Inferiority Complex

[2slippers]

I know that some people have self-esteem issues but do you think you have an inferiority complex (i.e. you place less importance/value on yourself often resulting either in timidity or through overcompensation in exaggerated aggressiveness)? Or are they one and the same?

Someone told me that they think I have an inferiority complex but I couldn't admit it then but I know I do. I'd drop everything I'm doing to do something else for someone, and even when I find out that they are just using me I have a hard time saying no to them anyway.

 

[Everlasting33]

I know that some people have self-esteem issues but do you think you have an inferiority complex (i.e. you place less importance/value on yourself often resulting either in timidity or through overcompensation in exaggerated aggressiveness)? Or are they one and the same?

Someone told me that they think I have an inferiority complex but I couldn't admit it then but I know I do. I'd drop everything I'm doing to do something else for someone, and even when I find out that they are just using me I have a hard time saying no to them anyway.

Hello

I am assuming that your behavior (giving into people using you) is causing you pain or discomfort. The question is, why do you think that you put others before yourself to the point of losing your self-respect?

More often that not people who struggle with what you are describing have a deep desire for love and approval, and this is certainly evident in their martyr-like behavior.

Raising one's self-esteem can certainly diminish passive behavior and it would help to know WHY you are currently in this behavior.

I hope this makes sense! Take care

 

[2slippers]

Hi,
It does cause me pain when this happens, I feel like 'when is someone going to be this kind to me or inconvenience themselves so that I can get what I want?'. You are absolutely right that I have a deep desire for love and approval and that's because when I was younger I never got the attention that I needed. Also, I was kinda talkative and a trouble maker and I thought that caused me to be abused (my punishment for being a trouble maker). Since then I became the total opposite and I guess I did whatever ppl wanted to show that I'm not that trouble maker anymore. I don't know how to get out of it. I wanted to know if the inferiority complex is in a class of itself or just an extreme form of low self-esteem?

 

[Everlasting33]

Hi,
It does cause me pain when this happens, I feel like 'when is someone going to be this kind to me or inconvenience themselves so that I can get what I want?'. You are absolutely right that I have a deep desire for love and approval and that's because when I was younger I never got the attention that I needed. Also, I was kinda talkative and a trouble maker and I thought that caused me to be abused (my punishment for being a trouble maker). Since then I became the total opposite and I guess I did whatever ppl wanted to show that I'm not that trouble maker anymore. I don't know how to get out of it. I wanted to know if the inferiority complex is in a class of itself or just an extreme form of low self-esteem?

As you can see, our past can certainly impact and influence the present and most definitely the future. I am sorry to hear that you did not get the proper parental involvement that you felt was necessary.

In my opinion, inferiority complex is really an extension of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can show itself in many ways: inferiority/superiority complex, passive and aggressive behavior, depression, eating disorders, inadequacy, anxiety, and possibly many behavioral problems.

Our self-esteem is formed and rooted in our childhood and it is very easy for parents to underestimate how important their love, acceptance, discipline, and empathy is to their children.

I would recommend reading up on self-esteem. One of my favorite books, "The power of self-coaching" by Joseph Luciani talks about insecurity being the root of low self-esteem and how insecurity can bring about many negative emotions and thoughts.

It is very difficult to overcome one's past traumas. I am living proof of this. But I truly believe that we are able and capable...we just have to believe and that is something most people with self-esteem do not have.

I would highly recommend that you seek out therapy for your self-esteem issues. I have been in therapy for 7 months now and I am slowly becoming more confident and secure.

With persistence, anything is possible!!!

Take care!