In need of some help

[TheLongRoad]

Hey everyone. I have been experiencing some heavy issues with anxiety and some depression. The crippling anxiety seems to be more of an issue though because I don’t really feel a deep sadness. I always saw depression as a crying sadness where there are feelings of hopelessness. I just feel exhausted with life, anxiety for no reason, and the daily struggle in general.

I find myself constantly praying for death and to let God take me home. I often pray that I could interceded for someone with a terminal illness so I could switch and give them a long life here on earth. I am not afraid of death because I 1000% know because of my faith, I will see Him in heaven, but have a strong uncertainty of that if I ended this life myself. This is what stops me and I feel stuck.

Just being fed up with health issues, barely financially able to survive, having to face the sheer amount of cruel selfish people walking around...I guess just life in general has been pushing me closer to the edge. Anywhere besides Church (which is now usually only half full), there seems to be majority worldly, selfish and self-centred people here. It’s truly awful attempting to drive around this city. If I had the finances, I’d move to an area that wasn’t so negative, but this would most likely never be possible for me.

Philippians 1:21 To live is is Christ, to die is to gain.
2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

I often think of these passages and wonder why I am not able to go early, or intercede so someone else could live in a world that I no longer want to be apart of? Again, it doesn’t seem like depression. I just feel like life is too long and wish it didn’t have to be. I always feel a sense of calm whenever I think of passing away. I do feel a sadness whenever thinking about how long I have left on this earth. These thoughts do often bring me to tears. I just don’t know and doesn’t feel like this is true depression. Just fed up I guess. The struggles seem to get worse and never seem to get a breather. I just want out from all this, have a deep sleep and then meet Christ in heaven.

Has anyone else experienced these types of feelings? Any and all responses are welcome.

 

[Kevin Snow]

This is not maturity or wisdom in Christ. We are called to be here on earth to do his will, which is eternal life. We live that life now and are to spread the fragrance of Christ everywhere. If it's God's will then we do it, and his will is obviously for you to live, so you need to make the most of it.

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. ~Ephesians 5:16

 

[joshua 1 9]

I find myself constantly praying for death and to let God take me home.

The Bible clearly teaches we are to die to self so we can live for God and I constantly see people that get confused with this. IT is our old man and our old nature that needs to die so we can be born again and a new Creation in Christ. Old things pass away and everything becomes new. Jesus lived His life as an example for us to follow. He went about preaching, teaching and healing the sick. We can be renewed in our mind. WE can have the Mind of Christ and we can know the Divine thoughts of God. God does not give us the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. We have power over the enemy, we are more then overcomers and we have the victory.

We can claim the promises of God. We have a covenant relationship with God and His promises are conditional. Every promise has a part that we need to perform. For example: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." IF WE seek God with all of our heart (our part) we will find Him (His part is to reveal Himself to us)

 

[joshua 1 9]

his will is obviously for you to live

We have to choose life or death, blessing or curse, sickness or health, poverty or prosperity. He wants us to make the right choice He wants us to choose life, blessing, health, prosperity. Still it is up to us to make that choice and He will not make our choice for us. Deu 30:19 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live".

 

[amariselle]

Hey everyone. I have been experiencing some heavy issues with anxiety and some depression. The crippling anxiety seems to be more of an issue though because I don’t really feel a deep sadness. I always saw depression as a crying sadness where there are feelings of hopelessness. I just feel exhausted with life, anxiety for no reason, and the daily struggle in general.

I find myself constantly praying for death and to let God take me home. I often pray that I could interceded for someone with a terminal illness so I could switch and give them a long life here on earth. I am not afraid of death because I 1000% know because of my faith, I will see Him in heaven, but have a strong uncertainty of that if I ended this life myself. This is what stops me and I feel stuck.

Just being fed up with health issues, barely financially able to survive, having to face the sheer amount of cruel selfish people walking around...I guess just life in general has been pushing me closer to the edge. Anywhere besides Church (which is now usually only half full), there seems to be majority worldly, selfish and self-centred people here. It’s truly awful attempting to drive around this city. If I had the finances, I’d move to an area that wasn’t so negative, but this would most likely never be possible for me.

Philippians 1:21 To live is is Christ, to die is to gain.
2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

I often think of these passages and wonder why I am not able to go early, or intercede so someone else could live in a world that I no longer want to be apart of? Again, it doesn’t seem like depression. I just feel like life is too long and wish it didn’t have to be. I always feel a sense of calm whenever I think of passing away. I do feel a sadness whenever thinking about how long I have left on this earth. These thoughts do often bring me to tears. I just don’t know and doesn’t feel like this is true depression. Just fed up I guess. The struggles seem to get worse and never seem to get a breather. I just want out from all this, have a deep sleep and then meet Christ in heaven.

Has anyone else experienced these types of feelings? Any and all responses are welcome.

Hi TLR,

I’m sorry that you’ve been going through some difficult times lately. I may not know your exact situation, but I do know what it is to have anxiety and depression and to feel trapped and stuck in regard to what is going on in this world.

As believers who have been called out of this world, we know that it is not our home, and we do sometimes long to be “absent from the body and present with the Lord.” However, as believers, we are the “body of Christ” and we need to shine the light of the Gospel into this dark world so that others too can hear the word of God and believe on Christ and be saved. Paul also acknowledged that it was better for him to remain longer so that he could minister to others.

There are many ways in which we can help those around us, and nothing we do for the Lord is ever useless. I pray that you spend time with the Lord and in His word and that He will give you strength and courage to continue even though things are difficult right now.

