Is an Apology Necessary?

[ozso]

Failure has not been ruled out, ".........if you did everything right but failed."

How can that be?

Well, you cannot please everyone.

Well I said: You can be sorry things didn't turn out right.

And he replied: That would not be an apology, though. That would be more accurately considered sympathy.

So I took that as ruling out the failure part of apology.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

"Sometimes you can do everything right...and still fail." -- Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

If you did everything right and still failed...do you own anyone an apology, even if your failure caused them injury?

Is there a clear and real-world example in which this problem manifests itself? For the life of me, I can't think of one.

Philosophically, the crux of the problem here is conceptual in nature and hinges on whose concept of "doing it right" is acting as the authoritative moral metric by which we are evaluating the said situation.

 

[RDKirk]

Is there a clear and real-world example in which this problem manifests itself? For the life of me, I can't think of one.

Philosophically, the crux of the problem here is conceptual in nature and hinges on whose concept of "doing it right" is acting as the authoritative moral metric by which we are evaluating the said situation.

When the answer to the questions "What could I have done better in the situation?" or "What did I do wrong in the situation?" is "Nothing."

Is an apology owed when nothing wrong was done?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

When the answer to the questions "What could I have done better in the situation?" or "What did I do wrong in the situation?" is "Nothing."

Is an apology owed when nothing wrong was done?

No, an apology is not owed in such a case. Is there someone "out there" who is demanding that we think otherwise?

 

[RDKirk]

Failure has not been ruled out, ".........if you did everything right but failed."

How can that be?

Well, you cannot please everyone.

@ozso gave a good example. Your own actions were perfectly correct but were overcome anyway.

 

[linux.poet]

Is there a clear and real-world example in which this problem manifests itself?

The scenario that comes to mind is when your parent pays for your college, and you go. You get some awful illness, like mono or similar, and you failed your college semester. You did everything right: got a doctor’s note, medical withdrawal from the semester, etc. Do you need to apologize to your parent?

* * *

What is strange about this scenario is that it doesn’t rule out bad actions by the person you would be apologizing to. That’s the rub for me. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World, but I don’t care what Skillet says, we’re not.

Let’s change up the scenario above. Let’s say my parent has emotionally abused me all my life and given me a case of CPTSD. They pay for my college, and I go. I fail out of college due to CPTSD symptoms. I did everything right: sought psychological help, got a medical withdrawal from the semester, established and used Christian my support network, used tools such as journaling and body exercises and tea to manage the symptoms, and I still failed. Do I need to apologize to my parent?

Answer: No. My parent might be out $13K for that botched semester, but it was their own fault. They deserve what they got.

Let’s take ozso’s scenario. What if the passenger who T-boned your car wasn’t a random bad driver, but the passengers’ crazy mad nephew who is infuriated because your passenger stole 13K from them? Do you really owe your passenger an apology?

Answer: No. Frankly your passenger owes you a new car!

With this in mind, I’m just going with no here. We’re human beings, with finite resources, and we are not responsible for what God does or other people’s sin.

 

[RDKirk]

The scenario that comes to mind is when your parent pays for your college, and you go. You get some awful illness, like mono or similar, and you failed your college semester. You did everything right: got a doctor’s note, medical withdrawal from the semester, etc. Do you need to apologize to your parent?

* * *

What is strange about this scenario is that it doesn’t rule out bad actions by the person you would be apologizing to. That’s the rub for me. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World, but I don’t care what Skillet says, we’re not.

Let’s change up the scenario above. Let’s say my parent has emotionally abused me all my life and given me a case of CPTSD. They pay for my college, and I go. I fail out of college due to CPTSD symptoms. I did everything right: sought psychological help, got a medical withdrawal from the semester, established and used Christian my support network, used tools such as journaling and body exercises and tea to manage the symptoms, and I still failed. Do I need to apologize to my parent?

Answer: No. My parent might be out $13K for that botched semester, but it was their own fault. They deserve what they got.

Let’s take ozso’s scenario. What if the passenger who T-boned your car wasn’t a random bad driver, but the passengers’ crazy mad nephew who is infuriated because your passenger stole 13K from them? Do you really owe your passenger an apology?

Answer: No. Frankly your passenger owes you a new car!

With this in mind, I’m just going with no here. We’re human beings, with finite resources, and we are not responsible for what God does or other people’s sin.

I think this gets to the point.

An apology presumes responsibility and that there was a requirement for accountability.