Is French Kissing a Mortal Sin?

[LittleNipper]

No, it is just what I have always heard. It has nothing to do with the people of France, it is just the way I have always heard people differentiate between just a peck on the lips and something more in the kissing department.

What if instead of "French" kissing, it was called "African" kissing ---- would that be bias?

 

[cantata]

I don't really know, me and my current boyfriend have talked about it but have decided that we would both regret it right now. I would not be able to enjoy it if I felt like I was doing it too soon. My mom always said to me that if you do something sooner than it is intended, it ruins it for you, so I guess I kind of go by that. I just don't feel it is right for me right now.

That's cool You should of course wait until you feel ready, and it goes without saying that you shouldn't allow yourself to be pressured into having sex by anyone.

I just find the focus on the penetrative act as "real sex" or whatever to be quite interesting. I confess I don't wholly understand it. But I do remember that my virginity mattered to me quite a lot before I lost it, so please don't think I'm having a go at you!

 

[cantata]

What if instead of "French" kissing, it was called "African" kissing ---- would that be bias?

What a bizarre question. The word "bias" is a weird choice, and not just because it's a noun - "discriminatory" or "stereotyping" would be much more appropriate.

It relies on the notion that the French are especially morally loose - cf. French letter, French postcard, pardon my French, &c. So yes, it does rely on a racial stereotype.

 

[LittleNipper]

What a bizarre question. The word "bias" is a weird choice, and not just because it's a noun - "discriminatory" or "stereotyping" would be much more appropriate.

It relies on the notion that the French are especially morally loose - cf. French letter, French postcard, pardon my French, &c. So yes, it does rely on a racial stereotype.

Sorry, pardon my Aficanise...

 

[LittleNipper]

So sorry, please pardon my africanese.

 

[Maxwell511]

The only thing God ever deems strictly as sin when outside of marriage is sex.

Serious question: Assuming what God deems is only written in the bible. Where in the bible does it say how you get married?

The jist of my readings of the bible are that you get married in the eyes of God by having sex. Once you have sex you are married to that person. The idea of having sex before marriage seems to be is a social construct with no religious basis. It is the whole if you start having sex with other people that makes God angry. That whole adultery thing.

Can you point me to any passage in the bible where it can be interpreted that sex before marriage exists in the eyes of God?

 

[DeathMagus]

The jist of my readings of the bible are that you get married in the eyes of God by having sex. Once you have sex you are married to that person. The idea of having sex before marriage seems to be is a social construct with no religious basis. It is the whole if you start having sex with other people that makes God angry. That whole adultery thing.

Well right - I believe that's the case. It's similar to divorce for Catholics - not technically a sin according to the Catholic faith - it's the relationship you're in afterward that's a sin, since you're (in Catholic terms) still married to your original wife.

 

[Zentancia]

Zent, I appreciate your honesty, but I also feel you have fallen into the lie the media has been stuffing down our throats at least since the 60's, the lie that "sexual compatibility" should be explored before marriage.

Sex without marriage is dangerous physically, emotionally and above all spiritually. Physically it exposes you to the danger of STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Emotionally it attaches you to a person who may be wrong for you, not what the Lord has planned at all.

Even more dangerous, sex without marriage opens the door for Satan's hosts to attack you and take you away from the one relationship that means more than everything else--your relationship with God.

Sex without marriage is sin. Psalm 66:18 says, "If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear." In other words, if you are in continual ongoing sin then your prayer life is ineffective. Worse, you've left the protective covering God puts over His people, the hedge of protection around us, Job 1:10.

Moreover, the Bible says, "Be not dismayed, God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man sows that will he also reap." What do you think sin reaps? Doesn't it reap the very things Satan wants to happen to you, so that he can steal from you, kill you and destroy you, John 10:10?

Jesus said that He came so that we might have life and have it abundantly, John 10:10. I am a witness to this: If you walk in the Lord's ways, you will be blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed. But what blessing can there be if you are not even under God's covering and protection? You have become an open target for every plan of the enemy.

Consider your ways, the book of Proverbs counsels, be wise. There is a way which seem right to a man but the end of that way is death, Prov. 14:12. Don't go the way of death. Even if Satan doesn't attack you for a while when you enter into sin (sin profits for a season, remember?), in the end that way of life brings destruction.

Surely as a child of God, God means for you to have something much better than this. He wants you to have life, and for your life to count for something. He wants you to have great rewards in eternity. Not everyone who goes to heaven receives the same reward.

Be blessed.

You misunderstand. I do not intend nor want to have sex before I am married. What I am mainly talking about is kissing. I just do not understand how you can know if you are completely compatible with someone if you do not kiss before you marry. I had an ex-boyfriend that I was very happy with, we were emotionally connected, but nothing happened for me when we kissed. I was not happy about it or anything and I knew something was wrong. It just felt wrong. I put a lot of merit on the emotional connection of a relationship but I believe that there is a smaller, but still important part that needs to be explored if you get the "fireworks" so to speak.

