Inappropriate MP3?

[Starcradle]

This seems apparent to me and yet I have received comments to the contrary.

A dear male friend who has, for the most part, treated me as would a perfect gentleman, recently sent me a sound file entitled "Groin." It featured Roger Moore as James Bond reciting the movie line, "I am now aiming at your groin; speak now or forever hold your piece." (A play on words, obviously.)

I felt uncomfortable yet did not immediately voice my concerns until after I had asked God what I was to do in this situation. When the conviction in my heart would not release its grip upon me, I elected to inform him, as lovingly and reassuringly as possible and with a great deal of grief, my sentiments. I feared that God had been dishonored and I also feared that injecting such elements into our conversations would set a certain tone in the friendship that would subsequently prove spiritually detrimental. I felt as well that it was disrespectful to me as a lady.

Although he apologized, he stated he was unashamed by what he sent and felt it was not at all dishonoring to the Lord. He said he was taken aback by my reaction and made a few other statements that I believed were harsh and somewhat exaggerated.

I have already drawn my own conclusions, yet I am curious what others (most especially the male members of this forum) think of the matter. Was this MP3 inappropriate or did I "overreact?"

 

[joeman1]

I think you acted approprieatly in the situation I believe that you responded directly to show him that you were offended by his actions. I would much rather a woman be honest with me when I have offened them that way I would know not to act that way around them. Personally I would never send a woman that. I don't even know if I would send something like that to my wife even in a jokeing manner.

 

[the_man]

I think I would need to listen to the MP3 in order to make a fair assessment.

 

[caitlincares]

I think you acted approprieatly in the situation I believe that you responded directly to show him that you were offended by his actions. I would much rather a woman be honest with me when I have offened them that way I would know not to act that way around them. Personally I would never send a woman that. I don't even know if I would send something like that to my wife even in a jokeing manner.

Agreed

 

[Matt.9:22]

ummm...well the context or unspoken insinuations reflected in the voice could have been at play, but from what you typed I was not offended. But then again, different people are offended by different things and I believe that you have the right to let people know when things offend you. So no it wasn't an over-reaction

 

[Sketcher]

You reacted appropriately. Of course as a guy, I wouldn't be offended by that. But you're not a guy, and he probably doesn't see why you would be. But since I would find the clip offensive if it mentioned female plumbing instead of male, I can see why you wouldn't like it so much.

 

[TriptychR]

Yeah. We guys can joke like that pretty innocently, but I have no idea why any guy would want to send that to a girl. You have no reason to be ashamed of being offended by that.

 

[AveMaria]

Wow, I've seen that clip I don't know how many times, and never picked up on the double entendre of piece/peace. Is it possible that perhaps he didn't realize it, either?

 

[JPPT1974]

I think you acted approprieatly in the situation I believe that you responded directly to show him that you were offended by his actions. I would much rather a woman be honest with me when I have offened them that way I would know not to act that way around them. Personally I would never send a woman that. I don't even know if I would send something like that to my wife even in a jokeing manner.

I think you did too as I applaud you over that and that you reacted like the Lord would and that you did the right thing. You should be commended!!

 

[wanderingstar]

I think you acted approprieatly in the situation I believe that you responded directly to show him that you were offended by his actions. I would much rather a woman be honest with me when I have offened them that way I would know not to act that way around them. Personally I would never send a woman that. I don't even know if I would send something like that to my wife even in a jokeing manner.

um.....you two must have a real intimate relationship......

 

[beetlequeendiva]

From what you've said I think you acted appropriately - if you felt it was disrepectful and not pleasing to God then you were justified in saying so - i agree with you on your points - i would have been really unhappy if somebody did that to me!!!

 

[justasinner]

You acted correctly, but if it was me I would not have waited to for God's answer. Your heart should be answer enough. And I would have been offended too. Unless the person was a long term friend or family (10 plus years) and knew exactly what my reaction would be they should not send me that type of .mp3.

The problem is that some people do not understand that what they do may affect people differently. When we wish to act we need to understand how our action will affect that person. And only continue to act when and if we know the person will not be offended by our actions. Of course, there is one exception that is when we warn a person that person give us the right to act.

 

[Starcradle]

Thank you to all who have thus far responded.

Wow, I've seen that clip I don't know how many times, and never picked up on the double entendre of piece/peace. Is it possible that perhaps he didn't realize it, either?

He was fully aware of the double entendre.

I think you did too as I applaud you over that and that you reacted like the Lord would and that you did the right thing. You should be commended!!

Thank you, JPPT. I do not regret my decision, yet it has unfortunately (and surprisingly) created a significant amount of tension between us, such that our communication may be severely crippled as a result. I went to great pains to convey my fear that it had dishonored the Lord as reassuringly and lovingly as possible, yet he did not respond too well. In fact, he went so far as to claim that this one incident is evidence of how greatly our minds differ in their operation, as well as how distinctly we practice our faith. I felt it was an extreme conclusion considering the many ways our thinking is aligned, hence I am saddened by that as well as by other remarks he made.

Nevertheless, I was unwilling to ignore the conviction of heart I experienced. I was truly concerned with protecting the integrity and beauty of the friendship that the Lord, through His grace and mercy, had blessed us with. Although he does not disregard my sentiments regarding the matter, he now wishes to place certain conditions on our interaction which may or may not include decreasing it.

 

[Singing Bush]

While I think you are certainly more than justified in raising the issue if you were offended by it, I personally do not think it was something to be offended about especially if this is the first time something like that has occurred. And as the ensuing reaction and tension has shown, sometimes the solution is worse than the original problem itself. It all depends on your values though; if it offended you that much and the "purity" of your all's friendship is that valuable to you then you certainly made the sensible choice.

 

[Anduron]

Asking God about what to do before acting is always wise. Glad you didn't ignore the conviction upon your heart.

Such as it is today, many are accepting of such things and see not to what it is.

 

[renaistre]

I'm not sure if I would say it was inappropreate, but it was at least questionable. I can see that your friend just might not have realized that it would offend you when he first sent it. But once you told him that it offended you, IMHO, he should have said somthing like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," and left it at that.

 

[Starcradle]

But once you told him that it offended you, IMHO, he should have said somthing like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," and left it at that.

My sentiments precisely.

 

[Stanfi]

It is good that you told him that the material was offensive. It is important to set boundries in a relationship, and the parties involved need to know where those boundries are. If someone doesn't respect you, in terms of what you feel is appopriate behavior, then you need a new friend.

 

[Allanon]

I don't think I would be offended by it and if I thought it was funny I might send it on. If someone came back at me and said it offended them I wouldn't mind and wouldn't send them something like that again. If someone came back and said that my joke offends the Lord there would probably be tension between us. That's the way it sounds to me, you didn't just say this joke was in poor taste. You might have implied that his humor offends God. How do you expect to be real close friends if he thinks you're always looking down on him and things he finds mostly innocent and funny?

 

[Starcradle]

How do you expect to be real close friends if he thinks you're always looking down on him and things he finds mostly innocent and funny?

Always looking down on him? That was hardly the case and once again I reiterate that I did not berate or belittle him in manifesting my concern. I have taken great pains to be a good steward of this friendship (which I greatly love) and if I cannot "dare" to express myself upon one occasion despite having invested a great deal, then the problem transcends a mere sound file.