I was always sort of curious about what the truth was. Curious enough that when I was about 16 or 17 I bought a Bible to read. I read it periodically over the next 5 or 6 years. Then I started comparing what I had learned growing up with what I had been reading and was seeing some things that weren't lining up. My brother was always talking about what the Bible said about this, and what the bible said about that. It was clear that the Church he was attending was teaching based soley on what the Bible said. Thank the Lord for the persistance of my brother. He was unafraid to share what he believes, he didn't see me as hopeless, he has a heart for the soul of a person. His persistance triggered a deeper curiosity and I made a decision to attend a service at the Hilltop Tabernacle with my brother. This is where I learned the truth that salvation is by the way of the Cross not the doctrine of man. Saved by grace. I decided that I wanted and needed a closer relationship with the Lord. This is when I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get through this life without Him.
When I was 17 I went to the Doctor because my throat was bothering me and there was a lump growing out of my neck. That turned out to be nothing more than something associated with tonsilitis. What he found next we weren't expecting. After having an ultrasound his thoughts were confirmed. They found two large masses growing from my ovaries. I underwent a week of testing and had surgery to remove them in April 1993. During the surgery they had to remove my right ovary completely, and then they had to remove a portion of the left ovary. I recovered well and was trying to stay positive because the doctors said I could possibly have children because of the partial ovary they left in there but there was no guarantees.
My husband and I got married in October 1997. One year later I got really sick. I couldn't imagine what was causing it. I am not talking morning sickness here. I am talking excrutiating pain, dizziness, and nausea. My temperature kept fluctuating and I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it. I went to emergency at the hospital and had some tests done and went home. My Doctor phoned later saying he wanted me back there right away, that I was pregnant, but that they thought it was ectopic (implanted in the tube). Further tests revealed this to be true. I had surgery the following morning and in the surgeons report he didn't leave me much hope. He said it was a mess in there, the tube was attached to the uterus, the ovary attatched to the back of the tube. If my Doctor had not been present in the room, this surgeon was going to sterilize me by tying my only tube. My Doctor argued with him about this until he agreed not to. The good Lord had other plans for me.
In March 1999 we were referred to a fertility specialist in Ottawa. We underwent some routine testing and the Doctor came to conclusion that in-vitro fertilization would be the best bet for us considering we were young and healthy. So, in June 1999 we started. I had to travel to Ottawa every second day and 6 in the morning to undergo bloodwork so they could call me in the afternonn and tell me what size of injection to give myself. This went on until the end of August. After the procedure was done we had the dreaded two week wait to see if the whole thing worked. Exactly two weeks and one day later, we knew it didn't. We were so shocked and devestated. We had so many questions. How could this not work? All that money for nothing. I remember picking up enough medication for two days and the bill was $800.00. We spent over $5000.00 and still had no baby. All for nothing, or so we thought then.
Then in November 1999 I called a different doctor and asked if he would do one last look and see surgery for me. I wanted him to look inside, see if there was anything he could repair, I wasn't willing to try the fertility treatments again. So here we went again. I remember waking up in the recovery hearing that I may have a chance of having a child. I thought, well that is nothing new to me, they have been saying that all along. He called me the next day so he could talk to me while I was more coherent. He told me that there sure is a large amount of scar tissue in there, he actually had a very difficult time getting in there and highly recommended I never have abdominal sugery again for anything. There were bands of scar tissue on my only tube, which he tried to free up best he could. The tube had suffered some irreversible damage that could not be repaired even with microsurgery. And finally, he tried his best but the ovary was still folded backwards and attached to the back of the fallopian tube. He couldn't free that up without causing more damage. I recovered and we went on with life.
In May of 2000 we were attending a service one Sunday morning. At the end of the service the worship leader was saying that if anyone needed prayer to come on up to the front. We were just standing at the back when suddenly he says, "I don't know who but I just feel it, the Spirit is telling me someone here today wants a child. Someone does, just come forward." I just put my head down. We were so new to this. We just froze and didn't know what to think. He repeated it again and again and again. My heart just started racing. Burt had absolutley no idea about our history, none whatsoever. This was the first time I ever witnessed the Spirit work in someone. Who else could he be talking about? The way he was saying, I mean you could hear the desperation in his voice, he knew what he was hearing was from God. I couldn't deny it and I knew my husband was feeling the same way because I could feel him staring at me. My brother and his wife were standing behind us and they knew our history. Resisting this was just draining me. I never felt such relief as I did the moment my sister in law put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me closer and said, "Wanna go up?".
