Innocence

[krstg]

So guys, I would call myself innocent, would you date me? I'm a perfect example of this thread!

Sounds like a "yes" for the most part... well, given that all other factors that lead to dating are fulfilled -- mutual interest, timing, etc..., etc..., etc... I think ya know what I mean.

 

[krstg]

(OK... it's just easier for me to post different thoughts is different posts in case anyone noticed. )

I'm scared of "innocent" girls. I just feel that they are too good for me to even talk to, let alone pursue something romantic with. I'm just so worried that I won't measure up, that I won't be good enough, which kind sucks because innocent girls are the ones I'm most attracted to.

I suppose I'm sort of "innocent" compared to the world's standards, as I've never done drugs and never drank, and never had sex (though I'm most certainly not naive, and I've got more than my fair share of sin and blasphemy, unfortunatly), but I still feel like I'm just not good enough for them.

I don't know what reasons you have that would make you worry that you won't measure up or be good enough for an innocent girl, but I say don't be afraid to talk to 'em. You might be selling yourself short here. Who knows, one day an innocent girl you're interested in might be thinking, "Why doesn't *MrDude* ever come and talk to me?!? "

It really depends on her intelligence and the rest of her character. Some experiences in life forge your character so that you can be more wise and caring.

Innocence is attractive to me because then the woman seems more approachable. I was fairly sheltered growing up (but not totally). It is really nice to talk with women like that - however, I would be concerned with corrupting her. Sometimes when she doesn't get some slang that most of us take for granted it can get a little awkward . At the same time there is general concern, as people prey on it. But innocence is a rare treasure these days - it will be lost, it depends who you lose it to. Someone who loves you and teaches you the easy way, or someone who takes advatage of you and hurts you in the process.

So you, on the other hand, think it's easier to approach the innocent type, BUT you are afraid to corrupt her. If that's the case, do you end up keeping your distance or maybe just watch what you do and say around her? ... It's funny that you mention the slang thing; that happened to me once or twice. Haha. I don't think slang would corrupt a girl unless it concerns not-so-innocent topics, though. Maybe I'm too innocent to know! Haha, again.

 

[Sketcher]

I'd watch what I say around her. And yes, I was talking about slang that refers to not-so-innocent topics.

 

[Fatolia]

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't sex, drugs, etc. topics that are relevant to us? Why do we have to hide them? It's a fact that 99% of Christian males touch on a regular basis. At least 80% of Christian females have experimented with masturbation by 16 (though it may not be a habit for all of them). Up to 16% of Christian males and 5-10% of Christian females are ADDICTED to pornography, no I'm not talking about the occassional curious glance, I'm talking about obsession with fetishes, hardcore, even homosexual (gay AND lesbian) smut. (which at one time included me) In high school, I was surrounded by gangs and drug use. It was an environment that outcast me not because I was a Christian but because I was a hard worker, didn't swear every third word, and treated women with respect. Just about every single girl I get to know tells me she gets either sexually harassed or assaulted on a REGULAR basis...it doesn't matter what she looks like.

If a girl NEVER talks about that kind of stuff, I'd think that she's hiding something. I don't expect a girl to be innocent. I hope she doesn't even THINK she's innocent. It's a mask! I'm not saying that she does all that stuff, but to pretend not to be exposed to it is a big fat lie. Instead of trying to hide the truth, why don't Christians instead acknowledge the existence of the problem and try to show that Jesus Christ is the light that will take away the darkness?

 

[Sketcher]

I see your point, but what about the Christian homeschooled girls that didn't grow up with any of that?

 

[Fatolia]

I see your point, but what about the Christian homeschooled girls that didn't grow up with any of that?

I once dated a sheltered Christian homeschooled, Christian high school, Christian college girl. She said that at her job at Wal-Mart she was SEXUALLY hit on all the time.

 

[Niels]

I don't expect a girl to be innocent. I hope she doesn't even THINK she's innocent. It's a mask! I'm not saying that she does all that stuff, but to pretend not to be exposed to it is a big fat lie. Instead of trying to hide the truth, why don't Christians instead acknowledge the existence of the problem and try to show that Jesus Christ is the light that will take away the darkness?

Well yeah, if she's pretending to be something she's not, then she's not very innocent. But not everybody who appears innocent is wearing a mask.

