Hello to all!
I joined this board for two reasons, one professional, one personal. I'll begin with the former...
I am a Literature graduate student, looking to expand my knowledge on my secondary interests. Unfortunately, tenure-track positions for Literature PhDs are declining each year, and I've been advised by many of my professors to cultivate secondary interests in order to make myself more employable. One of these interests include religion. In my undergrad, I took quite a few classes in religion, graduating with almost enough credits in the subject to qualify for a second major (unfortunately, the university that I attended did not offer a major or minor in the subject). I am sincerely hoping that, despite being a Buddhist, the administration here might grant me limited access to some of the "Christian-only" forums for educational purposes. I do not, in any way, wish to disrupt the board, or debate the merits of Christianity, but I would like the input of Christians on certain topic matters. If administration is open to this, I'll gladly discuss the matter via PM, and provide whatever details needed (my educational background, etc.) to prove that I am legitamately interested in this board for educational purposes. I am familiar with the Bible (I have read it several times), so I am not ignorant of the scripture; I simply want to gleam a better understanding of those who adhere to it.
Secondly, on a personal note, my boyfriend and I are discussing marriage. We don't have the money to pay for a wedding... but his wealthy, Christian (maternal) grandmother does. I don't want anything lavish, but a small, simple ceremony. My boyfriend believes she might be open to paying for the expenses, but neither of us are sure under what conditions. I'm sure she would like the wedding to be in a church, but neither of us are Christian, and we think that having our wedding in a church would not only be unsuitable for us, but inappropriate and offensive to our Christian friends and family members. We also, obviously, do not want to go through any "pre-marital couseling" conducted by the church. I'd prefer, of course, to be married by a Buddhist "chaplain" (my boyfriend, who is agnostic, has no problem with this), but we're willing to negotiate. We've brought up the idea of being married by a mayor or judge, only to his grandmother's displeasure, so we're now looking into finding a Universalist Unitarian minister to perform the service. We're unsure as to whether or not this with satisfy her, but we're hoping...
For the sake of details, we are not willing to budge on the following: (1) We refuse to be wed in a church, (2) we refuse to undergo any church-conducted pre-marital counseling, (3) we refuse to lie or deceive anyone in this process. I'd like to negotiate this all in a civil, reasonable manner that will leave everyone happy. My family is predominately Atheist, so a church wedding would be extemely uncomfortable for them, I'm sure. We are also trying to negotiate the issue of alcohol being served at our wedding, since my boyfriend's paternal extended family does not drink, and looks down upon it heavily (this is rooted in their Christian faith). My family, on the other hand, are avid (responsible) drinkers, as are my boyfriend, myself and our friends.
In short, it's going to be an interesting wedding to say the least. I would love for everyone to simply have a good time, and enjoy the eclectic nature of the gathering. Unfortunately, I think that we're going to have difficulties with both sides of the family, given that some of my family members are as ardently Atheist as his are Christian. My dad, for example, doesn't even like the idea of a Buddhist chaplain marrying us, and tends to voice his opinions LOUDLY about his disbelief in God. Though I consider my father one of my best friends (and enjoy our personal religious debates), I will not allow him to disrespect my boyfriend's family by voicing those opinions to them.
Anyway, any input as to how we should negotiate all this would be greatly appreciated.
On a final note, if anyone has any questions regarding my faith (I am a practicing Tibetan Buddhist), I welcome them, and will answer to the best of my abilities.
I joined this board for two reasons, one professional, one personal. I'll begin with the former...
I am a Literature graduate student, looking to expand my knowledge on my secondary interests. Unfortunately, tenure-track positions for Literature PhDs are declining each year, and I've been advised by many of my professors to cultivate secondary interests in order to make myself more employable. One of these interests include religion. In my undergrad, I took quite a few classes in religion, graduating with almost enough credits in the subject to qualify for a second major (unfortunately, the university that I attended did not offer a major or minor in the subject). I am sincerely hoping that, despite being a Buddhist, the administration here might grant me limited access to some of the "Christian-only" forums for educational purposes. I do not, in any way, wish to disrupt the board, or debate the merits of Christianity, but I would like the input of Christians on certain topic matters. If administration is open to this, I'll gladly discuss the matter via PM, and provide whatever details needed (my educational background, etc.) to prove that I am legitamately interested in this board for educational purposes. I am familiar with the Bible (I have read it several times), so I am not ignorant of the scripture; I simply want to gleam a better understanding of those who adhere to it.
Secondly, on a personal note, my boyfriend and I are discussing marriage. We don't have the money to pay for a wedding... but his wealthy, Christian (maternal) grandmother does. I don't want anything lavish, but a small, simple ceremony. My boyfriend believes she might be open to paying for the expenses, but neither of us are sure under what conditions. I'm sure she would like the wedding to be in a church, but neither of us are Christian, and we think that having our wedding in a church would not only be unsuitable for us, but inappropriate and offensive to our Christian friends and family members. We also, obviously, do not want to go through any "pre-marital couseling" conducted by the church. I'd prefer, of course, to be married by a Buddhist "chaplain" (my boyfriend, who is agnostic, has no problem with this), but we're willing to negotiate. We've brought up the idea of being married by a mayor or judge, only to his grandmother's displeasure, so we're now looking into finding a Universalist Unitarian minister to perform the service. We're unsure as to whether or not this with satisfy her, but we're hoping...
For the sake of details, we are not willing to budge on the following: (1) We refuse to be wed in a church, (2) we refuse to undergo any church-conducted pre-marital counseling, (3) we refuse to lie or deceive anyone in this process. I'd like to negotiate this all in a civil, reasonable manner that will leave everyone happy. My family is predominately Atheist, so a church wedding would be extemely uncomfortable for them, I'm sure. We are also trying to negotiate the issue of alcohol being served at our wedding, since my boyfriend's paternal extended family does not drink, and looks down upon it heavily (this is rooted in their Christian faith). My family, on the other hand, are avid (responsible) drinkers, as are my boyfriend, myself and our friends.
In short, it's going to be an interesting wedding to say the least. I would love for everyone to simply have a good time, and enjoy the eclectic nature of the gathering. Unfortunately, I think that we're going to have difficulties with both sides of the family, given that some of my family members are as ardently Atheist as his are Christian. My dad, for example, doesn't even like the idea of a Buddhist chaplain marrying us, and tends to voice his opinions LOUDLY about his disbelief in God. Though I consider my father one of my best friends (and enjoy our personal religious debates), I will not allow him to disrespect my boyfriend's family by voicing those opinions to them.
Anyway, any input as to how we should negotiate all this would be greatly appreciated.
On a final note, if anyone has any questions regarding my faith (I am a practicing Tibetan Buddhist), I welcome them, and will answer to the best of my abilities.
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