Introvert/ Introversion Awareness

[star in the sky]

YO ! to all the introverts out there (Yes I am one)! Of course anyone is welcome here whether you are introverted or extroverted This thread will focus on introversion / introvert awareness, please add your 2 cents as Im certainly not an expert. Its for awareness plus sharing your own thoughts, comments , hurts, personal stories and encouragement and support.

 

[star in the sky]

I found this link helpful in identifying the 'myths' about Introversion which saves me alot of content ,description and time so that I dont have to type up a whole lot on this subject - in my opinion I feel it generally covers the subject.

10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop

Along with this I wanted to ask what occupation/jobs do you think are most likely given to an extrovert over an introvert? In my personal experience teaching jobs -teachers are most likely to be extroverts, lawyers ? I dont know about lawyers. Please comment on the link and share your personal stories I.e the comments I get alot is 'you need to talk more 'Are you ok?' Whats wrong?' Why are you down? 'You need to smile more' - as if feeling down and sad is related to introversion and specifically when an introvert doesnt feel like talking -which was said to me too at a barbecue one one time and honestly I went away hurt and it totally ruined the night for me I couldn't erase it from my mind that night when I came home. I felt like I was 'different' in some way and an outsider like I caused some problem! Not true as an introvert and as introverts we are not a problem we are just wired differently, God made us that way and if a gift was given to you you either enjoy it , appreciate or you dont or to be optismistic you learn to appreciate and grow in that .

 

[star in the sky]

Another question I wanted to ask was how do you feel when someone who you know is an extrovert says they are an introvert , how do you feel about that? - and sometimes we dont know whether someone is a extrovert or introvert nor the person themselves may not be sure either.

As introverts we know we are one and when someone who is say bubbly a person who loves sharing stories with colourful expressions the life of the party type that everyone knows they are there and we just slip or quietly enter into the room says they are an introvert its confusing as I had this experience with someone. To tell you the truth I had mixed emotions like I was confused considering all the audience they had captured with their animated jokes and stories , I laughed or tried not to laugh and laughed later on I admit but also at the time I felt completely misunderstood , not only are we misunderstood but there are extroverts who call them selves and feel they are introverts when clearly they are not. For the person I felt sorry for they are confused about themselves but I feel introverts have tried to adapt to a highly extroverted world its time extroverts in this case dont have fun and games with the term 'introvert' particularly if people that know you and that you clearly are identified as an extrovert dont make ignorant statements like that. That is hurtful to introverts and shows a real lack of understanding.

 

[Inkachu]

Fellow introverts! I'm a lifelong INFJ and proud of it I appreciated the article you linked to, Star, and I'd like to comment on the points in it.


Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. Very true for me! I've never been a talker. I despise "chit chat" and I've had to force myself to learn it and practice it so I can function "acceptably" in public or at work. My instinct is to stand there and look at the person chatting at me and just smile and not say anything. I say "OK" a lot as a response to things. That frustrates people sometimes, but if I don't have anything else to say, I figure I should at least acknowledge that I heard them by saying "OK" lol. And it's true that, if I HAVE something to say, and someone willing to listen, I can talk perfectly well

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. Not shy at all. I can shake hands with politicians without batting an eye. I WAS very shy as a child, and I wonder if other introverts were as well? Is this common for introverted children?

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. This happens to me all the time right here on CF lol. I don't beat around the bush, I don't coddle, I don't walk on eggshells. But neither do I come at somebody with the intention of being harsh or mean. Sometimes I feel like somebody just needs the plain ol' truth, and I'll say it. Our overly politicized society cringes at such behavior, but I really don't care Trying to "fit in" by cushioning everything I say with flowery softness is INDEED exhausting! And feels very fake.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in. We don't like "the general public" as a whole, I think. Society seems more like a bunch of mindless lemmings to us. But one-on-one interactions are different. Given the chance to connect with another person, we're usually very perceptive, intuitive, and interested in that person. And because we're so loyal and invested once we allow someone into our hearts, we keep our circle of intimates to a select few. We'd rather be fiercely loyal to a handful of loved ones, than try to carry on lukewarm friendships with dozens.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. This one I don't really agree with (or the author just didn't state it well). I love being out in public, but not constantly. The length of time is really irrelevant, I enjoy spending the whole day in the city sometimes, I love the energy and the busyness of it. But I wouldn't want to live there day in and day out. So I don't rush in, get bored quickly, and want to rush home again; that's not accurate (at least not for me).

