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Introducing the Family

bèlla

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Well, that would hurt, but it would depend on why they disapproved. But I don't know that their disapproval would sink the relationship. Maybe it would require more time to prove myself. But either way, marriage is leaving your parents and cleaving to your spouse so we would make it work. Parents have to learn to let go.

What happens when children come along? If you want a family you have to weigh things with that in mind. Parents don’t always come around.

There’s a lot of stories on the marriage board about hellacious in-laws. Be sure you’re up for it. The majority expected changes that never happened. I’ve seen the same more than once and the kids are the biggest losers.

They’re caught in the middle. Sometimes they’re accepted. Oftentimes they hear negative things about their parents. The offending one is usually the scapegoat. They blame them for everything.

People can be ruthless about their children. Christian or not. Justifying their position isn’t hard. Everyone isn’t able to cut ties. Living with it isn’t pretty.

I met someone on the Internet years ago. Her father died when she was young. His family never accepted his wife or children. They lived in a small town. She’d see them drive past. Never stopping. She never knew her grandparents, his siblings, or their children. The rejection wounded her.

You don’t know the lengths someone will go. But there’s signs that clue you in. You have to understand their personality and the way they handle things to counteract their actions. You won’t be unscathed. But you can be prepared.
 
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Somber

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My father mainly wants me to marry a Christian woman, while my mother is more concerned whether or not she's pretty. Although they wouldn't disown me or anything, and as Christians they will ultimately be accepting of the person.

I don't really date much and have a hard time developing feelings for people anyways. So, it rarely comes up. If for whatever reason they were the type of people to not accept her and ridicule her... well, that would pretty much be the end of my relationships with my parents. I'll cut people out of my life if I have too. Good thing my parents are not those type of people though, lol.
That's great that your parents are usually accepting!!! :)

I feel you!! Although I don't think my family would go that far if I was married, if my family did cause too much trouble I would likely distance myself from them. I have a high tolerance for them myself when they are badgering me and such, but I wouldn't tolerate them being hurtful to a significant other, so would definitely get after them about it.
 
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Saucy

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What happens when children come along? If you want a family you have to weigh things with that in mind. Parents don’t always come around.

There’s a lot of stories on the marriage board about hellacious in-laws. Be sure you’re up for it. The majority expected changes that never happened. I’ve seen the same more than once and the kids are the biggest losers.

They’re caught in the middle. Sometimes they’re accepted. Oftentimes they hear negative things about their parents. The offending one is usually the scapegoat. They blame them for everything.

People can be ruthless about their children. Christian or not. Justifying their position isn’t hard. Everyone isn’t able to cut ties. Living with it isn’t pretty.

I met someone on the Internet years ago. Her father died when she was young. His family never accepted his wife or children. They lived in a small town. She’d see them drive past. Never stopping. She never knew her grandparents, his siblings, or their children. The rejection wounded her.

You don’t know the lengths someone will go. But there’s signs that clue you in. You have to understand their personality and the way they handle things to counteract their actions. You won’t be unscathed. But you can be prepared.
I know how that feels. My mom's side of the family doesn't accept us. It stung at times, but my dad's side made up for the love and they're the family I accept. I don't feel loss for people who don't love or accept me.
 
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bèlla

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I know how that feels. My mom's side of the family doesn't accept us. It stung at times, but my dad's side made up for the love and they're the family I accept. I don't feel loss for people who don't love or accept me.

That’s terrible. I’m glad you rebounded.
 
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Saucy

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That’s terrible. I’m glad you rebounded.
Thanks. I would prefer to have a relationship with a spouse's family, but if they were against me without a legitimate reason, then the problem is on them. If they have that much hate that they can't lower their pride and ignore their grandkids...we will make up for it
 
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DragonFox91

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I would wait a long time before telling them I'm in a relationship.
I don't talk about to them about this kind of stuff. I think my mom knows it upsets me & my dad occasionally says I s/ try dating sites or ask my friend's sister. (it's too hard for me to tell him neither have worked)
 
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