As far as the second half of what you say here, that is a powerful testimony, and can certainly be used for the glory of God.

 

[MrDude]

Who knows, one day an innocent girl you're interested in might be thinking, "Why doesn't *MrDude* ever come and talk to me?!? " [/color][/font]

:ROFL: oh man thanks for the laugh

 

[Jon_]

It's a fact that 99% of Christian males touch on a regular basis. At least 80% of Christian females have experimented with masturbation by 16 (though it may not be a habit for all of them). Up to 16% of Christian males and 5-10% of Christian females are ADDICTED to pornography, no I'm not talking about the occassional curious glance, I'm talking about obsession with fetishes, hardcore, even homosexual (gay AND lesbian) smut.

Not saying you're wrong, but I'd really like to know where you got this data.

 

[lunalinda]

Besides, just imagine the fun if you take her home on your wedding night, sweep her off her feet to the bedroom... and she says, "Wait a minute, you want to do WHAT?!!"

LOL...that's kinda like how I am now. *cringes* But not TOTALLY, since I can already sense that once the newness of it all sinks in, I'd be what the secular world calls, "freaky." But hey, on the marriage bed there's no guilt. I'll finally be able to let loose. Marriage'll indeed be fun lol, but...well...not right away.

 

[lunalinda]

krstg's definition of INNOCENCE (or INNOCENT):

* not having experience in any of the following: sex, drugs, excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages, partying (which incudes any or all of the preceding things)
* does not pursue activities or conversations that include the above topics. When there is a converation, she will say something like "I'm not into that", "I stay away from those things", "Oh, I haven't been exposed to all of that" or "Yikes! You better be careful".
* has not had a boyfriend; had not dated (or dated very much)

Do you all pretty much agree or disagree with my idea of innocence? If not, how do you define innocence? Furthermore, would you like innocence, be it your definition or my definition, in a girlfriend?

I know this is geared towards the fellows, but the gals are free to keep adding their comments.

Well, by your definition, I'd say I'm MOSTLY innocent. I've never done drugs, never drank excessively or even a little bit (other than the one shot of some fruity stuff that apparently had some alcohol in it and a couple of sips of wine, all of which were BLECH!), never partied, never had sex, never fondled or have been fondled (aka, "dry sex"). Farthest I went with guys involved only lips to lips. And if those conversations go on, I'd share my opinions about 'em if it was fitting to do so. Otherwise, I'd just nod and smile since I really don't have much to say. But I have dated and have had 2 bf's (well, that's what they're labelled anyway, though nowadays I don't even think they should have ever been considered as such), both of which I have kissed many times.

My own definition of "innocence" expands on that, though. It'd have to be a person who doesn't ever see or hear or knows of those situations going on around them. Pure innocence is pretty much what a baby's got I think. Growing up in THIS world, however, that can be so easily lost from us. I'm not innocent of a lot of those things. I've been exposed to bad stuff in movies or TV, bad conversations, bad feelings, etc etc. I've been sexually harrassed before and have been spoken to like I'm a girl that'd be fond of a man who can speak to me with subtle sexual tones. So in that way, I'm not at all innocent, and am very guilty of inadvertently taking part in the world. I guess you can say, I'm innocent of being a willing participant to much of those things, but am guilty of not being able to avoid being around them.

 

[JPPT1974]

I have a friend from my sunday school and she says that she was hit and molested upon while working at Dollywood as she thought this friend was a "Christian" but really not just that he really molested her but others as well.

 

[Niels]

Random thought:

I think innocence is also important in another way. The fact that there are women out there who we might call 'innocent', has had a big impact on my life. I've never wanted to subject myself to a double standard, and as a result, have remained fairly innocent as well (no further than kissing on the mouth, no sex, not doing the bar scene etc.). This has nothing to do with lacking desire or such (believe me, it's there)... but rather a matter of being able to reciprocate the sentiment, seeking God's wisdom, and hoping to have a less complicated, more fulfilling, time when it comes to getting married, raising a family etc. I would hate to disappoint a woman in this regard, and that probably has something to do with her 'innocence.' On the other side of the coin, if she wasn't particularly innocent, I doubt she'd understand me very well, nor appreciate the difficult decisions I've had to make.