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time. Definitely not true. Now, I enjoy being alone much more than the average person; I could be alone for days on end without being much bothered for company. But would I want to spend my whole life without another person around? No way. I also don't think my "sincere connections" have to be limited to "ONE PERSON at a time". For example, I live with two guys; my husband and my son. My favorite times of all are being with both of them together, as a family. However, if they're both yapping at once, and I can't hear myself think, that gets annoying lol.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. You say "weird", I say "awesome"

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. Like it says, I'm "inward" not "aloof". Aloof suggests that I snub people because I think I'm superior. In reality, I more or less keep to myself because I don't feel connected to them or understood by them, and I don't mind that.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up. I enjoy relaxing in a quiet atmosphere, but I DO love thrill seeking! I'm a roller coaster junkie, for example I do understand about the "shutting down" thing, though. If I'm in a crowded room with everyone talking at once, I just want to get into a corner and stick my fingers in my ears.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. "Fix" myself? Why would I want to change anything? I'm awesome! BEHOLD MY AWESOMENESS!

 

[Inkachu]

Another question I wanted to ask was how do you feel when someone who you know is an extrovert says they are an introvert , how do you feel about that? - and sometimes we dont know whether someone is a extrovert or introvert nor the person themselves may not be sure either.

I might chuckle and shake my head and think "yeah, right!" But I certainly wouldn't feel hurt or upset. A lot of people don't know themselves very well. And the average person isn't VERY introverted or VERY extroverted, they're a mixture, so it's reasonable that they might be unsure about which line they fall across. I don't see why it would be a big deal to anyone?

 

[bhsmte]

I tend to be an introvert myself and I have not problem dealing with people, etc., so that is a huge myth about introverts.

Introverts are just typically very analytical people and they don't have much of an appetite for people who are phony or a lot of bull talk. Introverts typically don't make an effort to be perceived as someone they are not, while I believe extroverts are constantly trying desperately to create a certain public perception of themselves they find appealing.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I'm quite introverted but it doesn't really affect me socially. I just prefer to let others do the talking and to observe instead of jumping in. It takes me a while to get to know someone and I treat words like they're expensive: don't use them unless they're necessary. I can be more extroverted around certain friends and family but that's a small number of people. Only my parents, sister, and wife really get to see that side of me.

The one thing that irritates me is when I see things online like "Caring for Your Introvert" or "How to Help Your Introverted Family Members", as if we're helpless pets who need constant attention. It's idiotic and condescending. Just because we're not making noise and trying to be the center of attention doesn't mean we're not actively engaged or capable of functioning. This is one reason why I loathe "networking" and going to social events where people rub elbows and expect you to walk around making boring small talk just to make connections. It always comes off as desperate and cheap to me, a fake attempt to try and convince others to pay attention to you. It's just not fun for someone like me.

One thing I've learned is to ask unexpected questions that cut out the usual banter and really let me know someone. For instance, I've found that asking people who their favorite Muppet is will tell me more about them than ten minutes of "What do you do?" or "Where are you from?". Your favorite Muppet tells me so much about you and it saves me time of having to ask predictable questions. I've also found that asking "What do you like to do?" or "What are your hobbies?" are equally as effective. Many people are having trouble finding work or feel unhappy with their jobs and asking "Where do you work?" is embarrassing and uncomfortable for many people (myself included). If they love what they do they'll tell you eventually; you don't have to dig hard to find it. When you focus on who they are instead of what they do you'll learn more and meet them on an honest level that makes a real difference.

 

[Affliction]

Fellow introverts! I'm a lifelong INFJ and proud of it I appreciated the article you linked to, Star, and I'd like to comment on the points in it.


Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. Very true for me! I've never been a talker. I despise "chit chat" and I've had to force myself to learn it and practice it so I can function "acceptably" in public or at work. My instinct is to stand there and look at the person chatting at me and just smile and not say anything. I say "OK" a lot as a response to things. That frustrates people sometimes, but if I don't have anything else to say, I figure I should at least acknowledge that I heard them by saying "OK" lol. And it's true that, if I HAVE something to say, and someone willing to listen, I can talk perfectly well

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. Not shy at all. I can shake hands with politicians without batting an eye. I WAS very shy as a child, and I wonder if other introverts were as well? Is this common for introverted children?

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. This happens to me all the time right here on CF lol. I don't beat around the bush, I don't coddle, I don't walk on eggshells. But neither do I come at somebody with the intention of being harsh or mean. Sometimes I feel like somebody just needs the plain ol' truth, and I'll say it. Our overly politicized society cringes at such behavior, but I really don't care Trying to "fit in" by cushioning everything I say with flowery softness is INDEED exhausting! And feels very fake.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in. We don't like "the general public" as a whole, I think. Society seems more like a bunch of mindless lemmings to us. But one-on-one interactions are different. Given the chance to connect with another person, we're usually very perceptive, intuitive, and interested in that person. And because we're so loyal and invested once we allow someone into our hearts, we keep our circle of intimates to a select few. We'd rather be fiercely loyal to a handful of loved ones, than try to carry on lukewarm friendships with dozens.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. This one I don't really agree with (or the author just didn't state it well). I love being out in public, but not constantly. The length of time is really irrelevant, I enjoy spending the whole day in the city sometimes, I love the energy and the busyness of it. But I wouldn't want to live there day in and day out. So I don't rush in, get bored quickly, and want to rush home again; that's not accurate (at least not for me).

