Hello. There is so much I can say. If you’re willing to trudge through and read the “novel” I wrote and offer encouragement where you can, I’d appreciate it. If not, all I ask is for prayer for what I’m struggling with now.
Little about me: I’m 24, completed college in 2016, and currently have 2 part-time jobs that have nothing to do with my major. I eventually hope to have a full-time job.
Down to how I’ve been feeling: I feel lost and untalented. I’ve prayed in the past that God would give me a vision (in the sense that He will show me want He wants me to do as a career, or just lay on my heart my life’s purpose) but I still don’t know what that is. To make matters worse, I graduated with a degree in graphic design but I feel as if I have no talent in this. Other people are 1000x more talented than me (and that’s ok) but most of the time I take forever to do a project or even come up with one. I struggle with it and yet it’s my degree. I do love art and I would definitely would rather have it as a career over any other but I just don’t feel super qualified or gifted in it. I also don’t even know what I would want to do as a job. Places that I applied to, either didn’t want me or never even called me or emailed me back when submitting my resume. But, I also wasn’t a “go-getter” and I wasn’t persistent in doing what I can to try and get the job and follow up with it. It’s hard because I sometimes just didn’t care for the job I’m applying to either. I also haven’t been too diligent in looking for jobs either though. I just want to find my place in the world and figure out why God created me, why He still keeps me on this earth, and just what my purpose is. That is why I just feel so lost, confused, and untalented.
I do think it would be cool to have “my own business” like an Etsy shop and do some artwork and sell it which I was considering trying.
But overall, I just want to find out what God wants me to do and what I’m capable of and qualified for.
The second thing I’ve been feeling: I’ve been feeling alone, sad, and frustrated. I feel alone because I don’t have any close friends (especially in my hometown) and the friends I do have live in different states, and they often/sometimes ignore my texts (most of them do but not all). Not only that, but no one ever texts me first or wants to facetime me, or sees how I’m doing. It’s always me initiating; it’s always been like that for me. However, I do have this one friend that is pretty good at keeping in touch with me which I appreciate. But it makes me sad and frustrated. And it makes me feel so detestable and uninteresting to people, like I’m not “worth it” to them. I also think it may have to do with personality maybe (I’m shy and just don’t open up easily or act crazy, etc.). Like I get they’re busy and they’re busy living their lives but it still hurts because I care about them and it’s like they don’t even care about me. And one more thing to mention that’s always been a struggle for me: I’ve never been in a relationship and it can make me feel sad. There are literally no Christian boys (or boys in general for that matter!) in my life or hometown and no boys that I talk to, so it makes me wonder if I’m going to be single forever. I just really wish I could have met my husband at college.
There is so much more I can say about this and there are things that I struggle with that I didn’t even share, but these are the main things I guess.
But through all of this, even when it’s hard to believe and grasp, I do know God is enough, He understands, and He is good. But it’s hard when my emotions feel so strong and make me wish God could take me away. I just also need to do a better job at keeping Him first and spending time with Him daily since He is my true joy and satisfaction. But if could please pray for me, I’d appreciate it! And I’m sorry for how long this was and for rambling on! Thanks for your time!!
Little about me: I’m 24, completed college in 2016, and currently have 2 part-time jobs that have nothing to do with my major. I eventually hope to have a full-time job.
Down to how I’ve been feeling: I feel lost and untalented. I’ve prayed in the past that God would give me a vision (in the sense that He will show me want He wants me to do as a career, or just lay on my heart my life’s purpose) but I still don’t know what that is. To make matters worse, I graduated with a degree in graphic design but I feel as if I have no talent in this. Other people are 1000x more talented than me (and that’s ok) but most of the time I take forever to do a project or even come up with one. I struggle with it and yet it’s my degree. I do love art and I would definitely would rather have it as a career over any other but I just don’t feel super qualified or gifted in it. I also don’t even know what I would want to do as a job. Places that I applied to, either didn’t want me or never even called me or emailed me back when submitting my resume. But, I also wasn’t a “go-getter” and I wasn’t persistent in doing what I can to try and get the job and follow up with it. It’s hard because I sometimes just didn’t care for the job I’m applying to either. I also haven’t been too diligent in looking for jobs either though. I just want to find my place in the world and figure out why God created me, why He still keeps me on this earth, and just what my purpose is. That is why I just feel so lost, confused, and untalented.
I do think it would be cool to have “my own business” like an Etsy shop and do some artwork and sell it which I was considering trying.
But overall, I just want to find out what God wants me to do and what I’m capable of and qualified for.
The second thing I’ve been feeling: I’ve been feeling alone, sad, and frustrated. I feel alone because I don’t have any close friends (especially in my hometown) and the friends I do have live in different states, and they often/sometimes ignore my texts (most of them do but not all). Not only that, but no one ever texts me first or wants to facetime me, or sees how I’m doing. It’s always me initiating; it’s always been like that for me. However, I do have this one friend that is pretty good at keeping in touch with me which I appreciate. But it makes me sad and frustrated. And it makes me feel so detestable and uninteresting to people, like I’m not “worth it” to them. I also think it may have to do with personality maybe (I’m shy and just don’t open up easily or act crazy, etc.). Like I get they’re busy and they’re busy living their lives but it still hurts because I care about them and it’s like they don’t even care about me. And one more thing to mention that’s always been a struggle for me: I’ve never been in a relationship and it can make me feel sad. There are literally no Christian boys (or boys in general for that matter!) in my life or hometown and no boys that I talk to, so it makes me wonder if I’m going to be single forever. I just really wish I could have met my husband at college.
There is so much more I can say about this and there are things that I struggle with that I didn’t even share, but these are the main things I guess.
But through all of this, even when it’s hard to believe and grasp, I do know God is enough, He understands, and He is good. But it’s hard when my emotions feel so strong and make me wish God could take me away. I just also need to do a better job at keeping Him first and spending time with Him daily since He is my true joy and satisfaction. But if could please pray for me, I’d appreciate it! And I’m sorry for how long this was and for rambling on! Thanks for your time!!
