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Infertility struggle

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Kirsty Williams, Dec 26, 2018.

  1. Kirsty Williams

    Kirsty Williams AngelMon

    2
    +5
    United Kingdom
    Baptist
    Married
    Hey,
    So I'm 35 and happily married to my husband for 7years. We've been togethers for 9yrs but known each other since college and were best friends. I have a son via a previous marriage but we've been trying for children for 5years and this year found out that we have 0 sperm count. I say we because we are in this together, what affects one affects the other. Its been really tough l, my hubby is seeing a councillor because he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I've been made redundant in April 2018 and we bought a house to renovate in December 2017.
    It feels like everything is against us and I try and hope that Gods glory will shine through this but after 10 interviews, an infertile diagnosis and our savings gone I'm pretty low.
    This christmas has been pretty difficult as we were planning on a little one around the christmas tree and all the joy that goes with that.

    I was just wondering how you cope with this? I am trying to access counselling but as I'm not employed it's very difficult unless you pay which we can't afford.
    We've spoken about sperm donation but the Arahm and Serai story is prominent in my mind.

    Hurting but trying yo be brave
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Tigger45

    Tigger45 Lutherans for our Lady Supporter

    +6,350
    United States
    Lutheran
    Married
    US-Constitution
    God’s blessings!
     
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  3. JazzHands

    JazzHands Active Member Supporter

    333
    +307
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Hi Kirsty, thanks for sharing!

    I hope you found some levity over Christmas despite the setbacks. I feel for you both but I wouldn't let it become a source of demoralisation.

    I think it's touching that you support your husband and refer to his issue in the possessive plural, 'our' as any loving wife might but I might suggest that irrespective of his personal challenge, he already has a dependent in your son and if, God willing, he has another by you, that would indeed be a blessing but not a necessity.

    I also wonder sometimes if depression doesn't also contribute to infertility, directly. I realise you're probably conscious of biological clock ticking away but perhaps he needs to focus his attention away from his apparent preoccupation for a little while and start focusing on the positive aspects of his life - his loving wife, his adopted son, his home and his personality.

    Is your husband working? I can understand the pressure of financial worries and that surely isn't helping the situation but try to stay optimistic, it certainly works for me! :)

    God bless you both!
     
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  4. All4Christ

    All4Christ ✙ The Handmaid of God Laura ✙ Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

    +5,662
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    :hug: As someone who is struggling with similar issues, I can empathize with you on this. Prayers for you!

    All we can do is take it day by day and be thankful for what we do have. In our case, it’s just the two of us, as I haven’t had any children. I know it hurts, really bad sometimes. God is still there though, and provides so much for us, even when we do experience infertility.

    Trust God and be thankful despite what’s going on. It’s tough, but it helps.
     
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  5. mnorian

    mnorian Oldbie--Eternal Optimist Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

    +6,433
    Christian
    Married
    Mod hat on
    [​IMG]
    thread was moved from
    Introduce Yourself
    to
    Christian Advice
    for a better fit and responses.
    Carry on.
     
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  6. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

    +8,840
    United States
    Baptist
    Celibate
    Praying for your precious family little Sister and remember,
    Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
     
  7. Kirsty Williams

    Kirsty Williams AngelMon

    2
    +5
    United Kingdom
    Baptist
    Married
    Hi Jazzhands,
    Thank you so much. He does work but has been signed off sick due to stress. His councillor says he's on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
    He and our son are amazing friends and have a strong bond, he took him on as his own and would do anything for him.
    We've both been focusing on our home we bought a year ago to renovate and raise a family in. So DIY is a huge topic at the moment, he has done so much but I do worry that he's not giving himself time to heal.
    Tbh I think it's everything compounded that I am struggling with, infertility, finances, lack of employment. I did go for a walk the other day and have a rant to our Father , in which he replied remember the lilies, I will look after you. It's so hard to place this in my heart when everything we've worked for seems to be falling down around us.
     
  8. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Well-Known Member

    526
    +563
    Christian
    Married
    Hi Kirsty. My son and his wife are going thru infertility as well. Its really hard for them as her younger sister has 2 children. It has caused stress in their marriage and weve been praying from them and trying to help them navigate thru this. I pray God helps you stay strong and support your husband through this. God bless you.
     
  9. Willing-heart

    Willing-heart In Christ Alone. Supporter

    310
    +335
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
    What did Hannah want out of all the world? She wanted one thing, a son. If you went to Hannah at that time and said to her, I’ll give you the whole world, she will say no, I’d rather have a son. That’s all she wanted. And when God gave her a son, she gave him back to God. Isn’t that incredible? Ask yourself, the question, what is it that I’m asking the Lord? what am I asking Him for? Identify it, write it down if you must. Then ask yourself this question next, if the Lord answers my prayer and gives me the desire of my heart, that which I am asking him for, will I be willing to give it back to the Lord? More than anything else, you will begin to understand your motive in prayer very quickly.

    Hannah gave back to the Lord her one and only child, she did not wait until he became a man, she took her boy Samuel at the age of 5 and placed him in the service of the Lord. What a gift she gave the Lord, and the world for that matter. Samuel grew up to be a man after God’s own heart, a man who turned the nation, the nation that was living in chaos and confusion, he turned the nation back to God. He became the first prophet, priest, and judge all at once.

    If the story ends here it would have been absolutely the most incredible story, but the story does not end here, because later on, God gives Hannah six children. I’m convinced the reason for this blessing was simply because she kept her promise and refused to give only that which cost her little to nothing. Hannah made a costly commitment to the Lord, and here in 1 Sam. 2, we see her keeping her vow to the Lord.

    Rock of Ages.

    Have you ever wonder why God does not answer your prayer straight away the moment you ask Him? Perhaps God wants you to exhaust your resources, God wants you to come to the end of your rope so that when he answers prayer, it will be done in such a way that you will have no doubt about it except to say, “God did it!”

    Fall Upon Your Knees…
     
  10. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +4,362
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    Assuming your marriage is on the up-and-up per what Jesus taught in Matthew 19, I have to ask:

    What advantage is there to sperm donation over adopting a baby? Either way, it's not his sperm. If you adopt a baby, you are solving a problem for said baby, while at the same time welcoming another young one into your home to raise together.
     
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