Do you have any close believing family and friends you could sit down and share your struggles with? If so, that may really help, as we are not meant to stand alone.

God bless you.

 

[Job3315]

Hey everyone. I have been experiencing some heavy issues with anxiety and some depression. The crippling anxiety seems to be more of an issue though because I don’t really feel a deep sadness. I always saw depression as a crying sadness where there are feelings of hopelessness. I just feel exhausted with life, anxiety for no reason, and the daily struggle in general.

I find myself constantly praying for death and to let God take me home. I often pray that I could interceded for someone with a terminal illness so I could switch and give them a long life here on earth. I am not afraid of death because I 1000% know because of my faith, I will see Him in heaven, but have a strong uncertainty of that if I ended this life myself. This is what stops me and I feel stuck.

Just being fed up with health issues, barely financially able to survive, having to face the sheer amount of cruel selfish people walking around...I guess just life in general has been pushing me closer to the edge. Anywhere besides Church (which is now usually only half full), there seems to be majority worldly, selfish and self-centred people here. It’s truly awful attempting to drive around this city. If I had the finances, I’d move to an area that wasn’t so negative, but this would most likely never be possible for me.

Philippians 1:21 To live is is Christ, to die is to gain.
2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

I often think of these passages and wonder why I am not able to go early, or intercede so someone else could live in a world that I no longer want to be apart of? Again, it doesn’t seem like depression. I just feel like life is too long and wish it didn’t have to be. I always feel a sense of calm whenever I think of passing away. I do feel a sadness whenever thinking about how long I have left on this earth. These thoughts do often bring me to tears. I just don’t know and doesn’t feel like this is true depression. Just fed up I guess. The struggles seem to get worse and never seem to get a breather. I just want out from all this, have a deep sleep and then meet Christ in heaven.

Has anyone else experienced these types of feelings? Any and all responses are welcome.

Yes, I understand the feeling. I actually think it is because our spirits know God and they are longing for Him. Your spirit is crying out its need and desire for God. I was meditating on it the other day and the whole thing with the volcanos errupting shows that even creation is longing as well.

I am also dealing with some health issues myself. I had to make my world small and even disconnect from media because I felt I was being dragged like a wave. I had to learn to do what I could and make ends meet with what I have.

 

[TheLongRoad]

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure what it is, but maybe there is a reason I’m not permitted to leave this body yet. The thought of being able to intercede for someone who is struggling and wants so much to live is a nice thought. To be of service and do one great thing...to give this life for someone else so they can live. I would do this in an instant for God. Thanks again, everyone.

 

[sea5763]

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure what it is, but maybe there is a reason I’m not permitted to leave this body yet. The thought of being able to intercede for someone who is struggling and wants so much to live is a nice thought. To be of service and do one great thing...to give this life for someone else so they can live. I would do this in an instant for God. Thanks again, everyone.

I felt the same way when my grandma was dying. She wanted to live and I wanted to die, and I wish I could have switched places with her. I'm currently at a point where I just wish that God will kill me, and I know that will happen eventually, but waiting sucks. If I could find a relatively painless way to get killed on behalf of Christ, I think I would do it like now. I don't know if I would be willing to endure suffering on behalf of Christ. The spirit is willing but he flesh is weak. I want to believe that I would if need be, but right now I don't know if I really would or not.

I remember having this one thought cross my mind, it went like this, "I know you are willing to die for me, but are you willing to live for me?" I don't know where this thought came from, but it got me thinking that maybe while I'm alive I should try to live the life that God would want from me. I realize that I don't have a lot of skills, especially in evangelism and being comforting and helpful in general. I've been telling myself that I will help by trying to earn and then donate a lot of money, and maybe not have kids and donate the money I would have spent on kids to charity. So far I'm still in school and have only donated a little bit after working barely more than 2 years. But I tell myself that I will make a purpose for myself by working hard and donating a lot to the underground church who are good at spreading the gospel such as through Persecution.org, and to the local church I've been going to, and to the local food bank. I'm too old to still be trying to get a bachelor's degree and still be living with my parents, but I should be done and have a job that pays within the next two years. Then I will see if I'm too greedy to follow through or not. my first efforts will be towards paying back my student loans and donating.

 

[Jeshu]

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure what it is, but maybe there is a reason I’m not permitted to leave this body yet. The thought of being able to intercede for someone who is struggling and wants so much to live is a nice thought. To be of service and do one great thing...to give this life for someone else so they can live. I would do this in an instant for God. Thanks again, everyone.

It is not about perishing in your afflictions brother but overcoming them in The Lord and then helping others do the same. As His children we need to establish His Kingdom here on earth, firstly in our own hearts by dying to our big I and crowning Jesus King instead and then by passing His good life on to other people.

Faith in His Love will bring you hope! Learn to live out of this hope instead of out of the input from your depression and anxiety and in no time the worst of your sufferings will be behind you and you will again have good purpose and meaning in life.

i have been battling anxiety and depression since my teens and often times they floored me completely, yet in the end i saw that my affliction did not come for nothing and that i needed to learn from the things i was going through. Once i saw that Jesus could bring good life out of bad life i began to understand His purpose with my life but not before.

i sincerely hope that you let Jesus work His Kingdom into your hurting life as well so that something beautiful can be made of it.

Peace.


A Way Out Of Depression

How can we have meaning if we don't love?
everything else is but a clinging cymbal,
a sounding gong!
...of no importance in the scheme of things,
a loving faith takes us Home to Him!
He who is love Himself!
Hide in His love!
..and love His children,
and all Creation too!
and find a way out,
of this hell hole we've been in.
His love the way out of depression.