I couldn't contain myself anymore. I just started crying and nodded. So up we went, the four of us. We were joined by my brother in laws who had a similar history and were blessed with a miracle baby. He just kept saying, "Never think it can't happen." Others were saying, "Just believe."
Many people prayed with us and for us that day and I really can't put into words everything I felt that day, but I will never forget it as long as I live. We found a new peace that day. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted from us. We handed it to God that day and quit worrying about it.
In June of 2001 I was sitting at work and got a funny kinda feeling. A thought entered my head and I took out my calendar. I decided to buy a pregnancy test. So, Saturday morning I was laying in bed for the longest time. I was just praying. Please God let this be it. God of all the times I thought I was pregnant before I have never felt this way before. So I ran and took the test. I was just circling the room when it started to feel like forever. So I went to the test and my jaw dropped. Clearly there on the test was a big PLUS sign. Plus? Plus? Plus?....that means something positive. I then told my husband and his reaction was much the same as mine, complete amazment. There were so many tears of joy that day. That was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I went for an ultrasound the following week to confirm that the pregancy was in the right spot and there it was, a visible hearbeat and all! This was the first time I actually saw our miracle. On the screen if front of me was our gift from God. God was entrusting one of His creations to us. I have never felt such joy. I had the most wonderful pregnancy. Every day that I felt our baby move I was more and more happy, and more and more grateful. I was changing my views about the past and was getting pretty glad that science didn't do anything for us. God did, and that meant so much more to us. Everything had happened according to God's will, for His reason and in His season. There was such comfort in realizing that God knew. He knew us, what we were going through, the ending and the purpose behind it all. This is something my husband and I have learned. There could have been many different scenerios. If science had worked for us, would we have appreciated our child as the miracle she is? Would we have been drawn closer or sought out God as much? I wouldn't say this at the time we were going through all that but now I can say that I wouldn't change anything that has happened to us even if I could.
Our wonderful little girl, Grace, was born on March 3, 2002! Her name was chosen because it means gift from God, and that is what she is. One day I was looking at Grace when I was suddenly flooded with the enormity of the miracle she is. Why would God be so good to me when I hadn't been so good to Him? He has done so much for us. I truly look at what happened on the Cross on Good Friday in a whole new perspective since becoming a parent. I look at my daughter and think, wow, if someone ever asked me to sacrifice her to save someone else, I know I never could. I would do everything within my power to protect her. Having a child makes me think about how strong God had to be that day. How much pain He went through watching what was happening to His Son, all the while knowing that He could stop it if He wanted too. He didn't. How selfless God was that day when He sacrificed His only Son for people like you and me. It has made me appreciate what He did in a whole new way.
God Bless
When I was 17 I went to the Doctor because my throat was bothering me and there was a lump growing out of my neck. That turned out to be nothing more than something associated with tonsilitis. What he found next we weren't expecting. After having an ultrasound his thoughts were confirmed. They found two large masses growing from my ovaries. I underwent a week of testing and had surgery to remove them in April 1993. During the surgery they had to remove my right ovary completely, and then they had to remove a portion of the left ovary. I recovered well and was trying to stay positive because the doctors said I could possibly have children because of the partial ovary they left in there but there was no guarantees.
My husband and I got married in October 1997. One year later I got really sick. I couldn't imagine what was causing it. I am not talking morning sickness here. I am talking excrutiating pain, dizziness, and nausea. My temperature kept fluctuating and I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it. I went to emergency at the hospital and had some tests done and went home. My Doctor phoned later saying he wanted me back there right away, that I was pregnant, but that they thought it was ectopic (implanted in the tube). Further tests revealed this to be true. I had surgery the following morning and in the surgeons report he didn't leave me much hope. He said it was a mess in there, the tube was attached to the uterus, the ovary attatched to the back of the tube. If my Doctor had not been present in the room, this surgeon was going to sterilize me by tying my only tube. My Doctor argued with him about this until he agreed not to. The good Lord had other plans for me.
In March 1999 we were referred to a fertility specialist in Ottawa. We underwent some routine testing and the Doctor came to conclusion that in-vitro fertilization would be the best bet for us considering we were young and healthy. So, in June 1999 we started. I had to travel to Ottawa every second day and 6 in the morning to undergo bloodwork so they could call me in the afternonn and tell me what size of injection to give myself. This went on until the end of August. After the procedure was done we had the dreaded two week wait to see if the whole thing worked. Exactly two weeks and one day later, we knew it didn't. We were so shocked and devestated. We had so many questions. How could this not work? All that money for nothing. I remember picking up enough medication for two days and the bill was $800.00. We spent over $5000.00 and still had no baby. All for nothing, or so we thought then.
