coming from somewhere else, but at the end of the day you can only control your own behavior and leave other people to control theirs. You can dress in a full-length denim skirt every day for the rest of your life and guys who are not guarding their minds will still manage to lust.
The best thing you can do is check your own heart to make sure it is in the right place regarding these different things you are asking about. Why do you hug men? Is it for completely platonic intentions? If so, there is nothing wrong with it. Does your dress dignify yourself as a beautiful, precious creation of God? If so, then you are totally fine. Ultimately I don't think it does any good to set ground rules about what is or isn't modest. At the end of the day, I think we all know modesty or immodesty when we see it. If you are staying inside the framework of what you understand to be modest, you are all good, but do it out of love for yourself and honor toward God and not out of trying to prevent men from stumbling. I really appreciate your heart in that, but at the end of the day you can't control other people's thoughts.

 

[timewerx]

Does hugging stir up sexual desire? Am I causing my brothers in Christ to sin?

I have pure intentions when I hug, but I am worried that my hugging might be interpreted as something more than friendly.

Yes, it could. I imagine it could stir lust stronger than say, eye contact, greetings, hand shake. I'm speaking from the perspective of a man.

In our church, the opposite sex can shake hands, greet each other, talk, but not hug and hold hands, unless they're married.

So yep, you may avoid doing it.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Yes, it could. I imagine it could stir lust stronger than say, eye contact, greetings, hand shake. I'm speaking from the perspective of a man.

In our church, the opposite sex can shake hands, greet each other, talk, but not hug and hold hands, unless they're married.

So yep, you may avoid doing it.

What kind of nonsense is that? How long have you been in that bondage? Nevermind. More loving and patient questions would be: When is the last time Holy Spirit moved in your meetings with someone getting healed or delivered? What's the last prophetic utterance that's been given to your congregation? Moreover, when is the last time someone gave their heart and life over to Jesus in your services for the first time?

 

[timewerx]

More loving and patient questions would be: When is the last time Holy Spirit moved in your meetings with someone getting healed or delivered? What's the last prophetic utterance that's been given to your congregation? Moreover, when is the last time someone gave their heart and life over to Jesus in your services for the first time?

Uhh, the last time I've been to church, last week.

Not everyone is the same. We a have different temptations. The temptation to lust might be weak in you. However, it's strong in me. I'm still quite young in physical terms.

I'd rather not put myself in a situation that could impair my judgement. Luckily, it's easy to avoid these situations.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Prolonged eye contact will stir up more sexual desires than touching them will. Hugs are completely benign - it's all of those quiet vibes and soft little cues you give off to a man that REALLY do it, and you'll likely not even notice them.

We're impure, just as God intended. Unless your only motivation in life is being a snob.

 

[Miles]

No. Not unless there's something else going on. Maybe if you're grinding or groping or something like that, but those things aren't a hug.

 

[dayhiker]

I don't see anything sinful with hugging, looking someone in the eyes and shaking hands.

Remember Paul said we were to kiss one another ... that would be a kiss on the cheek no doult.

 

[Antari Zephyr]

It boils down to temptations, thoughts, sexual desire, etc. If you are simply hugging them without anything sinful on your mind, there's nothing wrong.
If you have any sort of sexual thoughts or temptations about the same gender, yes, avoid hugging. Otherwise, so long as no sinful things are in your mind, it's fine.

When I was locked up in a psych ward (false accusation) there was a guy who they put in my room. I woke to find him there when it was empty before. Of course I was worried something had happened, but when he woke up, despite being 2 feet taller than me and muscular, he cried like a baby. So I told him to hide that fear or the others would mess with him or beat him. I was basically counseling him, and afterwards he hugged me and said thanks. Nothing weird was in my mind.

Another time my aunt, a bit mentally unstable, called the police on me because she thought I was going to kill her. An officer arrived, I walked to him and told him I was the one she called about. I explained everything, including how my dad just died and she stole his ashes, art, clothes, and said my mom and I were beating him when he was dying of cancer. The officer believed me as I cried when I recalled my dad was gone, so he hugged me. Nothing weird in my mind there.

 

[HamoNinja]

Dear @straightcurvylines

Firstly, thanks for sharing... very brave of you to be open about such things in your life...

Secondly, can I ask why have you posed this question or where does this line of questioning for yourself stem from?

Thirdly, some great feedback in this thread (and not so much)...but at the end of the day... If our Jesus who we all claim to follow at this present time is your Lord and Savior, then hold fast to this and focus on His presence, daily... every waking moment... immerse yourself in His love for you...

No matter whatever else, for or against.... is spoken about this topic... always remember that for yourself... not others but for yourself and that Jesus is your Lover of your soul... He alone reigns in your heart of hearts... so your daily contact with anyone regardless male or female... you will be sensing the Holy Spirit to guide you, to prompt you as you walk your journey...

Don't over complicate things... but also keep yourself safe... you will know as a woman what is comfortable and what is right...

As a young believer... do know dear sister that your first and utmost should be in line with Jesus, everything else is secondary or futile...

Be well!

 

[straightcurvylines]

Dear @straightcurvylines

Firstly, thanks for sharing... very brave of you to be open about such things in your life...

Secondly, can I ask why have you posed this question or where does this line of questioning for yourself stem from?

Thirdly, some great feedback in this thread (and not so much)...but at the end of the day... If our Jesus who we all claim to follow at this present time is your Lord and Savior, then hold fast to this and focus on His presence, daily... every waking moment... immerse yourself in His love for you...

No matter whatever else, for or against.... is spoken about this topic... always remember that for yourself... not others but for yourself and that Jesus is your Lover of your soul... He alone reigns in your heart of hearts... so your daily contact with anyone regardless male or female... you will be sensing the Holy Spirit to guide you, to prompt you as you walk your journey...

Don't over complicate things... but also keep yourself safe... you will know as a woman what is comfortable and what is right...

As a young believer... do know dear sister that your first and utmost should be in line with Jesus, everything else is secondary or futile...

Be well!

Thank you for this reassuring message.
In response to your question, this line of questioning comes from the guilt that I deal with on a regular basis. It is most often about me being in contact with or friendship with men who are not my father. I never received any education on this matter from my family, in fact my family was abusive towards me in this area. God deserves my best, and I don't want to disappointment Him.

 

[HamoNinja]

Thank you for this reassuring message.
In response to your question, this line of questioning comes from the guilt that I deal with on a regular basis. It is most often about me being in contact with or friendship with men who are not my father. I never received any education on this matter from my family, in fact my family was abusive towards me in this area. God deserves my best, and I don't want to disappointment Him.

Thank you again for more insight into your journey...

Abuse no matter how it comes by or by whom is not ok, ever!

Unfortunately family is the most common place where the worst kind of pain stems from (and that the devil uses to steal, kill and destroy the family unit and the individual family member)... but always remember this... something I am also seeing in my own life as of very recently....

The Lord is our Kinsman Redeemer, who will restore to us what was stolen and devoured by the locusts (Joel 2:25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—“).

You are His precious, His beloved and are worth more then all the sparrows in the world... dear sister, always seek Jesus in all you do, even in such matters... He is always ready to listen to your voice and has prepared words of love and encouragement, always to speak to you!!!

No matter what negative words have been spoken over your life, right now in the name of Jesus, by His blood which was shed on the cross at Calvary for yours and my life; I come against all demonic evil word that has ever been spoken over you... and I ask the Holy Spirit to come right now to fill you, to fill you up right now in Jesus name to overflowing with His life, His everlasting mercy and grace into your spirit, your mind and your heart!! In Jesus name. Amen!!

If He is for you, who can be against you — Romans 8:31