Well, I found that paper.....in my purse. What an idiot I am, huh? Anyway, really, really bad things have been happening in my life. People I thought were friends have really hurt me. A friend told me it would be better off for my parents if I committed suicide and made it made it look like an accident rather than leeching off them like I am now. A lot of people over the net also have really hurt me lately, and one person told me I was compromising myself for posting so much online. I figured that so many people were hurting me online and also maybe I'm just embarrasing myself, so I signed off of all my christian support lists that I'm on. People on one list hurt me, so I want to get off the rest before I get a chance to get hurt or embarrass myself further. I had decided to commit suicide after the holidays, had it all planned out to do it right this time, and when I went to my counselor to reach out (that was so hard) I accidentally interrupted her and she screamed at me, and when I tried to apologize she yelled at me for apologizing. So I just walked away, and later I called her up and told her on her answering machine that I wasn't coming into program anymore (she's the counselor in all the group therapies) and I'm sure she thinks I'm way overreacting and I know I am, but I'm upset. I tried to cancel my account on CF, but it wouldn't let me but I deleted my pm mailbox and lost everyone's address who pmd me with it. I wasn't going to come back here but I talked to my best friend and she said that Satan would probably want me to leave a place where I am prayed for and helped by other Christians and for me to stay alone in my room all isolated. (I am writing way too much. I meant only to come on here and post briefly, but here I am poring out my heart. I probably am compromising myself) Ironically, when I tried to get onto CF today my computer kept crashing every time I tried. Like 13 times, this happened. I don't know if I will be able to get on CF in the future. (it has always crashed the first two or three times I tried to get on, for all the time I've been posting here, but its much worse now) so this may be my last post. If anyone wants to reply, send e-mail to my new address, which I just opened up and I think is untraceable xxxxx@xxxxxx.xxx Or you can reply but I don't know if I will be able to read it. I may not post again anyway, I am ashamed of posting now.
Staff Edit: Personal e-mail address is not to be posted publicly. I believe it is to protect the poster from potential abuse of e-mail address. You can give out your e-mail address through PM.
Staff Edit: Personal e-mail address is not to be posted publicly. I believe it is to protect the poster from potential abuse of e-mail address. You can give out your e-mail address through PM.