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time. Definitely not true. Now, I enjoy being alone much more than the average person; I could be alone for days on end without being much bothered for company. But would I want to spend my whole life without another person around? No way. I also don't think my "sincere connections" have to be limited to "ONE PERSON at a time". For example, I live with two guys; my husband and my son. My favorite times of all are being with both of them together, as a family. However, if they're both yapping at once, and I can't hear myself think, that gets annoying lol.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. You say "weird", I say "awesome"

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. Like it says, I'm "inward" not "aloof". Aloof suggests that I snub people because I think I'm superior. In reality, I more or less keep to myself because I don't feel connected to them or understood by them, and I don't mind that.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up. I enjoy relaxing in a quiet atmosphere, but I DO love thrill seeking! I'm a roller coaster junkie, for example I do understand about the "shutting down" thing, though. If I'm in a crowded room with everyone talking at once, I just want to get into a corner and stick my fingers in my ears.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. "Fix" myself? Why would I want to change anything? I'm awesome! BEHOLD MY AWESOMENESS!

Ahhh small world. INFJ here.

 

[Inkachu]

The one thing that irritates me is when I see things online like "Caring for Your Introvert" or "How to Help Your Introverted Family Members", as if we're helpless pets who need constant attention. It's idiotic and condescending.

LOL!

Case in point...

 

[janny108]

I'm an introvert! I'm glad thread was started! I have a question since someone else brought this up: what kind of jobs are best for folks like us? I don't dislike working with people but I don't know if I could put up with something like front desk receptionist. I have some medical training, but it seems like jobs out there are front desk receptionist and I don't have enough knowledge/experience with other office work in a medical setting. I'm unsure of myself careerwise right now. I know people that have a job and they have a a part time job that they like...any suggestions welcome.

 

[Tigger45]

Subscribing

 

[star in the sky]

yeh I wont post posts definitely a place for introverts to talk about themselves- if that doesnt sound too vain.

 

[star in the sky]

Posts as in articles I meant articles

 

[xounstaer]

YO ! to all the introverts out there (Yes I am one)! Of course anyone is welcome here whether you are introverted or extroverted This thread will focus on introversion / introvert awareness, please add your 2 cents as Im certainly not an expert. Its for awareness plus sharing your own thoughts, comments , hurts, personal stories and encouragement and support.

i wish to say ty for this thread, i'm gonna subscribe to this.
for many years, certainly the last five i have been wondering if there is 'any others like me'

which can mean a whole lot introvert as well as the other way around.

but i want to read all that has been posted also but i am nit really a reader so thsi is my 2 pennies for now.

 

[star in the sky]

Dont let anyone put you in a box while were we may be introverts we have our own personality and character we can be the best introverts we can be. Ive learnt to crack jokes be loud at times usually when Im laughing or telling jokes (being loud isnt that often) - I've had to give myself permission to be loud because as a 'inny' -lol thats just my way of saying introvert ;P dont use that nickname/name if you dont feel comfortable with it (inny) -it doesnt feel 'right' or natural to raise my voice im pretty introverted but God helps you love him/love life . One of the greatest pieces of advice I was given was dont let anyone call you 'shy' I firmly believe theres a difference between quietly confident or a confident quiet person and shyness. I was shy when I was very small but that was rooted in self centeredness as I've grown in God I want to give give give ! - to thank God for saving my life .

 

[angelT17]

An introvert is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as: A SHY PERSON: a quite person who does not find it easy to talk to other people. The Oxford Dictionary defines an introvert as a shy, reticent person.

Here is an interesting read:
http://www.canadianbusiness.com/lifestyle/why-the-world-needs-more-introverts/http://www.christianforums.com/t7764799-2/

 

[star in the sky]

.

whats the full stop for?

 

[angelT17]

whats the full stop for?

I edited the post ^

 

[star in the sky]

I edited the post ^

ohh right youve put the full quote in, opps awkward moment. Sorry. About your dictionary definition every introvert on this thread will have different views, beliefs on whether they class themselves as shy, personally me ? No. I dont want to be labelled and while dictionaries are useful to me there not the all in all , the final say. Interestly to find what the others here consider themselves as shy. Like I pointed it out with my story/ comment sometimes shyness particulary for introverts is during childhood but not adulthood.

 

[star in the sky]

Thanks for the article too Angel. Very much appreciated. By the way folks we dont have to be limited to posting articles
if weve got some artists in here like myself do some artistic work/art on what it means to be an introvert! Hey jazz it up bit if you want, you know. As a melancholy and an artist I learn to think more abstract and creative with my ideas im growing in myself as a melancholy.