Intercourse just doesn't do it

[gary2468]

Are there any other couples who have abandoned intercourse because 1. the wife is only sensitive on the outside and 2. the husband does not feel much during intercourse because of his size?

We are looking toward oral and manual stimulation only. Can this sustain us? Why do I feel such an obligation to have to have intercourse even though it is not the most pleasureable act that can take place?

Thanks,
GARY

 

[water_ripple]

Are there any other couples who have abandoned intercourse because 1. the wife is only sensitive on the outside and 2. the husband does not feel much during intercourse because of his size?

We are looking toward oral and manual stimulation only. Can this sustain us? Why do I feel such an obligation to have to have intercourse even though it is not the most pleasureable act that can take place?

Thanks,
GARY

I think that many times people get hung up on how often they have sex. It seems like the physical act is only laid over what intercourse really means between a husband and wife...

The intamacy is what binds the sexual relationship together. It is a way of expressing the love without using words. I have noticed that whenever my relationship is going well we have very intamate intercourse. Things like longer foreplay..longer kisses..a message perhaps. It is a way of taking time to really show your husband or wife how much they mean to you. Also, women are almost completely mental creatures when it comes to sex. IOW we need to be totally prepared and relaxed for full enjoyment...

What it all entails for a man I really do not know the answer..but as human beings everybody knows that a loving touch or gesture that is carried out with love makes stress dissolve...If the both of you feel that intercourse is not very pleasurable the both of you (even if it is unspoken) will feel the strain. I would suggest to first work on the more intamate aspects of your sexual relationship. It will bring the both of you closer, and you may be able to find a situation that is pleausreable for the both of you to have intercourse.

I sincerly hope that my frankness has not offended you, but many times it seems as if even though couples are having sex they are not fufilled. Sex is so much more than just the physical relationship. It is a spiritual relationship with one's husband or wife as well..It is part of becoming one with your partner..here a couple can go and show with action the love one has for the other.

What is going to sustain the both of you is trust in the Lord, and how you show your wife that you love her. You can tell her, (and believe me it is wonderful to hear your husband say I love you) but showing her will speak louder. That of course means in and out of the bedroom...surely for a woman (at least in most cases) if she is shown the love her husband has for her outside of the bedroom..the bedroom will become a much more vibrant place. Also, do not expect that your sex life will always be awsome. It will go through some dry spells..hopefully they will not last too long, but that of course is up to the husbnad and wife. It takes two to be angry and resentful..It only takes one to be softer..and the other even if angry cannot resist loving words and actions.

 

[seebs]

Even if it's not the most pleasurable thing all the time, it's still a lot of fun. There's certainly a strong instinct there to do that; people who don't have intercourse tend not to have many kids.

Anyway, I wouldn't give it up entirely; as you note, it is sorta compelling. I wouldn't angst over it. Do what seems fun together, and don't worry.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Gary, there are practical things to do so that there is a better fit for intercourse, and her sensitivity can chage. I suggest you read up on a few things at

www.themarriagebed.com (stuff about PC muscles, and I would even email the people who made the site if you don't find what you are looking for)

Manual and oral stiumation is fine, but I wonder if that will last in the long run. I would make an effort to increase the pleasure in intercourse, time to get creative buddy.

 

[gary2468]

Thank you for your responses. My wife's PC muscles are very strong but I still cannot feel much. It is not tight at all. SHe said that no matter what goes inside her, it is just not pleasureable. External stimulation is what she finds pleasureable. themarriagebed.com is a great site by the way.

Also, Water_ripple, Thank you for your frank answer. It was very helpful.

 

[Svt4Him]

Whatever you do, as a couple, enjoy it, and if you want a water slide in your bedroom, then go for it. Between husband and wife, sex can be what you both feel comfortable doing.

 

[Blessed75]

Whatever you do, as a couple, enjoy it, and if you want a water slide in your bedroom, then go for it. Between husband and wife, sex can be what you both feel comfortable doing.

GREAT post!

 

[E-beth]

You are married, so you have God's blessing to find what works for you. I suggest ya find some new stuff to try that you both feel comfortable doing and if you find what works, do it as often as possible.

Seriously, a couple doesn't have to grow apart because they are not having sex in the conventional way. Sex in itself does help the relationship to be relaxed and it helps you to be more emotionally connected though.

Trust me...my husband has been out of work with a bad back for over a year. There are ways to get the flames a burnin' without being...uh...conventional.

 

[JMRE5150]

Whatever you do, as a couple, enjoy it, and if you want a water slide in your bedroom, then go for it. Between husband and wife, sex can be what you both feel comfortable doing.

Wow.

You just gave me an awesome idea...
Take some blessings for that!

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

Well, there's more than one way to skin it. You could always have your private part enlarged or widened. I am not trying to boast nor not boast but no problems here. I even wanted to make it bigger for the heck of it but she said no way. I just thought it would be cool. Hope I am not going out of bounds (no pun intended) on anyone, lol. We are being frank though. I don't see anything wrong with cosmetic surgery DONE RIGHT.

 

[I can eat 50 eggs]

have you tried some different positions? this can make a huge difference, in the amount of feeling you get, there are some that "tighten" everything up and also allow for you to manually stimulate her at the same time.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Hey, if both of you are happy with just oral sex and manuel stimulation, go for it. If intercourse is a pressured thing than it won't be enjoyable but an obligation. If you guys just relax and do what's enjoyable, then you might find that the penis will get bigger, the vagina will swell more (that's what happens when women truly get horny) and you might enjoy the intercourse more. Don't feel pressured, just relax and explore, and enjoy your sex life. That's my opinion and advice. God Bless