My father cheated on my mother and every marige in my famliy has eather failed or they would stay to gether and started to hate each other. My parrents, Grand Parents, ants, uncals and great grand parents. Is this genitc? Am I doom to end up like them?
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Is Cheating and unheathy marriges genetic?
- Thread starter Loner
- Start date
Loner: I would not look at this way. There is a lot of pain in the world, not to mention your own family. You are aware of the magnitude of divorce and struggles in your own family...embrace it and pray for your family members...use the history as a cautionary one, not a debilitating or constricting tale that will color you relationships with a future spouse. Trust in our Lord...forgive your family.
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I'm sorry your family is full of dysfunctional marriages, but no... it is not genetic. If you love a woman enough to date her, you will respect her by not cheating on her! If you fall in love with someone while dating, tell your girlfriend how you feel so you have the choice to go with one girl or the other without harming either.Loner said:
Learn from your family's mistakes, do not give in to them under the lame excuse that, "my family did it, so I guess I'm doomed to do it too."
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In the sense that sin is "genetic", that is to say, the temptation towards it exists in our fallen bodies, then yes. But you have the Spirit of God in you, so rely on that.
1 Cor 10:13
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
KJV
That's the mantra verse as far as I am concerned when people begin to try to tell you that this or that sin is genetic.
1 Cor 10:13
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
KJV
That's the mantra verse as far as I am concerned when people begin to try to tell you that this or that sin is genetic.
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Nope. Divorce is not genetic. It's easier for family members to go with the trends that other family members do rather than stand firm in faithfulness and loyalty.
You are certainly not doomed like your other family members. There are some family members are mine that have been married almost 65 years. I hope that is also your story later in life.
"Daniel of the Island"is correct. Respecting a girl is a good start to being faithful to her when you start to date one. Do that you and you will have a good foundation to start on.
You are certainly not doomed like your other family members. There are some family members are mine that have been married almost 65 years. I hope that is also your story later in life.
"Daniel of the Island"is correct. Respecting a girl is a good start to being faithful to her when you start to date one. Do that you and you will have a good foundation to start on.
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No, you don't have to be like them. I used to worry about that, too.
The way not to get divorced is to decide ahead of time divorce is not an option, and make sure your mate feels the same way. My husband made me promise not to even use the word "divorce" when we would fight. It was a good promise to make.
The way not to get divorced is to decide ahead of time divorce is not an option, and make sure your mate feels the same way. My husband made me promise not to even use the word "divorce" when we would fight. It was a good promise to make.
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Alpine
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It's either learned behavior. Or, it could be generational curses brought on by the disobediance of someone in your family many years ago. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own lives and our own choices. You can't blame grandpa for your mistakes today. So, in that sense, you should approach it as you are your own person. And if you're a Christian then you have a new identity in Christ as well.
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PaladinWithGun2
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Loner said:
Loner, you could be a relative of mine with that short bio. I'll confess to you that there is only one healthy marriage in my family, and I have seventeen aunts and fifteen uncles, two brothers and seven sisters. I'm on my third marriage, and I cheated in both previous marriages, but it was not genetics' fault. I lacked moral character and good role models, and I decided to emulate what I knew. It was my fault by choices I made, not a curse handed down through my genes.
Now, after a lifetime of being WAY wrong, I'm happily married. My wife has been a real friend of mine since high school; we never dated or even touched hands. We valued the honesty and support that we gave each other, and we kept in contact over the years. So the secret is this: learn how to be the best friend you can be, value everything about your friends even when they disagree with you, and always be honest with them and expect all the same in return. My wife is STILL my friend, because that friendship is second to God in importance to me and I do whatever it takes (joyfully) to keep it alive. Hope this helps.
Shawn
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