Then in November 1999 I called a different doctor and asked if he would do one last look and see surgery for me. I wanted him to look inside, see if there was anything he could repair, I wasn't willing to try the fertility treatments again. So here we went again. I remember waking up in the recovery hearing that I may have a chance of having a child. I thought, well that is nothing new to me, they have been saying that all along. He called me the next day so he could talk to me while I was more coherent. He told me that there sure is a large amount of scar tissue in there, he actually had a very difficult time getting in there and highly recommended I never have abdominal sugery again for anything. There were bands of scar tissue on my only tube, which he tried to free up best he could. The tube had suffered some irreversible damage that could not be repaired even with microsurgery. And finally, he tried his best but the ovary was still folded backwards and attached to the back of the fallopian tube. He couldn't free that up without causing more damage. I recovered and we went on with life.
In May of 2000 we were attending a service one Sunday morning. At the end of the service the worship leader was saying that if anyone needed prayer to come on up to the front. We were just standing at the back when suddenly he says, "I don't know who but I just feel it, the Spirit is telling me someone here today wants a child. Someone does, just come forward." I just put my head down. We were so new to this. We just froze and didn't know what to think. He repeated it again and again and again. My heart just started racing. Burt had absolutley no idea about our history, none whatsoever. This was the first time I ever witnessed the Spirit work in someone. Who else could he be talking about? The way he was saying, I mean you could hear the desperation in his voice, he knew what he was hearing was from God. I couldn't deny it and I knew my husband was feeling the same way because I could feel him staring at me. My brother and his wife were standing behind us and they knew our history. Resisting this was just draining me. I never felt such relief as I did the moment my sister in law put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me closer and said, "Wanna go up?".
I couldn't contain myself anymore. I just started crying and nodded. So up we went, the four of us. We were joined by my brother in laws who had a similar history and were blessed with a miracle baby. He just kept saying, "Never think it can't happen." Others were saying, "Just believe."
Many people prayed with us and for us that day and I really can't put into words everything I felt that day, but I will never forget it as long as I live. We found a new peace that day. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted from us. We handed it to God that day and quit worrying about it.
In June of 2001 I was sitting at work and got a funny kinda feeling. A thought entered my head and I took out my calendar. I decided to buy a pregnancy test. So, Saturday morning I was laying in bed for the longest time. I was just praying. Please God let this be it. God of all the times I thought I was pregnant before I have never felt this way before. So I ran and took the test. I was just circling the room when it started to feel like forever. So I went to the test and my jaw dropped. Clearly there on the test was a big PLUS sign. Plus? Plus? Plus?....that means something positive. I then told my husband and his reaction was much the same as mine, complete amazment. There were so many tears of joy that day. That was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I went for an ultrasound the following week to confirm that the pregancy was in the right spot and there it was, a visible hearbeat and all! This was the first time I actually saw our miracle. On the screen if front of me was our gift from God. God was entrusting one of His creations to us. I have never felt such joy. I had the most wonderful pregnancy. Every day that I felt our baby move I was more and more happy, and more and more grateful. I was changing my views about the past and was getting pretty glad that science didn't do anything for us. God did, and that meant so much more to us. Everything had happened according to God's will, for His reason and in His season. There was such comfort in realizing that God knew. He knew us, what we were going through, the ending and the purpose behind it all. This is something my husband and I have learned. There could have been many different scenerios. If science had worked for us, would we have appreciated our child as the miracle she is? Would we have been drawn closer or sought out God as much? I wouldn't say this at the time we were going through all that but now I can say that I wouldn't change anything that has happened to us even if I could.
Our wonderful little girl, Grace, was born on March 3, 2002! Her name was chosen because it means gift from God, and that is what she is. One day I was looking at Grace when I was suddenly flooded with the enormity of the miracle she is. Why would God be so good to me when I hadn't been so good to Him? He has done so much for us. I truly look at what happened on the Cross on Good Friday in a whole new perspective since becoming a parent. I look at my daughter and think, wow, if someone ever asked me to sacrifice her to save someone else, I know I never could. I would do everything within my power to protect her. Having a child makes me think about how strong God had to be that day. How much pain He went through watching what was happening to His Son, all the while knowing that He could stop it if He wanted too. He didn't. How selfless God was that day when He sacrificed His only Son for people like you and me. It has made me appreciate what He did in a whole new way.
God Bless
