Information dumps

[Vulgivagus hagiographus]

Yes, this is about those nasssty information dumps. Yuck. For those of you that don’t know the “technical” term, it’s when you throw down a bunch of description all in a big chunk. It can kill good writing.

Well, I’m working with a particular piece that information dumps is giving me a really hard time. It’s first person about somebody from earth, modern times, that gets abducted by aliens and taken off on sci-fi adventures and whatnot. (Yeah, it’s that cool. ) With that in mind, I’ve got tons of completely foreign scenes to my viewpoint character. Practically every thing she runs into becomes a disastrous information dump. Does anyone have any clever suggestions? I’m completely stumped on this. This is my first time trying to do something larger in first person, so I’m coming up with lots of unexpected joys and challenges.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Here's how I solve this problem:

First of all, subtlety is the single most powerful weapon in your arsenal. It's almost a paradox; you wouldn't expect subtleties to be powerful, because, well, they are subtle, but they are. Truly, this reveals more about your character than anything.

For example, which is more powerful to you?

1. Sandra was mad (but in a quiet way), disillusioned, and was wondering about what she should do with her problems over which guy was right for her, and her mother's insitence on her marrying a guy she didn't love.

Or,

2. Sandra rested quietly on the beach, one arm flopped across her forehead to block out the sun. Her other hand grabbed gentle handfuls of wet sand and pushed the cool, wet clods through loose fingers.

Children played in the background, but today she didn't bother to look up. She blinked her eyes in irritation as she tried to drown out the noise.

She raised a lazy arm to look at her watch. 11:00. When she could afford to spend no more time with her thoughts, she rose, made a token attempt to brush the sand from the back of her dampened jumper, and ambled home to call her mother.

The charade had gone on long enough. Jack wasn't right for her.

The second version says a lot less about Sandra's situation, but through her mannerisms, it reveals her mood, and avoids the info dump in another important way, too: it raises more questions in the reader's mind about why she feels the way she does. Who is Jack? What does her mother have to do with this? And then you have the rest of the story to answer the questions while raising new ones. Each chapter should raise a new question. Subplots and dialogue can reveal the information, too. Use as few descriptors as you can; instead, let the character's mannerisms, the environment, and even silence reveal what you want to say.

Blessings to you!

 

[christian cutie danni]

Erm... that's right, another suggestion is to put yourself in your Characters shoes, and imagine how you would feel if you were your character. Then you write about her feelings, according to that.

 

[Vulgivagus hagiographus]

Thanks, Whitehorse. That's actually how I would normally handle the situation. Describing through action is the best way to go about it in my opinion! Unfortuately, my problem is that my character is in a completely foreign inviornment and it's first person. Also, with it being sci-fi, it's completely foreign to the reader as well.

For example, I have this flying saucer's command center. It's this crazy setup of screens and panels and all sorts of completely weird things. The viewpoint character walks in and is like, "Wow! This is crazy!" and then comes the information dump. I can see this happening almost constantly throught the entire story since I've got so many imaginative sets. It's a very visual story, which is kind of hard when all you've got to show them the story with is black and white in the form of words.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Oh, I see-since the character's world is so strange, it requires description, but you don't want it to dominate the story. Okay-there are several ways you can deal with this. The best way: avoid passive voice like the plague. Am, is, are, was were...that sort of thing. If you force yourself not to use passive verbs, you only have one choice left: spread the descriptions through actions. And dialogue, too.

Here's an example of action: Instead of saying the room was filled with monitors (we're avoiding that ugly was word), you can say, "Walls of monitors illuminated her face." You can further distract from the fact that you are informing the reader by using the environment to foreshadow. Let's say you have a character who you won't be using past the next chapter. Have the monitor glow in that character's face, but make the light blue. Better yet, clammy blue. While we don't normally associate textures or surfaces with color, this will make it clear you're foreshadowing something.

Or, if you want your main character to be in a scary situation, put the walls of monitors in tall, steel pillars.

So to avoid the information dump, we have action, and we have a way of working the environment into the plot by foreshadowing or setting a tone.

The next way is through dialogue. Traditionally, arguments are the medium for revealing the information through dialogue, because there is enough tension there to distract the reader from the fact that they are being informed; it makes you less visible.

Here's an example:
"I told you not to move!" Seth breathed through gritted teeth. "We could have been killed!"
"Yeah, but someone had to take charge!"
"Take charge? You call that taking charge? We were almost killed! Look, there's only one leader in this away duty, and last time I checked, it was me!"
"Well how was I supposed to know those cyborgs were equipped with plasma radiation technology!"
"Did you even know they were cyborgs? I told you not to move!"
"Yeah, I knew." Dirk flipped the face shield of his hood down, covering his ashen cheeks.

Here we learn about a futuristic warrior, without your simply having to say they are there. We learn about some fictional technology I just made up on the spot (Hollywood has consulted NASA to ask them what may be going on in science right now that could make a certain technolgy possible) and it distinguishes two kinds of cyborgs. (You can develop how they are used differently later.) And, we learn that these cyborgs are very hard to tell from traditional warriors. We also get a taste of what the space uniforms look like. Plus, there are all kinds of potential plot and subplot goodies in revealing your information this way.