 

[LittleNipper]

Serious question: Assuming what God deems is only written in the bible. Where in the bible does it say how you get married?

The jist of my readings of the bible are that you get married in the eyes of God by having sex. Once you have sex you are married to that person. The idea of having sex before marriage seems to be is a social construct with no religious basis. It is the whole if you start having sex with other people that makes God angry. That whole adultery thing.

Can you point me to any passage in the bible where it can be interpreted that sex before marriage exists in the eyes of God?

What the Bible alludes to is one should not have sex and simply walk away, nor share sexual partners.

 

[Ramona]

I don't have enough reps to give...

But I do!

 

[Ramona]

I don't really know, me and my current boyfriend have talked about it but have decided that we would both regret it right now. I would not be able to enjoy it if I felt like I was doing it too soon. My mom always said to me that if you do something sooner than it is intended, it ruins it for you, so I guess I kind of go by that. I just don't feel it is right for me right now.

I think this is a very fair evaluation. Few people regret going "too slow" with their significant others, but many regret going too fast. You're ready when you're ready - ultimately that decision is yours alone to make.

I wish you nothing but happiness, and welcome to CF.

 

[Zentancia]

I think this is a very fair evaluation. Few people regret going "too slow" with their significant others, but many regret going too fast. You're ready when you're ready - ultimately that decision is yours alone to make.

I wish you nothing but happiness, and welcome to CF.

Thank you very much, I really do appreciate it.

 

[DeathMagus]

Few people regret going "too slow" with their significant others, but many regret going too fast. You're ready when you're ready - ultimately that decision is yours alone to make.

Truth

 

[Merlin]

no.
it's not a sin.
sin is a violation of OT law
kissing does not violate the law.

 

[Ariel]

You misunderstand. I do not intend nor want to have sex before I am married. What I am mainly talking about is kissing. I just do not understand how you can know if you are completely compatible with someone if you do not kiss before you marry. I had an ex-boyfriend that I was very happy with, we were emotionally connected, but nothing happened for me when we kissed. I was not happy about it or anything and I knew something was wrong. It just felt wrong. I put a lot of merit on the emotional connection of a relationship but I believe that there is a smaller, but still important part that needs to be explored if you get the "fireworks" so to speak.

I stand corrected, and I applaud you for your decision to wait.

As for kissing--I don't believe that it is necessary to exchange saliva in order to determine compatibility. I kissed a lot of guys before I married, and some of them were great kissers. But I praise God that I didn't marry them. If I had chosen a husband on that criteria alone I would have missed the one God meant for me. He's a much better kisser now than he was then!

I am also glad I didn't sleep with any of them. My husband was the first, I am glad I saved myself for him.

Don't get fooled by the physical. There are so many things in a marriage which are more important--friendship, shared beliefs, compatibility of personalities, a sense of humor, and much more.

 

[Zentancia]

I stand corrected, and I applaud you for your decision to wait.

As for kissing--I don't believe that it is necessary to exchange saliva in order to determine compatibility. I kissed a lot of guys before I married, and some of them were great kissers. But I praise God that I didn't marry them. If I had chosen a husband on that criteria alone I would have missed the one God meant for me. He's a much better kisser now than he was then!

I am also glad I didn't sleep with any of them. My husband was the first, I am glad I saved myself for him.

Don't get fooled by the physical. There are so many things in a marriage which are more important--friendship, shared beliefs, compatibility of personalities, a sense of humor, and much more.

I am very aware that these are all very important components in a relationship (I definitely love a good sense of humor ) I am just saying that you can be connected with someone on every other level and not be compatible physically (you don't find them as attractive as you should, they don't find you as attractive as they should, etc.). It is one of the more minor things when choosing a spouse, but I still believe it is important to know before it becomes anything serious. Like I said, I had a boyfriend that I cared about very much, we had a great time together and he was my best friend, but when I kissed him nothing happened and I knew something was wrong. Looking back I can tell that we were not meant to be, but kissing is one of the things that let me in on that at the time. Again, I agree that you should not get too physical too quickly because that can definitely backfire on you, but being best friends and connecting emotionally are not enough to be able to tell if you are meant to be married. You may be meant to be friends for life, but not necessarily married.

The boyfriend that I spoke of when it came to the topic of this thread, on the other hand, thought that even a peck on the lips was "icky" even though he had never done it before. He thought that even that would ruin the evening, and this was before the said chastity talk where French kissing became the issue. I was just confused, because I didn't know how to deal with it, and since he had never heard of the whole kissing being a mortal sin thing before, I didn't know if it was a well known thing or if people at this specific church had just not heard of it.

Either way, thanks for your feedback