In need of peace and guidance (on brink of panic attacks)

[PoseyLynn1]

Hi, I'm new here.
I'm a young lady who really likes/is in love with her ex boyfriend.
From what I know, he isn't saved, but while we were dating, he started to take interest in God and Jesus. He even asked me where a few Bible verses were! Anyway, I've been having a really hard time dealing with our breakup, and I need some peace and guidance from God on what to do. This guy makes me happy, and where he is strong, I am not, vise versa. The reason why I am talking about him in present tense is because we are still friends and never really stopped talking.

I can't go to my parents with this, because I feel like they will ridicule me. Sometimes, when I try to pray, I almost have a panic attack because I am afraid of what God will say to me about everything I have been going through. I've never felt like this before.

My best friend recently came out of the closet and is dating another female. My parents really wanted me to leave her and tell her she is in sin but I didn't. They told me that I was accepting her sin and I would be turned gay too if I wasn't careful. They are not letting me hang out or talk to her any more (unless other straight people are there). I feel conflicted because I think Jesus wants us to show those who are wrong love, but I also don't want to go to hell.

I've recently noticed that my dad has been saying some pretty rude things to me. Yesterday, he said I would be worthless once I start hanging out with my ex again because I wasn't raking dirt fast enough. He always calls me lazy and says that I do everything halfway.

I'm also in college, and my grades haven't been the best. I really want to be a doctor, so I'm going to really kick the next chemistry class out of the water.

I'm afraid I'm testing the waters too much by still liking this guy. I also feel like I've been burdening others with these problems. I feel like I've been in a dark place ever since the breakup. Its helped me learn more about God's love for us, but it just seems like, ever since then, bad things have been happening. I need some prayer for patience and peace. Any advice would be welcome too.

 

[Remny]

Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time getting over your ex. I know how bad it hurts, and how hard it is to think about other things when ones heart is left longing, and I will pray for you guys.

Your best friend is a very important person, and I want you to know that I personally don't think being gay is a sin, and there are actually many other people that see themselves as christian that think as I do. However, if you believe it is, that's still ok. Lots of things are sins, we manage to be friends with smokers, and drinkers, liars, gluttons, even thieves. It should be no different with gay people. A gay person, even if living in sin can still do a lot of good things, and remember no one is perfect. I hope and pray you are able to continue your friendship with your best friend without things getting unpleasant for either of you.

Sorry to hear about your dad... ya know... parents have their own personalities, problems, and bad habits. Realize he's a flawed human like you and what he is saying to you has more to do with how he is feeling inside than how you are behaving. I will pray for this issues as well.

Best of luck and God Bless!

 

[KIRKBIBLE]

I am so sorry that you are going through these things but always remember, God will never put more on you than you can bear, so apparently He must think you are pretty strong.
As far as your ex is concerned, be patient, if it is meant to be then it will happen at the right time. My husband and I dated 3 different times before we really connected and ended up getting married. We have been married for 27 years now and sometimes I think that if we had gotten married sooner we might not have made it. I think God was waiting for us both to be really ready before He let us get to that place so that it would last.
As for your lesbian friend, I believe that it is our duty to be the light in the dark for others. If God ever deals with her about her life style then she will need someone to turn to that she knows cares about her and won't judge her. "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". We all sin and fall short of the glory of God, so as Christians the best we can do is try to live a life that will be a witness to others.
I'll pray for you!
God Bless!

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Welcome to CF!
You may find counsel and support in the
Life Stages forums
You will be in my prayers ~ God bless you