Insecurity

[Paige_something]

Hello everyone,
I realise that there is a self-esteem section of this forum as well, but some of this is to do with mental OCD so I thought I would post it on here…

I’ve been struggling with a combination of low-self esteem and mental OCD. I get unwanted images and thoughts that drain me (I have been focusing on them less recently though!)

Recently, however, I’ve been obsessed over whether I forgive others, and obsessing over that verse about how you must forgive others to be forgiven. Because I have quite low self-esteem, I can be quite sensitive to things that people say. I can easily jump to conclusions when other people say things, or feel like they are leaving me out. This makes me feel mad at people sometimes, and when I’m mad at people, I worry that I have lost my salvation. I don’t want to be mad at people, but I find recently that I need to talk to people more and more, when others have upset me.

In fact, whenever I have a worry, it always boils down to this one question – “Am I condemned?” I know that The Bible says there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus, but I always worry about it…

Does anyone have any advice or encouragement for me?

 

[Everlasting33]

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
~Carl Jung

 

[gracealone]

Hi Paige,
I find that my OCD can make me think or feel that someone doesn't like me. I can overreact to the slightest things. I can also go back over a conversation with someone to try and check if I might of said or done something to make myself, "unlikeable". I think that you focusing on whether or not you are mad at someone or not is being used by your OCD to lead you back into your basic OCD theme. "Am I still saved?" OCD has a nasty habit of taking literally anything that we do or think and using it to keep us obsessing on the theme. I don't know if I totally get what you were saying about having to talk to people more and more, but I'm thinking that you may be trying to prove to yourself by talking to them that you have actually forgiven them. If that's the case then that too, is a part of the compulsive side of the disorder. It's an effort to reassure yourself. The rotten thing about OCD is that the more we engage in any sort of reassuring or checking activity the more threatening or valid the doubt feels to us. Instead of feeling more reassured we feel more doubtful and much more anxious.
Understanding how the disorder operates helps us to notice when we are engaging in the compulsive side of the disorder. Treating OCD means learning to tolerate intense feelings of uncertainty. It means letting the question be there without attending to it. This is called exposure and response prevention therapy. For me this is the only thing that has actually helped me treat my OCD effectively.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

Hello everyone,
I realise that there is a self-esteem section of this forum as well, but some of this is to do with mental OCD so I thought I would post it on here…

I’ve been struggling with a combination of low-self esteem and mental OCD. I get unwanted images and thoughts that drain me (I have been focusing on them less recently though!)

Recently, however, I’ve been obsessed over whether I forgive others, and obsessing over that verse about how you must forgive others to be forgiven. Because I have quite low self-esteem, I can be quite sensitive to things that people say. I can easily jump to conclusions when other people say things, or feel like they are leaving me out. This makes me feel mad at people sometimes, and when I’m mad at people, I worry that I have lost my salvation. I don’t want to be mad at people, but I find recently that I need to talk to people more and more, when others have upset me.

In fact, whenever I have a worry, it always boils down to this one question – “Am I condemned?” I know that The Bible says there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus, but I always worry about it…

Does anyone have any advice or encouragement for me?